AP January 1, 2010
Jehovah calls off Armageddon, labour issues
World pop 1990 5.252 billion
World pop 1999 5.996 billion
World pop 2006 6.496 billion
Sources have it that the fear inspiring day of Jehovah may be delayed so that some flesh can be spared. Coupled with booming population and languishing numbers of witnesses the work is just too great.
“The friends aren’t interested in preaching anymore and with the work at a stop in the industrialized world, we just can’t keep the organization going anymore” said Michael Jackson, newest member of the syndicate’s governing body.
Boli, an elder in India claims that en mass witnessing was tried, but babies are being born so fast that even the Witnesses commercials during Survivor and American Idol can’t keep up. Funding for Prime Time commercials were recently curtailed due to enormous law suites due to the “big news” of 2005.