JW Single Parents

by merfi 1 Replies latest jw experiences

  • merfi
    merfi

    How are/were they treated in your cong?

    In ours, there were about three of us, all in very different situations. The first was sorta married (had run off with a wordly guy, DA'd, came back and got RI, had a baby, husband off in Colorado somewhere). Since she had made so many "mistakes", the "friends" were not so quick to help her with much -- no offers to come over for dinner, go to a movie etc. Also no offers to work with her in FS or do anything after meetings. TG her parents were really good to her. Still are (she's DF at present).

    The second 'sister' was (is still I think) the elders' pet. She works for the janitorial service that two of the elders owned. Her kid is babysat by another elder's wife. She's always over at elders' houses 'associating'. She neeeeeds the 'friends' and elders as there is really no way she could make it on her own, financially or emotionally. What I find interesting about this sister is that she flaked for a couple years. Then came back to meeting about the time her husband was cheating on her and she had two young boys...

    The third single parent sister was ... me. The elders didn't like me much. In the process of becoming single, I dropped about 25# on the stress diet :(, my hair I didn't give a crap about so it just grew, I had this weird distant feel going on. I had an awesome FT job so didn't need congregation hand-outs. My kids spent a lot of time with 'wordly' friends and had 'wordly' babysitters when needed; so I didn't need the 'friends' to take care of my kids. I could fix my own damn broken washing machine, went snowpiling in my jeep and was just generally independent because at that time in my life, I *had* to be. So many changes but I had to hold it together for myself and the kids. I didn't rely on anyone else (probably should have, but...) but I didn't WANT to rely on anyone else... Anyway, the way that *I* was then treated was as some sort of floozy threat. lol They harped on every little detail of my dress&grooming (more than a few 'local needs' about that), dissed my jeep... and the invitations to 'work with me in FS' or go 'do something after the meeting' were few and far between (thank god as more than a few times I was hungover in FS Saturday mornings. The backseat with a kid and a over-perfumed older sister on a winter morning and the heater going... ) Admittedly, I didn't 'measure up' to what they wanted me to be (I'd try now and then LOL)... and it was my eventual undoing in this silly religion, how I was treated.

    So then, how are your single parents treated?

    ~merfi

  • Bam412
    Bam412

    Ahh how I miss growing up in the JW religion as a single-parent child!! The hypocrisy that comes out of that religion is unbelievable. All the Watchtower studies about how the single-parent children should be comforted and looked after LOL!!! Reality was that when there was anything untowards going on; namely the elder's daughter going clubbing, or shaggin around; of course it's the single parent child's fault even though they weren't present at the time as they were studying their WT for the next mtg. But if there was any blame to be apportioned well that was my role within the organisation!!

    Good for you for getting away from it, you seem like a sorted woman which elders never like mainly as their wives are alcoholics or valium'd up to the eyeballs and any woman who has half a brain intimidates them. Also if you have children, believe me it's child abuse to bring them up in that religion. I left, partied very hard, travelled, got married and now have a son and although my mother still yearns for the day that I return, she can yearn away, my son is being raised in a normal and healthy way.

    Also if you want to get into another relationship, there isn't the best looking, intellectual fish in that religion!!

    Good luck bella!

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