My contingency plan did not work out today!!!

by AK - Jeff 9 Replies latest jw friends

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    The elders have made another effort this week to corner me - without success I might snicker.

    But I had a hunch that they would show up today while I was mowing the yard and the g-kids were in the pool we set up in the yard today - and there would be no hiding that we were home. So I laid in a contingency plan for that.

    Part of it entailed the extreme heat we had in the afternoon here - it was brutal and the humidity was worse. It was clearly a three-beer afternoon to mow the yard.

    The Plan; to make them sit in the patio area while I changed into some clean clothes. Then when I appeared, maybe 20 minutes later, to offer them a cold beer to drink. By now, sitting in the heat with the suits on, they would be ready. But alas, they would be 'on duty' and so would have to decline whilst they watched me down a nice cold one in the 'small talk' portion of the match.

    Then it would be time for them to 'serve'. I would return the initial serve with a stinging volley of my own questions about the unloving attitude they had personally shown toward myself and my family while we were in borgdom. Heavy emphasis would be on John 13:35 which I planned on reading from thier own copy of the Bible while I drank my brewsky. With each attempt to 'serve' I would volley back to the net with a hot question that put them on the hotseat again. I would never let them in charge of the conversation. And I would never state anything that would be constued as proof of my 'apostate' leanings. I would avoid that with the oldest Watchtower trick in the book - Ad Hominem attacks on the men sitting there, by now as hot as a 14 year old pubert at the XXX theatre, and with no beer in their hands to cool down with.

    At the moment when they began to feel that I would have to let them speak, I was planning on announcing that I had urgent business to attend to - move to my car and leave them sitting in my patio with the look of a schoolboy just dropped by the head chearleader. Then I would pull away with a honk and a smile.

    But alas the bastards did not show today. End of story.


  • Confession

    LOL! I like your plan, Jeff. In fact, I really like the idea of having a plan in such an event. Would've been great, wouldn't it?

  • Purza
    But alas the bastards did not show today.

    Maybe they were enjoying a backyard bbq.

    I liked your plan though.


  • damselfly

    Don't you just hate it when you're all ready to go and then nothing?!
    It sounds like a smashing plan and hopefully you'll get to use it soon.


  • lonelysheep

    LMAO Jeff! I love your plan!

    Maybe they were enjoying a backyard bbq.

    After all, it is Tuesday, and everyone is off!

  • candidlynuts

    yeah a lot of the "friends" have bbq's on the 4th of july.. not independence day celebrations..just gatherings cuz everyones off work.. lol

  • Poztate
    It was clearly a three-beer afternoon to mow the yard.

    That sounds like the most important part of any contingency plan.

    I can see it in my mind's eye. Hot sweaty elders dressed up in suits and ties just dying in the heat while you crack a cold one and talk to them. It almost sounds like persecution to me...

  • rassillon

    sounds awesome!

    I guess you won either way.

    beer, that is how they should get you, come to your house bearing beer gifts. You would be powerless, well I would be anyway.

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    Well - off to post the BOE Porn letter on the KH door. I want the morning service group to have something to talk about.

    Perhaps they could formulate perverted questions to ask during the Porn hearings that will ensue with this letter? Nothing like worthwhile 'theocratic activity' to stir up ones desire to 'effect righteousness' by asking perverted questions of a horny young MS or Elder who got caught with his hand in the pot so to speak.


  • serendipity
    Well - off to post the BOE Porn letter on the KH door. I want the morning service group to have something to talk about.

    lol @ Jeff. You're so bad!

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