Why now?

by PaulMarshall 3 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • PaulMarshall

    Since finding this forum. I have so far last two days work. The shear volume of responses I have had from my initial posting and the emails, some of which made me shed tears, coupled with some incredibly stimulating conversation on line I have had with dubs (I love that word) have left me with a back log of things to do. But hey who cares!

    I have been asked why now Paul? Why after 18 years since you DA’d have you decided to actually taken the step to actively pursue ex witnesses? I realised during one of my conversations with a newfound friend that I only ever walked away from the organisation. I have never tried to actually understand the belief system I was born into from a pragmatic stance. Anyone who has grown up in the “truth” will understand the notion that it is either the organisation or Satan and that you never learn about the origins of the organisation to the point of being bale to make an informed decision.

    This is the first time I have started to actually walk away from my belief system, even though for years it has been very much in a denial capacity. i.e. if somehow I can rinse the truth from my thoughts and lose the debilitating guilt that often holds me back to this day. What then? So what if there is the real possibility that the JW’s are wrong? How do I make sense of what I see around me? Is Armageddon on the horizon? I don’t know. What I do know is I want to now look at all the facts and not just the polished version I was spoon-fed.

    Out of the mouths of babes is all well and good, but I want to some grown up spiritual food now.

    Paul - London and coming in from the cold

  • Gill

    Paul - It seems you can't just walk physcially away from the bOrg to be free, you have to do it mentally as well. Still, it takes a long, long time.

    I found reading up on pre history, ancient history, and especially JW history , extremely enlightening. I think that I am beginning to see the big picture, a little better and it's pretty amazing. I accept that we die, though that took a little time as I was a 'born in, brainwashed fool', and I accept we don't know what happens at death for sure. Maybe another great, or even not so great journey?

    Whatever, you can't be free, until your mind breaks free and one day, you just NEED to know what it really is all about, or at least what it really is all about for you.

    Good Luck in your journey. It's fun to find out. It's even better to be FREE!

  • mouthy

    You may have told us before but because I have "sometimers" I forgot Have you read "Crises of Conscience"???? I find that book helped so many come free mentally

    Good luck Paul ((((HUG))

  • Sirona

    I met someone a little while back who had been "out" for about as long as you, and he simply wasn't ready to even discuss the JWs. He became very angry at mention of them. So I say good for you that you are now tackling any issues which may have been beneath the surface.



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