I was just stopping by to give an update on how I've been doing, for those of you who did read snippets of my mind and my experience here.
I'm sorry to report that my life has taken a turn for the worse these past months. Some things I've learned or understood about life since I was a poster here have been difficult to adjust to. For those of you who long for intellectual understanding, I wish you could see what I see. The understanding of life is like a blinding light in its brilliant complexity, but too much of that beam and you get scorched.
Reminds me of:
"Come away oh human child
To the waters and the wild
With a faery hand in hand
For the world's more full of weeping
Than you can understand"
Though of course I don't really believe in a God now, it's reminiscent of the biblical imaginings of the energy from the face of God being too much to bear for us mere mortals. Perhaps I'll write a paper sometime about these things. For those of you who long for happiness, don't read the sort of things that people like me might write, or if you do don't believe it. Spend more of your time trying to be close to other people, and don't try too hard to figure out how everything works or why things are the way they are or why people are the way they are. Just believe in something positive and be as simple as you can. Wish I could follow my own advice, but I'm at a loss of how to for now.
Too curious for my own good I suppose. I guess you could say the old software isn't very compatible with the new and my body is rejecting it. I've experienced relentless anxiety leading to panic attacks and other serious complications making it difficult to survive, literally. I do have some plans now in attempting to reclaim my life.
So I'm just hanging on now you guys, just barely.
Wish me luck.
Best wishes to you all.
Status Report- Sentient
((( sentient )))
I wish things were better for you. I too figured out that it was better not to be too intelligent. Life's a lot easier.
Sentient, I do hope you can find the peace you need.
In my case, I found it in freedom. When I stop to consider how much more free my life is now than when I was a JW, a feeling of peace and inner strength washes over me.
Here's to hoping you find yours.
For those of you who long for intellectual understanding, I wish you could see what I see.
Thankfully those of blunter intellect will fail to recognise the slight.
Forgive my asperger humour, and good luck.
<<I've experienced relentless anxiety leading to panic attacks and other serious complications making it difficult to survive, literally.>>
These will pass in time,
<<I do have some plans now in attempting to reclaim my life. >>
Good, hang on to them, I hope you find peace soon.