Douse the Mouse by Brandon Burt
Mickey Mouse is alive and well, at least as far as the folks at Disney are concerned—and they should know. According to some prankster, however, the famous rodent is not only dead, but also eligible to be baptized, endowed and sealed (with wife Minnie) in the LDS Church Temple.
While conducting an investigation into the extensive genealogical database operated by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, researcher Helen Radkey discovered records detailing the mouse’s family tree—complete with clearance for temple ordinances.
According to LDS Church doctrine, since some never receive the opportunity to become Mormons during their lives, church members may engage in rituals like “baptism for the dead,” to allow benighted souls to posthumously convert.
We doubt a cartoon mouse would ever be baptized, even by proxy, but the fact that some random ne’er-do-well was able to enter Mickey’s record into the database seems to indicate that system security is not what it should be.
Fortunately, church authorities found a way to maintain some control—according to Radkey, after she made her discovery, they banned her Monday from the libraryhttp://www.slweekly.com/article.cfm/dousethemouse