Her friend is on her way to being DF'd

by kgav8r 5 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  kgav8r

  Well, it has been a long week and a half. Things are nearing normalcy. I fear that something more may happen. As of late, Lynda(my GF) and Gracy (her "sister") have been hanging out a lot. No big deal to me, but for those of you who don't know, Lynda has been DF'd. Saturday night, an elder from Gracy and Lynda's Hall saw the two together. Now there is going to be a meeting (a Judicial matter i am told) on Wednesday to decide what to do with Gracy. In all likelyhood, Gracy will be "marked." If things progress and she, too, is disfellowshipped, as i fear, this will spell the end of my relationship with Lynda. I cannot and will not compete with Gracy. For those of you who have no clue what i am talking about, here is a link to my story: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/116414/1.ashx

  Not really sure what my question is or if there even is one. Just kind of venting. I know there are others on this board with far greater problems than I. Feel free to comment, though. Kind of interested in everyone's take on my story.

  --KG
• 

  Swan

  I know there are others on this board with far greater problems than I.

  Maybe, but your problems are pretty big too!

  I'm so sorry you and Lynda and Gracie are going through this. It is not easy to leave a religious cult, and those on the outside often feel powerless in helping their loved ones go through this process. Patience and willingness to listen are one of the best things you can do right now.

  I don't understand the part about competing with Gracie, though. Why do you feel that you would be competing?

  Tammy
• 

  Odrade

  From all appearances, Gracy and Lynda have an extremely co-dependent relationship. Now that Lynda is df'd, Gracy is using it as competition with kgav8r, by letting Lynda drag her down and get her disfellowshipped. I do NOT see this as a "sticking by her friend" situation, and as it plays out, seems like Gracy will be laying on the guilt trip. "You got me disfellowshipped, this never would have happened if you had given up your bf, now you have to help me get reinstated, by doing it with me, and that means giving up your bf."
  Is that what you mean kgav8r? Either way, I am sorry for you. Gracy and Lynda don't seem to be healthy for each other, no matter how devoted to each other they are. And their relationship muddies the waters, so it seems like you may not have an opportunity to help Lynda get out of the Org intact, because of the developing situation with Gracy's possible df'ing, and the confusion and guilt that is going to create with Lynda. :(
• 

  kgav8r

  
  Gracie and Lynda are so close. Even though Gracie has her own house now, she sleeps over every night at Lynda's. Gracie is way too attached to Lynda, she won't let Lynda have her own time. Everytime we go out, everytime, Gracie either calls or texts. Then half an hour later when the food is cold, we get to continue with the evening. If they were on the phone, Gracie immediately texts after she hangs up. Like i said in previous threads, she is more like a second child than a sister. It's like having a growth that won't go away. I always feel like she is with us, and she is in one form or another. Even during movies, Gracie texts or calls just to see what's going on or whatever burning questions she has that just can't hold on another hour and a half to be answered. I just wan't my time, our time. It's something we rarely get. So, in that respect, it's like a competition. I'm competing for the affection and i'm losing. I just can't compete and win, Lynda has known Gracy longer.

  --KG
• 

  Odrade

  PS: you are wise not to fall into the trap of competing with Gracy. That would be a serious wedge in your relationship, even if you did "win."
• 

  Swan

  Oh dear. That is a bigger problem.

  You are wise to set boundaries as to Gracie's intrusions. It is also wise not to try to compete with her, as that would be unhealthy for you as well as them. Perhaps Lynda will see that.

  Do the new benefits from that new job include therapy, by any chance? I think Lynda could benefit from some real counseling sessions to help unravel the damage her religion has caused.

  Tammy