(not so) True Hollywood Story: Fred from Scooby-Doo

by Funchback 8 Replies latest social entertainment

  • Funchback
    Funchback

    Originally cast as the brawny male lead for the cast of Scooby Doo, Fred never lived up to the billing. Rich with movie star good looks, Fred quickly fell in love with himself.

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    "Rit rwas apparent that Fred rwas not ronly good rooking, but that he ralso rwas.....um.....different", said a former co-star who chooses to remain nameless.
    Says Daphne, "We started to notice subtle differences in Fred soon after he ate a can of Hormel chili. One time, he insisted on putting colorful collars on some guest star puppies".


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    "Yeah, and like I remember the time when Fred, like, insisted on having a 'Scooy's Rainbow' machine displayed prominently on the set", says former friend and co-star Shaggy.

    "One time me and Daphne made sexual advances toward him, but this made him very uncomfortable", Velma said.

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    Then, one episode in 1984, found the Harlem Globetrotters making a guest appearance.

    When Curly Neal first laid eyes on Fred, he knew right away what Freddy didn't outwardly admit: "Ooh! That many is gay! And he was a fiiine something something!"

    And Curly Neal knew something else: "I knew that I wanted that man from the jump! And, in my heart of hearts, I knew he wanted me, too!"

    But, there was one problem: "Fred was secretly dating the construction guy from the Village People. So, he rejected my offer of love and a lifetime of pleasure...Fred told me no!"

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    Then, on October 19, 1985, tragedy struck the lives of the cast of Scooby Doo, and Fred's life was changed forever.
    Curly took steps to lure Fred and his date to the locker room after a Globetrotter performance, so that the contruction guy could meet the team.

    Thinking they were in for a mildly fun night with the Globetrotters, Freddy and his pal never saw what was coming next.

    This photo, taken from a locker room security camera, doesn't show Fred, because he was already on the ground. It turned out that the entire Globetrotter team was gay. Yes, they often ate Hormel products, this is why they "became" gay. And they wanted sweet revenge for their buddy Curly Neal.

    Filled with crazed passion in their eyes, one by one they had their way with poor Fred. All the construction guy could do was watch in horror...and envy.

    "I wish they had done that to me instead of with Fred. It was awful. Beyond awful. It changed Fred forever! Those bastards deserve to rot in prison!", a still sobbing construction guy uttered.

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    Life wasn't the same for Fred. He stopped eating Hormel products. He tried to be a tough guy.

    But, it didn't work. Deep down inside, he was gay. Very gay.

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    Turning to drugs and alcohol to mask his pain, Fred began to isolate his co-stars.

    Often high or drunk on the set, the producers became increasingly annoyed with his antics.

    "Fred was *censored* up. He insisted that Velma was really a man, or at least a lesbian. And he chastised her until she walked out of her contract", says Mr. Barbera.
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    Shortly after this unfortunate occurence, the shows ratings began to drop, and eventuallly it was canceled.

    Fred is reportedly working for Hormel, and is reportedly dating Sponge Bob. He was recently quoted as saying that "Sponge Bob has a lot of holes to fill!".

    "I can say one positive thing that came out of all of this for me", says Velma. "He gave me the courage to 'come out'."

  • Stephanus
    Stephanus

    Having watched every episode of Scooby Doo, Where Are You? at least 20 times, I've got to observe: For a supposed gay guy, Fred seemed to take every opportunity to have his hand on Daphne's bottom!

  • Wasanelder Once
    Wasanelder Once

    Another example of a heartless outing of a hollywood gay person. How insensitive. Oh the humanity! Nice outfit though.

    W.Once

  • katiekitten
    katiekitten

    Fred?? GAY???

    You heartless bar-steward. You have shattered my childhood dream.

    (curse Spam)

  • free2beme
    free2beme

    That was odd. What is up with the slam of Hormel products? Anyway, Fred did wear a scarf on his neck.

  • lovelylil
    lovelylil

    Don't you get it?.........Someone posted the other day that Hormel chilli is made by Gay people. Thus, I guess it makes you homosexual if you eat it and some Fundy Christians will not eat it. That was funny! Lilly

  • ScoobySnax
    ScoobySnax

    Hmmmmmm............

  • free2beme
    free2beme

    Oh, I did not catch to post on Hormel. I was wondering if it was some inside joke. I still think the scarf told a lot about Fred though.

  • Funchback
    Funchback

    Sorry you had to learn about this through the media, ScoobySnax.

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