My wife and I (ironically) have just sat discussing some of the implications of extending rights normally associated with marriage to co-habiting couples (rights such as division of assets and right to maintenance payments etc..) Following hot on the heels of two big wins for very rich divorcees that change UK law (for very high earners) which makes marriage far less financially desirable for a rich person and looking back to such landmark changes such as the abolition of the married persons tax allowance does there seem any point or hope for marriage?
It also seems a bit unfair to those who decided not to get married (for whatever reason) to suddenly be married in all but name.
Thoughts??
Is marriage over ?- UK looks at extending similar rights to co-habitees
by Qcmbr 5 Replies latest jw friends
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Qcmbr
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Gill
Qcmbr - These changes will put women, especially women who become pregnant and keep their children, in a vulnerable situation, far more so than they are at the moment, once they have a small child, or two, or more to look after.
Marriage, is being made to appear as a financial burden, mainly to men, and wives and children as a mill stone around their necks that will strip them of all their financial assets. Instead of a partnership in which to bring up children in which they both make sacrifices for the benefit of eachother and their children.
What man, who cares about his bank balance, will stay with a woman who is pregnant or especially once he hits the hard times of teething, nursery expences, and the real financial horror story that is bringing up children.
The whole male female relationship is threatened by bringing it down to MONEY. Marriage is about far more than money. And a marriage breakup is also about far more than money.
Bringing cohabitees into the equation then devalues marriage, making it pointless and there is even less security involved in it. Neither men or women are protected by the current divorce laws, just ripped off by lawyers.
Cohabitees will face the same problems or being figuratively shackled to eachother and therefore, fearing financial consequences and seeing their relationship as just a threat to their bank balance.
Women will be alone even more to bring up their children. There are no benefits to being married any more in the UK, just draw backs.
The real benefits of marriage was for childrens security and now fifty percent of children in the UK are born out of wedlock which means that by the time they are five years old, they may no longer have a father.
This government has encouraged this scandal by not supporting an arrangement which protected the most vulnerable in society, marriage. Children are far less likely to be harmed by their own father, than by their mothers latest boyfriend.
Take one case in hand. My neighbour. We're the same age. She has three children. She has never been married. She has had five partners in the time we have known eachother, since we were nineteen. Her fifteen year old daughter and seventeen year old son recently became parents. Her thirteen year old is out at all hours. She has to work non stop to survive. Her men leave, because she does not believe in marriage or in commitment. I used to think she had a good deal. Seeing how miserable she is now, I know she took the wrong road. The kids have suffered. Her finances are on the rocks. She is suffering. Her men are all gone. She's all alone.
Yet she gets more financial support from the government than we do. Yet her life and her childrens lives are wrecked.
Long live marriage. And I never thought I'd really believe that, but now I do.
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BritBoy
And to think how Gay rights have fought for equality in relationship status for so long... now six months after the Civil Partnership Act, they introduce this...
Qcmbr, if it's not bird flu, it's the banks out to get us. If it's not the Mad Cows, it's the tax credit over payments that'll get us. This GMTV fuelled scare culture is reeling into serious trouble. Enough I say. I am off to live on an Island... maybe with the LOST crowd... I think the black smoke/death thing that whispers is far less scary than Fiona Phillip's up turned sour old mouth going on about some poor troglodyte trying to pay back his over payment of £8000 which he spent on a Cruise ship that gave him the shits!
Brit
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Mary
Actually, here in Canada, co-habitees have had basically the same Rights as married people for quite a while now. I think you only have to live with someone for 6 months or a year and you are put down on their benefits. If you have kids outside of marriage and you split up, the father still has to pay palimony and child support same as if you were married.
You're right Gill, it all comes down to dollars and cents. A good friend of mine (an ex-Dub) was taken to court last week by his ex-wife for support. Even though she just got a degree in Graphic Design last year, she's refusing to get a job because of course, that means that hubby has to pony up more dough for her. She was a terrible wife, a lousy mother (she does not have custody of their daughter and has expressed no interest at all in seeing her), she's stoned or pissed out of her mind half the time and blames her ex for the split up of the marriage. The fact that it was she who committed adultery doesn't register as "guilty" in her pea-brain mind. Yet none of this, means anything in the courts over here. The damn judge awarded her $2,000/month!! And she's been ordered to keep away from her daughter at the same time!! How much sense does that make?!
Over here, the only way a guy gets to keep what he earns is to never get married and never have kids.......pretty darn sad when you think about it.
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ballistic
I read an article in the Gaurdian the other day which was saying many young women in the UK are suprised to find they have to payout to ex-husbands... this has sharply increased due to the increased wealth of women; here there are more millionaire women under age 35 than there are millionaire men.
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Witchettygrub
Marriage the first time is still proving popular for young couples. For second-time around older people it's a different story. It scares the life out of them, particularly the men who have been dragged through the Family Court, lose access to their children, lost their house, more than half of their assets, (possessions) and have to pay their ex-wife child support until the children turn 18.
Yes, I think civil marriage is on the way out. People, older ones, are opting for 'shacking up' or 'living in sin'. Cohabiting is a more agreeable alternative for these ones. However, the pain's the same if it all ends again.
Witchettygrub