((((((((((((((Suzie and her boyfriend)))))))))))))))))
I'm the non-JW half of my relationship, so I really can't offer any advice, just moral support and happy thoughts.
I can't imagine the pain you're in right now - not only are you torn between the JWs and your boyfriend, but he's sick, that's more than anyone should have to deal with. You should be able to go to your friends for comfort and support right now, but of course, there's no such thing as compassion when it comes to JWs.
I also applaud you for standing by your man and not just dropping the whole relationship. I can see that you really love your boyfriend, or else the stress would've been too much for you to handle and you would've run for the hills to get away from it, but no, you're sticking with him, through his illness and through the religious turmoil and stress caused by the WTS when it comes to relationships with JWs and non-JWs. It would take a very strong person to deal with either of those situations, but both of them together, I can't imagine how difficult that must be for you.
I can see where you're coming from when you say that you can't just go to your boyfriend and dump him because he's not a JW. My boyfriend is a JW and many people have told me to just end it and run while I still can, but I love him so much, there's no way that I can justify dumping him. I can't imagine looking at him and saying, "I can't be with you because you're a JW", that would kill me. He means the world to me and that's just not a good enough reason for me to leave him, and I'm sure you feel the same way about your boyfriend.
I don't know what you believe, but I believe that, if you ask for God's forgiveness, He will forgive your sins. I also believe that, if you believe, He will listen to your prayers and answer them as He sees fit. If you want to pray, I believe that God will hear your prayers. How He'll answer them, I don't know, but I do believe that He will listen to you and be there for you. The God that I believe in is one of love, not one of anger and hatred, and I believe that He will listen to you and hear your prayers if you ask Him to. I don't think that God shuts out anyone who truly believes and trusts Him, especially not in their time of need.
I say, follow your heart. This is your life, not anyone else's, and I think you should do what you feel is right. And if you want to be with your boyfriend, then do that. I know it's hard to do that as a JW, but it is your life after all, and I firmly believe that you should do what you want to do. If this is what you think is right for you, then do it.
I know it's not the same as having your own friends to help you through this, but this board is here if you need to talk, and we're all here to support you. If you ever need to talk or vent or cry or scream, you know where to come. We're all here to listen and help out however we can.
I hope this works out for you, and I wish your boyfriend a speedy recovery and a long and happy life.
My prayers are with you both.