I like myself in a healthy way, I really do! That's how my parents raised me. But I wound up in a "I hate myself and I'm a miserable slimey worm that deserves to be annihilated" cult! LMAO! Luckily, I still like myself. But I see now that almost anybody can be led almsot anywhere. Okay, yeah, I'm not susceptible (sic?) to religious quackery anymore, which is good. But still, the whole Dub mess is an excellent object lesson in Weird Psychology 101.
I love life prety much, I really do! That's how I was raised. But I wound up in a "everything sucks bigtime and theres no hope so hurry up Jehovah God and burn it down" cult! Nah, I'm not wearing any rose colored glasses now. I haven't swung to the opposite extreme. Still, life is what it is and some of the things it is is interesting and fun and worhtwhile. But not according to our old pal GB! Hey GB, give us the scoop on life." "Fulminations of doom, darkness, pillars of smoke, flame and death, misery and malcontents" I blink at myself now and go "huh?"
I'm fairly intelligent, not a dummy (not a genius either), but I wound up in a "There really was a talking demon-possessed snake and two magic trees" cult! LMAO! HOW DID I DO THAT??? I figure my brain has a dimmer switch and the GB figured out how to twist the knob without me noticing! "Gabble gabble gabble." hey, that sounds very reasonable GB! What else do you have to teach me? "Gabble gabble gabble." Really? How cool is that! Tell me more! "Gabble gabble gabble." You don't say? "Gabble gabble gabble."
My parents are fairly level headed and not ones to lose their tempers all over the place, so neither am I. But I wound up in a "The Supreme Being is so totally miffed that He (gotta be a He because let's face it most violent crime is caused by guys) is going to pop his cork and go off like July Fourth at Disneyland"cult! "Any minute now Jehovah's gonna blow his stack...any minute now...any second..okay he He comes..no wait...yeah there He is..look out..here He comes...the big kablooie...nope..any second now...any second now...LMAO at this too! Why would I fall for this "God is totally pissed" junk? But I did! Hey GB, what's up with that? "Don't piss me off kid."
There is just NO WAY you could get me to be a door-to-door salesman! I grew up thinking "Now THAT is a one sucky job." But I became a Doorknocker 4 God! I sold embarrasingly stupid mags for The Supreme Being! At least, I thought that's what I was doing. My parents looked at me like maybe I'd been switched at birth for their real kid. Can you blame them? I can't! Hey GB, was I switched at birth? "Come back tomorrow when the light is brighter."
I like to think for myself! That's how I was raised! But I wound up in a "Leave the thinking to us" cult! Okay, so it was thinking for myself that also got me out of the jam, but still I shopped at "Zombies R Us" and bought stock in the company! "Now be a good little Obedient One and turn off your brain...lower..lower..thats it..good boy. Now isn't life much better when someone tells you what to think?" "Ummm...well...actually..." "That's a good little Obedient One." "Ummmmm, about that last issue of the Tower with the article about Jehovah's Mighty Hammer and my head being the anvil, I didn't really get it." "Oh, you will, you will." "Gee, thanks GB!" "Welcome G."
I hate backstabbers! We all do! But I joined The Backstabbers Army, sort of like The Salvation Army only different and totally messed UP. Instead of a Santa Suit you wear a cruddy K-Mart blue light special two piece ugly dumb knock-off of a business suit. Instead of ringing a bell you ring...doorbells! Instead of taking in money you...huh..take in money plus give a lot of your own money. Man that REALLY sux! Okay, yeah, I got off topic. Backstabbers and backstabbing. Did your cong have an elaborate system of spys? Mine did. You couldn't say "I think GB might be barmy here and there" without it being reported. Hey GB, whats up with that? "Speak directly into the micophone please."
So, all in all, in summation and etc, furtherrmore and in conclusion and whatnot, IT WAS THE WORST EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE! Proberly yours too.