Two steps forward...

by Paralipomenon 4 Replies latest jw friends

  • Paralipomenon

    Well, a bit of an update. I'm still trying to get my wife out of the organization, or at least to stop the half hearted adherence to the strict rules when it comes to our children.

    After our last rather heated discussion where we realized that this issue might actually break us up I haven't approached the subject much at all. In this time she still hasn't been to any meetings but has taken up a few "little" things.

    She puts on the WTS's bible story tapes for the kids to fall asleep listening to.
    Semi-informal witnessing to our neighbor about the blood issue
    Saying the prayer at supper time for the children.

    Then she tells me about all the cute little things like the kids holding hands for the prayer, and how great it is that our neighbor was curious about witness teachings.

    She knows exactly how I feel, I have the book "Crisis of Conscience" on my bedside table. It seems she thinks that if she does these little things she might entice me to tolerate it? I have no clue.

    Usually I have no issue with confrontation with co-workers or strangers, but I'm having a really hard time with this. I still love her, but I realize that this issue might actually split us apart so I continue to read here and just keep getting frustrated with the blatant lies that she takes in without question. It is so hard to bring up a discussion that will hurt her, but if I don't our children will continue to be confused.

    My son saw a little animated Santa on a web page and pointed and said:

    "Look! There's Santa!"

    He paused then added "We don't like Santa"

    I asked him why we don't like Santa and after thinking for a while he just shrugged and said "I don't know, mama doesn't like him"

    This is precisely the reason I want to protect the children from this. They don't go to halls, or service and have no witness friends so they are completely confused as to why they can't be like every other kid.

    Well a couple nights ago I went over to our neighbor's house to show a cool new smart phone I was evaluating from work to her husband. We talked for a while and I unloaded all my frustrations about my wife keeping up the "Witness vibe".

    I should mention that our neighbor is my wife's best friend (worldly) and they remarked that we really didn't seem like most of the witnesses they knew and found it rather awkward around the holidays and birthdays. We talked for a bit and I explained to them exactly what the beliefs were supposed to be and the selective things that my wife is still holding onto.

    She also remarked that my wife seemed to drift in and out of a trance when she was talking about witness issues and seemed a different person. I gave her some light ammo and I think she's going to help me in making some cracks. I really think she'd do better, because I must be blinded by apostate teachings and therefore my wife can dismiss anything I say about organization.

    My son has a birthday coming up and for the first time in my life, I really want to do something. If she's going to say prayers and play bible studies, I can't see why I can't take them for a birthday supper or something.

    The absolute worst part was that when she was witnessing to our neighbor she didn't have any information about blood fractions. It's laughable, she hasn't been to a meeting in so long, that doctrine has changed and she doesn't know it.

    Until such I time I should make her wear a hat when praying for the children since it isn't proper for a woman to offer prayer when there's a baptized male in the house. Hehehe, that would irk her to no end.

  • Junction-Guy

    I applaud you for trying to allow your children some sense of normalcy. Go ahead and celebrate their birthday, enroll them in sports, take them to the boy scouts, just be a real Dad, something the WT Society tries to prevent.

  • AuntieJane

    Para, I applaud your efforts. I think teamwork is a great idea...but be sure she knows that your wife must NOT have a clue

    that you are doing this together. Your wife will never trust you again, and she will probably revert deeper into the JW cult.

    Be sure your neighbor understands how volatile this can be. Most 'worldly' people have no real clue as to how damaging

    the JW teachings are.

    As for you, I would like to hear you say that YOU take charge one night at prayer. You are the head of the household, why not

    say to your family, Let's hold hands now and I will lead a prayer of thanks and ask God's blessing on this food...and on the

    beautiful lady who prepared it. Or something simple. Take charge a little bit without making her defensive. Same with the kids

    at night time. Where are you when she puts those tapes on? Buy a kids' bible stories at Walmart, or any other simple Bible

    teaching story book that is not made by the WTS and say that it is your turn to interact with your kids. BELIEVE me, the kids

    will remember and treasure these moments more than listening to JW propaganda tapes! Get more proactive with your family.

    Just my 2 cents, but I hope you'll try these suggestions,


  • mama1119

    I think Auntie Jane has some wonderful advice. I would listen to her. You do need to do it subtly though, so as not to tear your children in two and confuse them. Don't make them think they have to choose sides or a religion for that matter.

  • Dismembered

    Greetings Paralipomenon ,

    I hope you hang in there. Try to be patient with your wife, she's the victim of a nasty brainwashing/mindcontrol cult. If she can handle you having CofC on your bedroom nightstand, perhaps there's hope you can win someday. Plus you have kids. If that cult comes between you and her, those asses win.......again! Your children could lose ..Bigtime!

    My 2 cents


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