Question- Funeral Memorial Service

by Sentient 2 Replies latest jw friends

  • Sentient
    Sentient

    Hi, I have a question that I can't seem to find a clear answer to. I remember pretty well what the policies were when I was in the org, but others of you would probably have a better answer.

    Here's a reference:

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    ***w77 6/1 pp. 347-348 Mourning and Funerals—For Whom? ***

    FUNERALS OF DISFELLOWSHIPED PERSONS?

    However, suppose the deceased is a disfellowshiped person, someone who has been expelled from the Christian congregation for one reason or another. In “Questions from Readers” (The Watchtower, 1961, p. 544) the position was taken that a funeral for a disfellowshiped person was improper. The comment was made: “We never want to give the impression to outsiders that a disfellowshiped person was acceptable in the congregation when in truth and in fact he was not acceptable but had been disfellowshiped from it.” Are there no exceptions, in arranging a funeral for a disfellowshiped person?
    Before answering that question it would be well briefly to review the matter of disfellowshiping. That it has a Scriptural basis can be seen from First Corinthians chapter 5, in which the apostle Paul commands the disfellowshiping of an immoral man. However, it was not until 1952 that Jehovah’s people of modern times acted on the growing urgency along this line. With strong zeal for righteousness and a hatred for what is wicked, they set guidelines for those taking the lead so as to keep congregations spiritually, doctrinally and morally clean.
    Through the years Jehovah’s people have come to see the matter of disfellowshiping ever more clearly. Not only were details spelled out, but more and more it was seen that wisdom and love, as well as justice, have come into play. They saw the need of showing mercy to truly repentant erring ones, and of considering extenuating circumstances and any evidence of sincere sorrow. In quite recent years it was also pointed out that there is a difference between the way Christians should conduct themselves toward a notorious sinner or an aggressive apostate and toward one who is viewed as “a man of the nations”—to whom the common courtesy of a greeting may be extended.—Matt. 18:17; 2 John 9, 10.
    It would seem that this distinction could even be observed in connection with the funeral of a disfellowshiped person. A Christian congregation would not want its good name besmirched by having it associated with any to whom 2 John 9, 10 applied, even in their death. But suppose a disfellowshiped person had been giving some evidence of genuine repentance and had been coming to the meetings and manifesting a desire to be reinstated in the congregation. Then, if the elders felt that it would not disturb the peace and harmony of the congregation nor bring reproach upon God’s people, there would be no objection to an elder’s giving a talk. How are they to know whether Jehovah has already forgiven him or not, since there is some evidence of repentance? Properly, the elders may have been waiting, wanting to make sure that his seeming repentance was sincere. Obviously, each case being different, it would need to be judged on its own merits. Of course, if a funeral talk is given, care would need to be taken not to dwell on personal matters nor to make any positive statements about whether he will be resurrected. But a fine Scriptural presentation and witness could certainly be given.
    Moreover, we should not overlook two of the cardinal reasons for disfellowshiping a wrongdoer. One is to jolt him to his senses if possible. The other is to protect the congregation from his bad influence. Neither of these would apply now, since the disfellowshiped person is deceased. Even where a disfellowshiped person has continued as a mere “man of the nations,” so to speak, a Scriptural funeral talk can serve more than one good purpose, even as previously noted: It can provide comfort for the bereaved and a witness to outsiders. The very fact that a fine witness is given can be a comfort and consolation to the bereaved ones regardless of the circumstances.
    We alone of all earth’s creatures were made in God’s image. Because of this we have the capacity to appreciate what death is all about. That is why we also have the capacity to mourn another’s loss of life and the desire to comfort bereaved ones. Is not our heavenly Father truly “the Father of tender mercies and the God of all comfort”? Surely! So in the matter of mourning and funerals we let his principles of wisdom, justice and love dictate our feelings and actions, even as they should in all other affairs of life.—2 Cor. 1:3, 4; 1 Cor. 16:14.

    *** w81 9/15 p. 31 If a Relative Is Disfellowshiped . . . ***

    25 The fact is that when a Christian gives himself over to sin and has to be disfellowshiped, he forfeits much: his approved standing with God; membership in the happy congregation of Christians; sweet fellowship with the brothers, including much of the association he had with Christian relatives. (1 Pet. 2:17) The pain he has caused may even survive him.
    26 Should he die while disfellowshiped, arrangements for his funeral may be a problem. His Christian relatives may like to have had a talk at the Kingdom Hall, if that is the local custom. But that would not be fitting for a person expelled from the congregation. If he had been giving evidence of repentance and wanting God’s forgiveness, such as by ceasing to practice sin and by attending Christian meetings, some brother’s conscience might allow him to give a Bible talk at the funeral home or grave site. Such Biblical comments about the condition of the dead provide a witness to unbelievers or comfort to the relatives. However, if the disfellowshiped person had still been advocating false teachings or ungodly conduct, even such a talk would not be appropriate.—2 John 9-11. ********************************************************************************************************


    So the question is, what are the policies now? Are you aware of recent examples where this was contradicted?

  • blondie
    blondie

    From 1997

    *** km 3/97 p. 7 Question Box ***

    When the congregation is called upon to assist in arranging for a funeral, the following questions may arise:

    Who should give the funeral discourse? This is a decision to be made by family members. They may select any baptized brother in good standing. If the body of elders are asked to provide a speaker, they will usually select a capable elder to give a talk based on the Society’s outline. Although not eulogizing the deceased, it may be appropriate to call attention to exemplary qualities he or she displayed.May the Kingdom Hall be used? It can if permission has been granted by the body of elders and if it does not interfere with a regularly scheduled meeting. The hall may be used if the deceased had a clean reputation and was a member of the congregation or the minor child of a member. If the individual had caused public notoriety by unchristian conduct, or if other factors exist that might reflect unfavorably on the congregation, the elders may decide not to allow the use of the hall.—See OurMinistry book, pages 62-3.

    Ordinarily, Kingdom Halls are not used for funerals of unbelievers. An exception might be made if surviving family members are actively associated as baptized publishers, the deceased was known by a fair number in the congregation to have had a favorable attitude toward the truth and a good reputation for upright conduct in the community, and no worldly customs are incorporated into the program.

    When granting use of the Kingdom Hall, the elders will consider whether it is customarily expected to see the casket present at the funeral. If it is, they might permit it to be brought into the hall.What about funerals for worldly people? If the deceased had a good reputation in the community, a brother might give a comforting Bible talk at the funeral home or graveside. The congregation will decline to handle a funeral for one who was known for immoral, unlawful conduct or whose life-style grossly conflicted with Bible principles. A brother certainly would not share with a clergyman in conducting an interfaith service nor in any funeral conducted in a church of Babylon the Great.What if the deceased was disfellowshipped? The congregation would generally not be involved. The Kingdom Hall would not be used. If the person had been giving evidence of repentance and manifesting a desire to be reinstated, a brother’s conscience might allow him to give a Bible talk at the funeral home or graveside, to give a witness to unbelievers and to comfort the relatives. Before making this decision, however, it would be wise for the brother to consult with the body of elders and give consideration to what they may recommend. In situations where it would not be wise for that brother to be involved, it may be appropriate for a brother whoisamemberofthedeceasedperson’sfamily to give a talk to console the relatives.

    Further direction can be found in the Watchtower issues of October 15, 1990, pages 30-1; September 15, 1981, page 31; March 15, 1980, pages 5-7; June 1, 1978, pages 5-8; June 1, 1977, pages 347-8; March 15, 1970, pages 191-2; and Awake! of September 8, 1990, pages 22-3 and March 22, 1977, pages 12-15.

  • Scully
    Scully
    It would seem that this distinction could even be observed in connection with the funeral of a disfellowshiped person. A Christian congregation would not want its good name besmirched by having it associated with any to whom 2 John 9, 10 applied, even in their death. But suppose a disfellowshiped person had been giving some evidence of genuine repentance and had been coming to the meetings and manifesting a desire to be reinstated in the congregation. Then, if the elders felt that it would not disturb the peace and harmony of the congregation nor bring reproach upon God’s people, there would be no objection to an elder’s giving a talk. How are they to know whether Jehovah has already forgiven him or not, since there is some evidence of repentance? Properly, the elders may have been waiting, wanting to make sure that his seeming repentance was sincere.

    Funny how the Elders™ would not have known to Reinstate™ someone whom Jehovah has already forgiven, considering how they are Directed By Holy Spirit™ and all that.

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