A good comeback...

by Justice-One 3 Replies latest jw friends

  • Justice-One

    On two ocassions I have been asked very unfeeling questions by "the friends." I have been inactive for more than 10 years, but my wife is still brainwashed and my Mom was very faithful to say the least. When my Dad passed away his body was cremated according to his wishes. And even though he could have been buried in Arlington, (He was a highly decorated WW2 Vet) his wish was to just have his ashes scattered, and to not have a service. Really, what choice did he have without throwing a wrench into the family he loved. Anyway, I kept his ashes for almost a year while trying to get the family together. (We live from coast to coast and north to south.) During this time my Father-In-Law who is also a "true believer" asked me if I thought my Dad was gone forever. I told him that I no longer talk about what I believe with anyone. (BTW, as a side note, not 3 weeks after I held my Dad's hand as he passed, I was at the Hall sitting beside my Mom. I was there to comfort her, not to listen to the drivel. An Elder was sitting beside me, and I guess he noticed me making my business plans for the coming week in my planner. After the song he turns to me and says..."why do you bother coming if your not going to pay attention?" My blood pressure must have hit new highs as I calmly said...."when I think of a reason, I'll let you know.")

    Then my Mom passed. I took it VERY HARD. I traveled across the country to arrange the memorial for her at her Hall. After the memorial my Brother-In-Law comes up to me while I'm standing in the front greeting my Moms friends, and says..."So, do you think those ashes are all thats left? Do you think you'll see your Mom again?" My response was "This is the wrong time to talk about what I think."

    But after some reflection, the next time someone questions me about the religion, I think I'm going to say...."Please don't question me about my beliefs, and I won't pick out the flaws in yours." I'm so sick of these people. After my Mom passed it was like all the relatives got together to formulate a plan to get me back. Basically it ended with "you know your Mom is going to be looking for you in the new system. It will break her heart if your not there." I loved my Mom. I still get broken up from time to time, but the last time my wife said this to me, I told her that that if that was the case, there was nothing I could do about it....and then I added that if she and her family did not quit pulling this crap on me, that I would no longer even go to the Hall on Sunday's with her...which I do about once a month, just to keep her happy.

  • Legolas

    Sorry about your mom and dad

    ...."Please don't question me about my beliefs, and I won't pick out the flaws in yours."

    That is an excellent come back!


    I am sorry about your mom and dad. I went through a very similar experience during my mom's memorial service. That chapter is next on the My story thread and the main reason why I have not begun that chapter. There is a lot of pain still pent up in me of that entire chapter in my life.

  • parakeet

    What a terrible experience. Such insensitive and cruel comments during the traumatic experience of losing your parents and trying to carry out their wishes. It's stories like these that reinforce my determination never to go to another JW funeral, even for family members. I'll pay my respects privately and then go away and grieve privately. If the rest of my family and the cong think badly of me for that, so what? They think badly of me anyway. I'm not going to endure any more of their heartless treatment. They had at me for long enough when I was a kid.

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