Christmas For Dummies

by fairchild 0 Replies latest jw friends

  • fairchild

    In a different thread (Are you Christmas retarded), kaylen mentioned that we need a Christmas for Dummies book.

    I have put a small christmas for dummies guide together, here it comes..

    Christmas For Dummies

    Peace on earth and stress in the homes of the ones who wish to take part in the Christmas tradition without knowing exactly what to do.

    You too can become a Christmas professional. Just read the easy to follow instructions below.


    -Buy your decorations for the next Christmas season AFTER Christmas. This is when they go on sale and 25 to 75% off is nothing unusual. Tinsels, balls and lights are traditional as well as universal, they will not be out of fashion the next season.

    -If you live in a snowy area, and you are planning on putting up some outdoor lights, make sure to do it before the snow falls. That way you don’t have to climb in slippery trees and you won’t freeze. Just wait until the season starts to turn on the lights.

    -Having a real or a fake tree is a personal choice. Usually, real trees go on sale exactly a week before Christmas. Fake trees often don’t go on sale until after Christmas.

    -If you buy a real tree, remember to water it regularly and remember to buy a tree stand.

    -Teach the cat that a tree stand is not a litter box and that lights are to be enjoyed, not to be ripped out of the tree.

    -Although many people leave decorations up forever, it is a general habit to take the decorations down on January 6 th .

    *Christmas cards.

    -Make a list of people you would like to send a card to. The more the better, people love cards. You don’t need to write your entire biography inside the card. A short “best wishes” and your name is sufficient, unless you want to write something more personal.

    -Christmas cards go on sale after Christmas as well.

    -Cards can be expensive. The best deals are often the assortments which come in a box. Most bulk Christmas cards do not have the price written on the back, so nobody will know that you had them at 4 for a dollar.

    -If you would like to support a good cause, you could always buy Unicef cards, or cards which support another good cause. Such cards might be a tiny bit more expensive, but you will have done a good deed by buying them.

    -Add 5 extra workdays for your cards to arrive. Post offices are usually overwhelmed during the holiday season and it takes longer than usual for mail to travel.

    -Make a list of people who have sent you a card and make sure to send them one the next year. When you receive a card from a person whom you did not send anything to, you can always still send them a card, thanking them for their wishes and wishing them the best in return.

    -Officially, cards can be sent until the end of January, but it always looks better to send them much sooner than that.


    -The official Christmas shopping season starts the third Friday in November.

    -If you don’t like pushing your way through crowded malls and stores, you can always start sooner. Many people will buy gifts throughout the year and store them away for Christmas. This way the cost of buying gifts can be kept under control during the holiday season.

    -Don’t go overboard. Nobody expects a $500 gift. and if they do, then they are just greedy. Make sure to buy two extra gifts for nobody in particular (see “party” section).

    -You will notice that some people are “hard to buy” for. Such people are often happy with a gift certificate.

    -In most places, it is a custom to give the mail man and the garbage man a card and some home baked cookies. In most areas, they are not allowed to accept money, so should you put money in a card they might feel awkward about it. Giving cookies and a card to those people is not a written rule, but you may be assured that they remember who gave them something and who gave them nothing.

    -When you receive gifts, always act happy, even if it is something completely useless to you. Make sure to thank the person who gave you the gift and make sure they know that their gift was appreciated.

    -Thing one should NOT say when receiving a gift..

    “That’s IT??”

    “Oh thanks, you got more?”

    “Damn, blue is not exactly my favorite color”

    “I already have four calendars, but I’m sure I’ll find a spot for this one as well”

    “OOH, thanks, I saw that at the dollar store and almost bought it”

    “Do you have a receipt so that I can return it?”

    -Just this year I learned about “re-wrapping”. I was shocked but apparently it is something many people do. When they get gifts they don’t want or don’t need, they re-wrap them and give them to someone else.

    *Christmas parties

    -As mentioned above, you should always buy a couple of (cheap) gifts for nobody in particular. An agenda or some candles, good soap, a calendar.. something like that.

    -When you go to a party and you are not sure if people are going to exchange presents or if anyone is going to give something to you, just bring the extra presents, but leave them in the car (or in your purse if they fit). Then, when someone hands you a present, you will not have to drop your head down in shame, because you will have something to give to them too.

    -Most people bring home baked cookies to Christmas parties.


    -When you plan on cooking Christmas dinner, planning is everything. Make sure you have all the ingredients in the house which you will need.

    -Many desserts and nearly all soups can be made a day in advance. Make as much in advance as you can, that way you don’t have to stress out on the big day.

    -Having colored or decorated napkins is a nice touch.

    -If you have guests, make sure they don’t get too drunk to drive.

    -If you are a smoker and you invite non smokers, do NOT smoke at the dinner table, even if they say that they don’t mind it.

    *When you are invited for dinner somewhere, make sure to send them a thank you note afterwards, it will make them feel appreciated. This is not a general rule, but personally, I always do this, Christmas or not.

    Please let me know if there is anything that I should add. I am going to save this and post it again about a month before christmas next year.

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