by stillAwitness 29 Replies latest jw experiences
Moving farther away may help, provided the elders never get your address and phone number. That means withholding your contact information from anyone who would give it to elders. Unless you're willing to do that you will always be ducking their attempts to contact you.
W
They know you haven;t been in service, if you had the congregation where you "are" would have sent for your card already.
Good point, WLG. The secretary would be going crazy hanging onto those time slips for 7 months and no where to post them.
When I meet and met JWs after I stopped attending meetings or going d2d, if they asked what congregation I was going to I would tell them I wasn't. If they asked why, I would tell them it was personal between me and God, then changed the topic. Actually, most don't ask. Especially if they go to the congregation I last attended and know I didn't switch.
But, Stilla, unless you change your phone number and don't give it to your parents, is the only way you can keep it from the elders. You know your mother will give it them even if you ask her not to.
Ask yourself what do I think will happen if my parents (mother) finds out I'm not going. Make a plan how you will handle that emotionally. Look at what emotional support you have instead.
Blondie
Well, as everybody else has said you are going to have to either finally face the music or continue the lie. I would suggest you just get it over with, the longer you hide the truth the more you will upset the ones you love by not being honest with them.
The advice on just maybe attending a few meetings so that I can get my card sent over sounds like a good idea. Then just stop going so that they will simply assume I am "weak" But there is that risk that the elders in the new hall will be just as bad as any elder and start being more persistent then I would like them to be. I will need to face the music. I am 23 now so there is nothing left to do but start being honest. How and when I do it is another story..
Then just stop going so that they will simply assume I am "weak" But there is that risk that the elders in the new hall will be just as bad as any elder and start being more persistent then I would like them to be.
Yeah, but if you pull of the weak thing good enough, you'll be golden cuz nothing scares a "faithful" jw more than bad associations.
You cant be d/f for being inactive. You can for living with a guy, and also if you say you no longer believe in the WTS.
I recommend telling your mother that you are having a bit of a break. Don't go into detail, just say it is all a bit much at the moment. Don't even bother returning the elders calls. The reason is that if you say you have doubts her and the elders will get on your back. One thing will lead to another and you run the risk of them finding out more than is safe. However in 3 or 4 years time they will be less likely to bother you and far less likely to d/f you, as you will no longer be considered a known member of any congregation.
Go to the hall Sat. mornings for service, but have a 'study' to go to instead. Then go home and study your collage courses
WHAT DO I DO? Just come right out and tell my family I am not attending meetings anymore? Can I be D'F for that or do I have to do something outright bad?
Stillawitness, it may not be the same where you are but I have told my kids and grandkids, also a friend [I thought] who said she would save me a seat if I decided to come back. I told them all I was never coming back and that has been about 3 years. They [not even the elders ] have bothered me since. And my family still speaks to me. Someday they may decide to DF me but it looks good so far.
Hang in there!
I thought this post was full of good advice, see what you think:
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/120885/1.ashx
Cheers
Baba.
Play a fun game with the cards. Call a hall that you wouldn't be assigned to and say that you're living in the area and get the contact info to transfer your cards there. Wait a little while then get them transfered to another hall. Eventually your cards will land in a hall and they will have no idea where you live and it's too much of an effort to track down your current info. If you want to keep the double life up, periodically look at the forums to see what the "burning issue" is and pro actively call up your parents to discuss it. Every hall has a different sunday talk so you can make up topics. "Hey mom, we just had a great talk about marriage. It's so good that we have the society's literature to help us" Make a note to find out where your district assembly will be because they will ask this. You can keep this up forever really if you want to, but you need to get your cards out of the old hall into someone else's hands. Then you are golden.
