Good Friend dying - Update

by pratt1 7 Replies latest jw experiences

  • pratt1

    First, thanks to all for your encouraging posts.

    It was exactly what I need to boost my spirits before visiting my friend.

    As I expected he was/is in pretty bad shape. He underwent a procedure right before I arrived that did not seem to have the desired effect. Basically he can not walk or sit up because of being too weak, and he is only expected to stay in the hospital until his Hospice facilities within his home is set up.

    Fortunately I had seen him about 2 months ago so I was prepared for the difference in his appearence, however he has deterioated even more since then, which was very hard to take.

    He was very glad to see me and when I walked into his room he began to cry. We hugged for a long time before either of us said a word, he seemed to not want to let go. I explained to him that even though I had only seen him once in 10 years, he and his family has always been in my thoughts, and I always remember the fun times we had as kids and the pramks and games we played as kids with much happiness.

    He then began to tell me about his hopes for his wife and kids for their future, and the details about his prognosis - not good.

    I was able to spend an hour with him, before he had any other visitors so it was a good unstrained visit at least for me, without hearing the Dub's Dribble.

    When I go up to leave we hugged again, and this time he said, "I want to die knowing that I am going to see you in the New System." I should have been prepared for this, but I wasn't.

    I continued to hug him and after a slight hesitation I said, " I don't want you to die at all, but if that is inevitable, I want you to know that if God really is a God of love, we will see each other again."

    Did I just evade the issue, maybe so, but I just didn't have the heart to tell him what I really thought of the beliefs of his religon.

    I will continue to stay close to him and his family throughout this ordeal, so I am sure that this will come up again with not just him but also his family.

    Bottom line, I'm just glad that we were able to see each other and talk. I'll remember this forever.

    By the way, I was able to connect with our other Dfed friend who I haven't seen in over 10 years. It was if we had never lost contact. He is doing fine and has really picked up his life since leaving the "lie". After we apoligized for abandoning each other ( we were both Dfed around the same this, but we still shunned each other, Go figure...) we vowed not to lose contact with each other again , and we are getting together later this week.

    We were also able to engage another ex dub who works in administration for a hosiptal in the same network as the one my friend is staying, to sit down with the family to make sure that they are taking advantage of the benefits and monies available to them for his hospital stay.

    Thanks again for all the posts and I will keep you guys updated.

  • candidlynuts
    " I don't want you to die at all, but if that is inevitable, I want you to know that if God really is a God of love, we will see each other again."

    that was the perfect response.. i'm glad you had a good visit. hugs

  • blondie

    Good response, pratt1.

    Do you think his family and hers will help them?


  • Sad emo
    Sad emo

    That was exactly the right response, pratt1, it was full of compassion.

  • luna2

    You did good. What a painful situation. Glad you and your other friend were able to make contact too.

  • pratt1

    Blondie, no.

    I spoke with his wife and she said that she asked her parents who are dubs and they can't help and I am pretty sure that his family does not have the means to help.

    It interesting though that the people who are willing to help are me, our childhood friend and another friend of mine are the only ones who have offered to help.

    We are all ex dubs.

  • stillAwitness

    Your story was quite the tear jerker for me. But I am happy that you two were able to get some closure after so long. Its good that you did not start a debate or refute his words to you. What you said was good enough.

    Just reminds me how short life is and how we all must live it to the fullest whenever I hear stories like that. I hope his family is taken care of.

  • evita

    I'm so amazed that you were able to say just the right thing at such a difficult time.
    That is one of the things I most regret when my mom was dying. I was so distraught that I wasn't able to be as comforting as I wanted to be. Every day I think of things I wish I had told her.
    It's times like these that we find out what we're made of. Your friend is lucky to have you.

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