Marrying An Unbeliever

by choosing life 3 Replies latest jw friends

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  choosing life

  Are there new rules about attending the weddings of jws who marry a non-jw? There was a recent incident where a jw and non jw had a wedding reception and invited jws. The jws were secretly warned that if they dared to attend the reception, they would lose any priveleges in the congregation.

  Before, when the reception was being discussed at the hall, even elder's wives stated to the couple not to forget to invite them. The couple was already married in a civil ceremony and this was a reception weeks later. Apparently, the elders let it be made known to the congregation that they would risk the loss of priveleges if they chose to attend. Never made a formal announcement, but used the rumour mill that works so well.

  They never bothered to tell the couple and kept it from them. So the event comes up and no one shows up. Imagine the huge disappointment of the couple, along with all the money wasted! This was so underhanded and cruel. The least they could have done is spoken to the couple and let them know so as not to waste paying for many meals (not cheap) that were wasted. Their mean-spiritedness never ceases to amaze me.
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  greendawn

  There are every bit as fanatical as in the 1980's when I was part of it and could closely observe them, I am amazed that they haven't been tempered with the passage of so much time. They gave a "good" wipnessing to the non JW spouse.
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  Jeepthing

  I know where one elder contducted a wedding for his nonjw nephew and invited other jws from his congregation. Some people went and some people made some comments about it as not acceptable. Funny thing was that this nephew's parents were inactive jws. One time they were ms and very zealous pioneers in this kh. They were known as bad assoications because they stopped attending. Nothing was done offically but no one made any big deal enough to make it as official. Actually, some jws attended this wedding and had a good time. I was only studying at that time but invited to wedding. I didn't go because our ms at that time told me they weren't good witnesses. Well, nothing happened and I only saw these people once a year for memorial. Later on they opened a store and sold lottos and alcohol but nothing happened to them. They even helped with building our new kh. They were in charge of some of the equipments for qb. Some people complained but told to mind your own business by po in kh. So it is who you know and who you are related to not how bad of jw you are.
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  blondie

  The thing to remember is that the WTS has been directing the BOEs to be more strict regarding marriages to unbelievers and attending the weddings. If your experiences are more than 10 years old, you may be shocked to find out that what was allowed back then could lead to the removal of an elder, MS, or regular pioneer today (and has). Even a talk could be given at the service meeting about attending weddings where one person is an inactive JW and the other is not.

  I went to several weddings over the last 20 years where an inactive (or even an active JW) married a non-JW. The wedding may have been performed even by a JW (no JW brother, elder or not, would get permission from the BOE to do that today).

  Today all this has to be pre-approved by the BOE of the congregation where the JW attends. It is the conscience of the elder body that trumps everyone else's conscience.

  Blondie