Well it's been almost a year since our move to a new area to begin our *offcial* fade.
My issue of late has been my 8 year old daughter. This is a kid who has been an old soul since birth. Very perceptive. She knows something has been wrong this past year and we've talked to her here and there about things but ya know - how much can you really explain to an 8 year old? We are starting to notice signs that things are really affecting her.
She brought home a story from school this week about how if she could fly she would fly back home and see Gxxxxx, Cxxxxxx, Gxxxx, etc. (all people and family members who are actively shunning us and sending passive aggressive letters and info. to our kids. we haven't given them that stuff though.) She is a real people pleaser and she would probably go back to meetings just to please these JW family members if the choice were hers.
I am going to try to talk to her about this stuff this week and give her more info. and details about things but I really want to try to ask her some thought-provoking questions. Can any of you give me some questions that I can ask her so that I can have her draw her own conclusions on the matter? I don't want to bash the jw family members but I am also going to let her know that what they are doing is very wrong in my opinion.
thanks in advance....
I need some help with this......
by freedomloverr 6 Replies latest social family
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freedomloverr
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AuldSoul
You could play the "Would you still love me if...?" game, and switch it up with "Would you still talk to me if...?" and "Would you still be my friend if...?"
Some of it could be wild and silly and some could touch on pertinent questions. That could give the framework later for a discussion about how some religions teach people NOT to love each other "if..."
Just an idea.
Respectfully
AuldSoul -
daystar
I think Auldsoul has a great idea. Play the game for a few days before broaching the real subject.
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megsmomma
I have an 8 yr old too. She lives with her JW dad and step-mom. I am having a hard time knowing what to say to her also, I can't really go to into things with her yet, but I am trying to plant little seeds that will hopefully pave the way for some big conversations when she is older. One thing I wish I could do with her now though is get out the Bible story book, or the new book for kids and go to the page depicting Armegeddon. It is a horrific scene. Then I would ask her "do you think Jehovah would kill all these people.....people like (name people you know who aren't JW's)?" Then say "well....I didn't think so either. Tell her you found that the bible teaches something different than what the JW's were teaching.....and that you believe the bible over what some religion teaches. John 3:16 says EVERYONE who believes in him will not perish....I think that may help get her thinking in a different direction.
On a side note, when I was in therapy, I told my therapist that I wasn't sure what all to tell my daughter at only 8 years old, and she said it is the perfect time to be really straight up with them. So explain what you have learned about the organization and let her know that even though there are lots of people you love in the org still....you can't belong to a group that lies, and you can pary with her to help the people you love find their way out too.
I feel for you!! ((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))
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freedomloverr
wow. thanks for the advice and PMs.
megsmomma:
you are right. I think I do need to be straight up with her. I remember being her age and my parents were getting divorced and no one would tell me what was going on. It made me so mad and sad. I hate to crush her sense of innocence though.
I hate this f'ing cult so damn much. -
becca1
I would:
Not bash other witness
Be honest about why we no longer go to meetings (not to involved, just simple facts).
Be honest about why the others shun us, but say it's not their fault, they are just doing what they've been taught.
Have lots of fun family time.
Allow her to make friends at school and the neighborhood, and encourage her to join clubs, teams, dance lessons (whatever interests her).
Work hard at keeping the emotional atmosphere in the home calm and stress free.
Tell her that when she grows up she will be free to join any religion she wants, even JW's, and that you will always be there for her to love and support her.
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mama1119
Auld Soal and Becca have great advice. I think making it a game to start out with is a great idea, it will probably get a better reaction from her. And just give her little bits at a time.