Feeling very depressed

by lostlantern 9 Replies latest jw friends

  • lostlantern


    It has been awhile since my last post, my husband and I have been very busy. We are both back in college, very exciting and life is moving in a positive direction. It is break between semesters and I have time to slow down and think. We have had the 'stuff' hit the fan here in the past 6 months and it has been painful. I am feeling the sadness and depression that accompany the loss of family that will not speak to you. No, we have not been D'fd nor have we Disassociated ourselves but non the less we are treated as thus. In fact we didn't even bring up the subjects that started the ensuing storm. Why can't witnesses leave well enough alone. We have been inactive and I guess enough was enough, we had to be questioned by those who love us the most, interrogated for our own good. Of course "conversations and topics" come up and before you know it you are knee deep. Then the gossip train starts and all in your 'blood family' knows of your traitorous behavior and next the brotherhood, all those who have ever known you and of course feel they have the right to know what is going on in your life because they love you like family even if they haven't spoken to you in ages or kept in contact. Oh she was a pioneer, she always did have an independent streak. It makes me sick. I get really perturbed because the conversations I had with my parents were supposedly confidential, now all know. (please excuse me, I have had a drink or two) Anyway moving on.

    Tonight I was looking through photos and the "words" come crushing in. My father says that nothing will ever be the same, I have two brothers that won't even talk to me, won't respond to phone calls or emails, won't even ask if the "rumour's" are true. There is no love or respect, no reaching out or even any regard for the fact that you have always been an upstanding person. I am feeling very depressed and alone, I know I am not alone because you have all felt these feelings but the loss is deafening anyway. I just needed to vent and now I will stop my whining, I just appreciate that I can vent somewhere with people who understand. Thanks.

  • AlmostAtheist

    ((((((Mr. and Mrs. LostLantern))))))

    I'm sorry you have to suffer at the hands of "loving" Christians. It isn't their fault, really, they are following the edicts of their God -- a book club called "The Watchtower". :-(

    Dave of the "had a drink or two" class

  • lostlantern

    Thanks Dave, very good way to put it:

    a book club called "The Watchtower

    If only they could see that it is nothing more than a huge "book club"

  • LoverOfTruth

    It gets better with Time. It takes a while to fill in the missing spaces with new friends. Sometimes a little professional help is Advisable.

  • Rebirth

    lostlantern, I could have written your post, except my husband is still in and supports the shunning that has taken place. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I too tried to avoid the subject of religion so as not to cause conflict. Ya know, they can go years w/o talking about the "truth" w/you on the phone while you obediently attend the meetings and then suddenly you aren't at meetings and your lack of interest in talking about the subject becomes this big sign that you are out. Give me a break! I also got the "so are you going to divorce your husband now?" Yes mom and I'm going to start sacraficing babies to the gods. Give me a break. Take your head out of a Watchtower and think for yourself for one moment. She even admited that I've become less judgmental over the last two years. Gee, could that have anything to do with the fact that I stopped attending meetings 2 1/2 yrs ago??

    I'm so glad to hear that you and your husband are in college! That is awesome and shows that you have your head on straight. Maybe your family will see your life getting better and have an epiphany, that's what I keep my fingers crossed for anyways. In the meantime, I'm sending my best thoughts to you and lots of comforting love.

  • GoingGoingGone


    So sorry you're going through this. I'm glad that you and your husband have each other.

    It does get better with time. But don't let anyone ruin your life. Live it, enjoy it, and cherish every moment of it.

    Your family might change their minds eventually. I hope they do.


  • Abandoned


    This has been a very trying day for me too. I wish you a wonderful christmas.

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Dear Lostlantern,

    Despite your pain, you have expressed yourself poignantly and with clarity. We here know all too well the truth behind your anguished words. As mentioned, you have the benefit of a mate who's on your "side" and by your side. Many of us have been abandoned or turned in by our mates. The treachery of the WT allowance of desertion over "absolute spiritual endangerment" or to be told that the elders' counsel will be chosen over yours, has devastated many of us. Broadening your horizons by going to college will be a boon to your overall outlook. You simply have to take stock of who you are and where you are, and press forward through the present hell. JWs modus operandi, born of good intentions or sheer meddlesomeness, is to keep you in the fold - for your own good. I mentioned in an earlier post that I'm very glad some family resisted my efforts to convert them. They went on with their lives, doing as they darn well pleased just to spite me [I'm joking], and now I'm grateful for that fact.

    "Much of the world's grief was caused by people who claimed that they were only doing their duty." - P.D. James

    "Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction." - B. Pascal

    My strength has come from ongoing reliance upon our Father and His Son, though I do admit that my faith has been shattered and I'm having confusion as to who Jehovah and Jesus are. I surely don't blame them. And JWD has been a lifesaver. We hope you stick around, and like Peter, once you recover, strengthen your "brothers."

    Peace and love to you and your husband,


  • lostlantern

    Thanks for your words of encouragement, they do help. My parents have admitted that my husband and I seem to be happier and get along better than ever. Maybe someday they will make the connection, I keep hoping for them.

    Everybody's support gives me strength, thanks.

  • penny2

    The shunning is a tactic to get you back. They think they are being loving by doing so.


    Thinking of you!!



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