I need advice

by poodlehead 6 Replies latest jw friends

  • poodlehead

    I have a 14 year old son who lives with his father a JW and his step mother JW who grew up as a witness. My Ex-husband is fairly well off but his father and family have done very well for them selves. The way they pass money down is into the next of kin and when that person dies the next down the line gets it. So the money that my sons grandfather has will go to his father and then to him when he dies. His grandfather is not a Witness, but tries to understand. What I am worried about is I can see that my son once 18 or maybe sooner if he decides to move in with me, will leave JW's. He want's to go to College, and become a Movie director. Not exactly what witness kids dream of, or are allowed to dream about. IfA he does do this he is likely to get nothing of his grandfathers money. I have tried to get my son to tell his grandfather that his father does not want him to go to college, but he is scared it will get back to his dad. They are getting up there, and I am worried..

    And the last thing I would want to see happen is my husband dying and it all going to his new wife. Which could happen. I have a hard time talking to my ex. Can anyone think of some idea.

    If you think I am worring for nothing and my Ex-husband would never dis-inherit my son, just for leaving the JW's tell me so.

  • outoftheorg

    Based on what you wrote, I would go direct to the grandfather and explain this to him and then drop the subject with the child or the father.


    PS If the grandfather will accept this a trust is more flexable and protective than a will.

  • AudeSapere

    Oh, he can absolutely be disinherited. It's been done before and it will be done again.

    Could you talk to the grandfather on your son's behalf? Re-assure him that you are not asking for yourself but merely to protect your son's interests?


  • poppers

    I would encourage your son to follow his dreams and let the chips fall where they may. The prospect of inheritance under certain conditions only puts an anchor around one's neck.

  • Wasanelder Once
    Wasanelder Once

    I would say that your son could well drop subtle hints to his Gramps that he may not be able to go to College if his Dad has his way. He is not too young to be talking about it now and then. Did Granfather go to College? Perhaps your boy could ask him which one he attended and what he studied. If your boy talks to a school counselor he could always talk to Gramps about his conversation. Sort of come at it round the corner like. Did your ex go to college?

    I don't know what your ex will do as far as inheritance goes. If he loves his son it shouldn't be an issue. If his wife becomes a widow she will only get what he leaves her. Is he smart enough to have a will? IF he does I'm sure he'll look out for his boy.

    If you're smart you would buy your son a digital movie camera and tell him to start playing with it now. That's what Spielberg did, with an 8mm camera of course. The cameras are cheap these days. It would be a good move for him and at the very least he'll have all sorts of memorys on tape when he's older. Its great fun. I have a friend who went to Longbeach State here in CA. He works for Sony Pictures now. He's working on a script, like many others, but has some connections. Hope all goes well for your boy. Have him look at atomfilms.com if he wants to see the things that people are doing with their cameras these days. Many of these films are by film students.

    I'm sure your boy will be fine if he just sticks to his goals, I hope so anyway.

    Tell your son to start talking up College around Gramps in a low key manner.


  • uwishufish

    If your Ex has no will (dies intestate) His issue (son) is given a portion of the estate.

    This happened to my wife. Mom died first, dad remarries, dad dies no will, His property was divided among his new wife and his children by the court.

  • penny2

    What people do with their money is their business. Don't clutter your son's head with hypotheticals which may subconsciously motivate him to stay in the jw world longer. Just encourage him to follow his dreams - with hopefully some practical advice which he won't get from his dad.

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