It doesn't make sense?

by acadian 7 Replies latest social family

  • acadian

    It doesn't make sense?

    In July 2005 my daughter gave birth to twin girls, and to make a long story short, the father, her husband walked out and abandon them about two weeks ago, ( playing video games, were more important to him, than caring for his babies ) they were living in my home paying no rent so they could save enough to get their own place.
    My daughter and grand kids are still living with us, and I love it!
    That's the basic background.

    Here's what doesn't make any sense to me.
    My daughter went to apply for assistance "food stamps" and she's not a deadbeat mom she does have a job working about 20-30 hrs a week right now, until she can find something with more hrs. (she wants to work)

    The social worker told her she can't get food stamps because she doesn't work enough hrs per week, ...What?

    That's right, they told her she needs to get a second job, hello who's going to watch the kids, the grand parent's work too.
    (I work at home, and I do watch the girls when mom is working, but at the expense of my work, but I do enjoy watching my grand daughter's better than work that's for sure!).

    Oh, we'll pay for childcare! Now wait a minute! She has to work two jobs, and they'll pay for childcare.

    Hey, here's an idea! Why not, just pay my daughter to watch her own children rather than pay for some one else to raise her kid's.
    And that way my daughter will get to see her girls for more than a couple of hrs a day.

    The States method is to pay twice as much, and have other people raise our children.
    Rather than paying once and saving taxpayer's money. My daughter wants to work and be independent but at this point, with her husband abandoning her it's very difficult.

    My feeling is Screw the "State", we'll take care of the problem, which is what we have been doing to this point, but we raised a very independent woman. She feels were helping enough by letting her live at our house rent free, paying for what we can, like diapers and such, even though our income is limited. We have already canceled unnecessary services like cable, our long distance phone service, and have cut back in other areas.

    In my opinion the "States" only objective is to disrupt families and waste money, and this policy of theirs seems to prove that.

    I've been paying taxes for over 35 yrs and receive no benefits from the "State".
    Only rules and regulations on how we should live our lives, but no benefits.

    So where's the help when you need it?

    Their ideas of help, suck! Let's further disrupt the family, and then we'll help you.
    The girls already lost their father, they don't need to lose their mother too.

    Anyway, had to vent, this pisses me off.
    Well I have to get some work done, I'll be back later.


  • Elsewhere

    Try to appeal the decision. Write a letter that very clearly and professionally explains your reasoning.

    Give it a shot and see what happens!

    If that does not work, send a letter to your state representative (not the US Congress).

  • acadian

    Hi Elsewhere, My first responce was to go down to the welfare office, it's a good thing I didn't I was very pissed off at the time. I'm thinking of doing what you s uggested, and writing a letter to the editor of the local paper. This is what will probably be on their responce letter... Dear tax payer...LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL !!! and have a nice day! we'll see. Acadian

  • unique1

    Are food stamps and wic the same thing? If not, she could apply for that.

  • acadian

    Hi unique1, She looked into the wic program and for herself it would be ok, but the food items aren't geared for infants, you can get blocks of cheese,butter, and some other food stuffs. I didn't see any vouchers for freah produce, so your very limited as to what you get, where food stamps you can choose any food items you want, like freah whole foods not junk from a box. From what I understand now, the father is going to be presented with child support. My feelings are that we as a family would take care of each other, when the need be, but when he walked out that put a burden on my daughter, not mention the mental anguish from losing the man she thought loved her. I know it'll all work out in the end, oh, did I mention the timing belt on her car went Just a side note: Her getting assistance is her idea, my wife and I feel differantly, were very self sufficient, but we live on a limited income. So when things pop up like the timing belt it presents challenges, but we make it work one way or another. Anyway the point that didn't make sense to me was she was told she needed to be working at least 32 hrs per wk. She works 20-30 hrs per wk right now, so she was told by the social worker she needed a secoud job or more hrs at the one she has now before she qualified for food stamps. But, they would pay for child care! Now to me it doesn't make any sense to require mother's to work and get free child care. If the "State" wants to pay somebody why not pay the mothers, and let them be just that, mothers, whose babies need them. It could just be me, but it seems the system is screwed up. Acadian ~~~ of the Dazed and Confused Class ~~~

  • juni

    Acadian -

    Am familiar w/this debacle. The good ol' USA. Nothing makes sense w/these programs that are poorly run.

    If you can avoid daycare, DO. Kids get sick a lot while in daycare. This is a fact. Bless you and your wife for helping your daughter and grandkids. I would do the same if in your situation.

    Hopefully the ex will come through w/child support. Sometimes that can be a problem and then you have court costs to get him to pay.

    Don't mean to rain on your parade, but the system sucks.


  • acadian

    Juni you didn't rain on my parade I appreciate your comment very much Juni ! One thing I didn't mention when I was ranting earlier is the fact that the father returned from Iraq a few months ago. So i'm trying to give him the benifit of doubt, because of his mental condition, which he's exspressed, but hasn't shought help for. Post trumatic stress might be one of the problems. ( uncontrolled anger, which is not good for the babies) But it's hard giving him the benifit of doubt, when all he talks about is divorce. One good thing is his family is on my daughter's defence and in full support of her both emotionally and what they can provide for the girls, clothes and odds & ends, there pretty great! Acadian

  • juni

    That's wonderful about the other grandparents. Hopefully her husband will get help if it is available. It is so sad when families are broken up as the kids need their daddy.

    Do you still have time for your carving hobby? That's cool.


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