going to see my "worldly" boyfriend

by Suzie 4 Replies latest social relationships

  • Suzie

    So, In a week or so, I will be traveling to visit my worldly boyfriend. I am very scared, and nervous. I have a fear of flying and all, but there is more to it... He is very sick with cancer. He is in the hospital right now. He went sometime through the night and he had emergency surgery this morning. He wasn't scheduald for the surgery for 2 weeks. I am very worried about him!

    I told a friend about me dating him... She said for me to end things now since I am technically still concidered a witness. I can not and will not leave him! I love him very much, and for once in my life, I choose to do something that makes me happy, and us being together is what makes me happy! Besides, how COULD I ditch him when he needs me most, and for a stupid reason of, "Well honey, I am a witness, and you aren't!?" That is SOOOO stupid, and it is confusing to the person! I will not do anything I choose not to do right now, and breaking up with him is just something I will NOT do!

    my mom, which has never been a witness, told me to pray and stuff.. well, honestly, I have been doing some willful sins lately, and due to what I have been told, God probably won't respond to my prayers... so am I hopeless!? What do I do!? I am terrified that I will get there to find out he died!!!!! please help! (even moral support would be nice since I can't talk to my so called friends about this. )

  • unclebruce
    I am technically still concidered a witness. I can not and will not leave him! I love him very much, and for once in my life, I choose to do something that makes me happy, and us being together is what makes me happy! Besides, how COULD I ditch him when he needs me most,

    suzie, you are a wonderful girl,

    I'm not much good at love advice but I'd be damn proud to adopt you as a daughter.

    Forget the "technically a witness" bollocks, forget about all the negative pricks and stings, you are only answerable to yourself.

    love is all that matters and true love doesn't come often. Follow your heart, go forth and pursue happiness with a clear conscience and my best wishes!


  • Fleur

    Oh man, Suzy. What a kind heart you are.

    Dear one, please don't be so hard on yourself. As someone who as a young (you sound young!) Jw girl walked in the heavy, unforgiving shoes of guilt for years over things that I now laugh about because in the grand scheme of the universe, they didn't matter at all and hurt no one. The only thing that hurt was the torture that I put myself through for believing that God would punish me for every single thing I did.

    It sounds like your boyfriend is lucky to have you. I will hope good things for you both.

    It may seem like a big, huge, scary "world" out there right now. But you'll find that gradually, you come to understand that the cruelest, scariest "World of all is the 'loving arms' of "Jehovahs' organization" and the "loving brotherhood."

    travel safely and please let us know how he's doing when you can. I will be thinking of you, honey.



  • Super_Becka

    ((((((((((((((Suzie and her boyfriend)))))))))))))))))

    I'm the non-JW half of my relationship, so I really can't offer any advice, just moral support and happy thoughts.

    I can't imagine the pain you're in right now - not only are you torn between the JWs and your boyfriend, but he's sick, that's more than anyone should have to deal with. You should be able to go to your friends for comfort and support right now, but of course, there's no such thing as compassion when it comes to JWs.

    I also applaud you for standing by your man and not just dropping the whole relationship. I can see that you really love your boyfriend, or else the stress would've been too much for you to handle and you would've run for the hills to get away from it, but no, you're sticking with him, through his illness and through the religious turmoil and stress caused by the WTS when it comes to relationships with JWs and non-JWs. It would take a very strong person to deal with either of those situations, but both of them together, I can't imagine how difficult that must be for you.

    I can see where you're coming from when you say that you can't just go to your boyfriend and dump him because he's not a JW. My boyfriend is a JW and many people have told me to just end it and run while I still can, but I love him so much, there's no way that I can justify dumping him. I can't imagine looking at him and saying, "I can't be with you because you're a JW", that would kill me. He means the world to me and that's just not a good enough reason for me to leave him, and I'm sure you feel the same way about your boyfriend.

    I don't know what you believe, but I believe that, if you ask for God's forgiveness, He will forgive your sins. I also believe that, if you believe, He will listen to your prayers and answer them as He sees fit. If you want to pray, I believe that God will hear your prayers. How He'll answer them, I don't know, but I do believe that He will listen to you and be there for you. The God that I believe in is one of love, not one of anger and hatred, and I believe that He will listen to you and hear your prayers if you ask Him to. I don't think that God shuts out anyone who truly believes and trusts Him, especially not in their time of need.

    I say, follow your heart. This is your life, not anyone else's, and I think you should do what you feel is right. And if you want to be with your boyfriend, then do that. I know it's hard to do that as a JW, but it is your life after all, and I firmly believe that you should do what you want to do. If this is what you think is right for you, then do it.

    I know it's not the same as having your own friends to help you through this, but this board is here if you need to talk, and we're all here to support you. If you ever need to talk or vent or cry or scream, you know where to come. We're all here to listen and help out however we can.

    I hope this works out for you, and I wish your boyfriend a speedy recovery and a long and happy life.

    My prayers are with you both.

    -Becka :)

  • Suzie

    Awww!!!!!!!! Thank you all for your very kind words and support! It really does help a lot! Quite honestly though, the doctors have said that if things go well for him, he will maybe survive 5 years at the most. He has stomach cancer. I know that time is short for him, but that doesn't change a thing about how I feel. I have only known of this since a month ago. We have been technically together since December. When I first heard, my world crashed! I didn't know what to do. But all in all, I knew how happy that we made each other, and if I can make him happy from now until the end, I will be happy! He shouldn't have to go through this alone or lonely. I would do anything for him! And I feel so helpless being accross the world, when he needs me there with him now! I need a time machine! lol!

    Well, I tried praying a little today... er... talking to God rather. I just feel so weird praying since I haven't for so long.

    I am so happy that we have this board and I found it!!!! Without it, there just isn't any one that understands what things are like it seems. struggeling with the religious crap, and this. Thank you all!!!! Haha! Unclebruce wants to adopt me! Yay!!! Oh, I sound young? lol! Yeah, I am in my mid-20s

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