Hello everyone. Before I get to my problem let me introduce myself. I've already posted on this board quite a bit in the past and still come read stuff on here from time to time. I would have used my old username but decided against it because quite a few people on here know who I am in real life but for this I'd prefer to stay unknown out of respect for the people I'll be writing about. For the sake of this discussion, I'll just say I was born and raised a JW and left once I grew up. I am totally and completely out of the borg and don't mind telling people that either. Ok, on to the issue at hand. About a year ago a guy I'm friends with got a promotion at his company and pretty much offered me his job. After coming in and going through the formality of an interview I was offered the position (more money, better enviroment, better work, more free time) but there was one thing holding me back from taking it; the owner, the VP's, as well as about a quarter of the company (around 100 people work there) are all JW's. Well, I really did NOT like my old job and my friend went to great lengths to assure me that the whole JW thing wouldn't be a problem so I took the job. I had been there a while and the job really is wonderful. I absolutely love it there and would recomend this place to anybody who's lucky enough to get offered a job (they hardly ever advertise because turnover is so low and even when somebody does leave they're usually replaced by a friend or family member of someone who already works there). I've done more and better work there in the past year than I did in three years at my old job just because the work enviroment is so great. Without getting into too many details to protect the privacy of others, it got out to a few people that I'm an apostate. Now, normally you would think that would basically be a death warrant in a company owned and operated by JW's but that's where my problem comes in. The owner is a devoted elder but as it turns out his sons who work at the company and pretty much run it now hate being JW's but don't want to lose all of the JW friends and family. There's another guy who is a fairly quite pioneer who once he found out I'm an apostate is more friendly and buddy buddy to me than anybody else in the company. Myself, I look at JW stuff as an incredibly stupid first part of my life that I left a long time ago and I'd rather just leave behind and forget it. Not only that but I'm just the lowly IT support guy who's not used to people very high up in any company coming to me for personal/spiritual advice. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to help and feel like I should help anybody out who wants out but at the same time, I've already left and would prefer to leave all the old ways behind. Other than hiding out in my server room all day long (which is hard because I have to run around the company fixing stuff) how would you all deal with this situation? Not a normal question on this board I know but any suggestions are welcome. Thanks!
Weirdly Wonderful Problem
by Pleasantly Confused 7 Replies latest jw friends
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Nathan Natas
If you are in the USA, the same federal laws that give JWs the right to exercise their religion gives you the right NOT to exercise a religion. If they made an issue out of it, you should sue them for violating your rights. I don't think you'd have a problem getting lawyers to take your case on a contingency or maybe even pro bono basis. Your employer has no business dictating your religious life.
Begin keeping a diary at home, in a secure location.
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Pleasantly Confused
Nathan,
No, I wouldn't do that to them at all. They aren't trying to force the JW stuff on me at all. They're just being VERY VERY VERY supportive of me being an apostate and looking for someone who knows what they're going through. They're great people and I don't want anything bad to happen to them at all and I want to be able to help them out. At the same time, however, I'd prefer to just move past it and wish they would too but I can understand why they can't. I'm just curious of the best way to lovingly deal with that.
If anything, they're not trying to make me practice a religion at all and one of them actually got onto one of the elders at work when he heard the elder trying to get me to take a book (their office are right next to each other and also the only time anyone has tried to push the JW belief on me at all) and came and apologized to me later that that happened despite his multiple warnings to that guy. -
Elsewhere
Looks like you have the opportunity to very gently free an awful lot of JWs from the Watchtower Society.
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Pleasantly Confused
Elsewhere,
Yeah, what's really funny is there's one office with two sisters in it (one much much more into it than the other and neither knowing about my past). One day I was walking by and heard the diehard JW going on about what a nice young man I am. As for the pioneer guy who now has a best friend, he's only been like that since I heard him talking to a non-JW coworker about religion stuff and I joined in and started shooting him down with just about every pro-JW point he brought up before finally just telling him I'm an apostate. Ever since then he hasn't talked about JW stuff to me but will come hang out in my office from time to time to just talk about whatever (movies, video games, etc.). One day he was planning on leaving early to go out in service but stuck around work to hang out with me. I was proud when I went home that day. :) -
luna2
The only thing I can think of for you to do is to gently refuse to talk religion at all at work. Perhaps you could suggest that any such discussions wait until lunch or breaks or after the day is over...which would limit the amount of time you have to spend talking about it. As you say...a weird, but kind of wonderful, problem. lol
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lovelylil
Hi confused,
I was in a similiar situtation in my work. I am a per diem health care worker and had to work under a gal recently that was in my old KH. I am also considered Apostate. Since she was my superviser I approached her and brought the matter up. I assured her I intended on doing the best job I could for her, I respected her position over me, I told her I would in no way express my personal opinions at work about the JWs or the organization, or talk about religion in any way, and would like her to do the same. And I asked her if she would have a problem with that in any way or if she felt it would hinder my chances in the company as far as moving up, etc. She said no. We kept our conversation to every day pleasentries and job related stuff. but I made it clear to her I was not going to hide anywhere in the building so she could "shun" me, I felt that would create a hostile work environment for me.
I don't know if this will work for you but it did for me, and you can let them know how much you love working with them all and the company.
But, if in the future you feel you are being held back because of your religious beliefs, and not allowed to advance, get a raise in salary or anything like this, then just know that it is religious descrimination and you can sue them. Hope this helps in some small way, Good luck and welcome back to the board, Lilly
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Pleasantly Confused
Oh no, I don't feel any hostility from anybody at work and if anything, I think the whole apostate thing really helps me out (the guys that run the company talk to me about how they're trying to get out and I'm friends with the people who signs the company checks). I've only been there a year or so and have already gotten a raise twice. The second one was after various people learned I was apostate and it was acutally a bit bigger than my first one was. Trust me, I've never been a former JW to hide away from current JW's. Last Christmas I sent a card to my old congo to say hi and show how great my life is going now. Amazingly enough, from what I heard they didn't think it was as nearly as funny as I did. Suffice to say, I'm not one to shy away from such things.
Oh yeah, I have never been a JW in the town that I live now and nobody knows me here. I grew up and left my old city and congo years ago. Guess I should have specified that earlier. Sorry about that!