Happiness Is a Warm Bank Teller

by SixofNine 7 Replies latest jw friends

  • SixofNine

    Bang bang, shoot shoot.

    Reading the article excerpted below, it occurred to me that we could be doing this whole "war thing" much more efficiently if we just killed people by dropping money on their swarthy heads.

    Think about it; a 25 lb dumbell would kill anyone if dropped from a third story window, no less from an airplane. So, if the administration sent over 363 tons of cash to release to the Iraqis just before "handing the gov back" to them, wouldn't it have been better to release it directly to the Iraqi people in the form of money bombs? Sort of a direct deposit? Heck, we wouldn't even have to give out the additional $2500.00 US (aren't we generous?) that we now give to the families of innocents that we kill.

    Here is the basic math: 363 tons of paper money @ 25lbs per smart-money bomb, could potentially kill 29,040 Iraqi's. Now it's true, we've killed far more than that with actual ammunition, but ammunition isn't free either, and it's way messier than paper. Noisier too. And remember, we're supposed to be putting money into the Iraqi economy anyway.

    But for some Americans, for whom 29,040 rag-headed hajis isn't nearly enough (that still leaves some, right?), why not terminate with extreme coinage? Think about the force multiplier effect that nickles & dimes could have! Cluster bomblettes of quarters! The shrapnel from a one hundred pound dollar-coin bunker buster would buy you plenty of Hunger Busters in the Green Zone. It's enough to give the so-called conservatives a war woody.

    And by "war woody", I'm speaking of one thousand pound laser cut and guided wooden nickle ordinance. What did you think I meant?
    WASHINGTON (Reuters) -- The Federal Reserve sent record payouts of more than $4 billion in cash to Baghdad on giant pallets aboard military planes shortly before the United States gave control back to Iraqis, lawmakers said Tuesday.

    The money, which had been held by the United States, came from Iraqi oil exports, surplus dollars from the U.N.-run oil-for-food program and frozen assets belonging to the ousted Saddam Hussein regime.

    Bills weighing a total of 363 tons were loaded onto military aircraft in the largest cash shipments ever made by the Federal Reserve, said Rep. Henry Waxman, chairman of the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform.

    "Who in their right mind would send 363 tons of cash into a war zone? But that's exactly what our government did," the California Democrat said during a hearing reviewing possible waste, fraud and abuse of funds in Iraq.
    MORE: http://www.cnn.com/2007/POLITICS/02/06/iraq.cash.reut/i...

  • Narkissos

    You dropped this post and JWD went down for 16 hours...

  • RAF
    Nakissos : You dropped this post and JWD went down for 16 hours...

    ... ...

  • Kudra

    That's cause sixy's on the *WatchList* and now the gov's got tabs on all the other registered users...

  • juni

    ............and he's called the Supreme One

  • SixofNine

    You dropped this post and JWD went down for 16 hours...

    heheh... I was very surprised to see it posted actually, when I finally got back on the site this evening. Funny, a few important lines of text are missing. :raises one eyebrow:

  • purplesofa
  • Robdar

    Brilliant! I love it.


    *who is well acquainted with the touch of a velvet hand like a lizard on a window pane*

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