Leaving the WTS: more toxic for some

greendawn

Why is it that some dubs leave the WTS with little harm done to them while others feel they have suffered great or even irreversible harm? I suppose the length of time one has been in plays a part the longer one stayed in and the more one invested in the org the worse the sense of loss since after leaving everything laboured for is cruelly written off. Also leaving behind family members will be more difficult than for one who had no JW family or friends.

Fe2O3Girl

Maybe it is because some XJWs have had little long term harm done, and others have suffered terribly.

Posters who have lost spouses, children or grandchildren to the blood policy have been harmed. Posters who were abused and silenced have been harmed. Posters who have lost their families through shunning have been harmed.

I got off very lightly - no long term damage to my life and I still have my family.

zeroday

I only had 2 cousins that were JW's and they live 2200 miles from me. I did reconnect with a cousin (sister to the 2) that was DF'ed 25 years ago. The emotional toll was hard on me. I lived in constant fear of death for 28 years feeling I was never living up to the great Jehober. Now I have no fear of a deity. Don't believe in them anymore.

parakeet

"Why is it that some dubs leave the WTS with little harm done to them while others feel they have suffered great or even irreversible harm?"

Depends on the variables in the person's situation, some of which are -- whether they were JWs since birth, their character traits, age when leaving, reason for leaving, presence of mental illness in family, financial situation, whether spouse and/or children are involved, whether cong/elders are lenient or hard-core, severity of shunning, and many more.

greendawn

Ex Dubs that gave a lot to the org or had their families divided will obviously have more bitterness towards the cult. It may also be a matter of temperament some people are by nature very resilient and bounce back quickly others are less creative in casting off the spell of the WTS. It's hard to have all your offerings to the org deleted with one stroke and no longer recognized.

drew sagan

Some have more attachment to their religous systems than others. It just depents upon the person and the circumstance, as well as what they do afterwards.

I know one family who spent a long time in the org and had a terribly tough time coming out, but they are all very happy now. Their personal Christian faith has given them much comfort.

So i guess it's not just who you are and how you leave, but what you do afterwards can also effect your attitude.

Star Moore

Hi Greendawn..

Good thought.. I think it's vital for a person to make sure he understands completely that the Wt is not God's channel. I also think it's vital to make sure in your mind, everyday, as it's process, where one keeps slipping back into the brainwashing. I was in and very active for 26 years.. So, I had to keep reaffirming the reasons, over and over.

Frannie Banannie

I think that if a person had strong faith in the WTS belief and practice system and then experienced the crushing of that faith by the extreme lack of love and hypocrisy of the WTS members, perhaps against one's family or perhaps even BY one's own family and then finding out that the WTS publications and teachings were lies, that could weigh in strongly as reasons for someone feeling they've been profoundly wronged.

Think about it. The person suffering has a multitude of close friends and acquaintances for possibly decades. They have a strong faith and have done everything they can to measure up to nearly impossible standards. In spite of this, they've been hounded, spied on, ridiculed, and their family persecuted by the local BOE. Finally, this person decides to stand up for themselves and their family that's been persecuted and takes a stand against the hypocrisy and extreme lack of love. Suddenly whole groups of people they thought of as friends no longer acknowledge their existence, their faithfulness has been trashed and they're standing alone. Life as this person knows it has ended.

On the other hand, some people were hornswaggled into the WTS or were raised in it but never took it seriously from the beginning. No great loss there.

Frannie

Leaving the WTS: more toxic for some

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