Because of growing up in a divided household I had a glimpse into family gatherings at the holidays . My most treasured memories are of those shared times together . We would come over to our Grandparents after the gift giving ,but still shared the meals and the family . After marrying, my husbands family did the same thing for a couple of years .When his Step Brother and Step Father became servants we all were expected to put up a united front and stop attending holiday family gatherings. This was so sad to me .His elderly relatives never understood our stand and honestly we only stopped because we didn't want the other witness relatives to think less of us .I wish we had followed our own consciences then ,we were young and gullible . Now I look back and grieve over the good ,wholesome times we have missed over the years . Now the grandparents are dead . His parents moved away and are so busy "in the Truth " they have no time to call or ask about their own grandchildrens lives . We are trying to make memories now with the ones we ignored for way to long : like his worldly father that supposedly was such a persecutor of the truth , and my own brother that was DA'd and thus to be shunned for nearly 30yrs. This year we celebrated Thanksgiving as a family with my brother and Christmas w/his father . It is sad though because our children are grown and live away so they are missing out . I have as a goal to build memories with my remaining relatives and children as best as I can.
I hate the fact that belief in this religion stole potential memories .....
Now I look back and grieve over the good ,wholesome times we have missed over the years
I know how you feel.
It makes me sad to think of people like you...and my family members. But gives me hope, too, that someday
they may be saying the same thing. Which would mean they are out of the cult. At least you are moving forward, that is such a good thing!
I feel the same thing. Some of my most treasured memories are before I was 7 years old and we did Christmas and holidays as a family.
My grandfather died two years ago, just as Freedomloverr and I were leaving the JWs. I had a trip to go out and visit him, but a month before my trip he passed away. I had wanted to apologize to him for all the mean things me and my JW-side of the family had ever said to him, but I didn't get a chance to do it. Thankfully he knew I was done with the JWs before he died at least.
At the funeral service my aunt got up to speak and said she was glad she had all the great memories with him and that she made sure his grandkids had plenty of memories made with him. It really pissed me off when I heard that because that is what makes me the most sad, is the loss of those memories - er - the chance to make those memories is now gone forever.
I have those same feelings too. I had 10 years in that org and sacrificed a lot of goo dtimes with my entire non JW family. 3 or 4 of them that I loved died during this time and they never got to know how I felt about them, purely because of my estrangement. For 1, my aunt who died last year, it is particularly painful to me. I even feel guilty because I succumed to that crock of absolute shit instead of being with my beutiful family memebers. Make the most of the future.
That makes two of us.