Hello

by Cassandra 8 Replies latest jw friends

  • Cassandra
    Cassandra

    Hi
    I have been lurking for months now and want to say hello.
    I was raised a JW and am now 46yrs old. I stopped attending meetings at the beginning of this year for various reasons and only then gained the courage to check the net and see if anyone else like me was out there. My husband was an elder for around 10 yrs and is still an active witness. I read of so many who have left the org together and that is not the case with us. My husband is a very good man but it is impossible to reason on things that are set as rules by the org. I feel trapped between two worlds. Living like this is like being in the twilight zone, he wont associate with my "worldly" friends and many of the witness friends see me as a bad associate.
    Has anyone else been here?
    Cassandra

  • myMichelle
    myMichelle

    Hi Cassandra,

    Welcome to the board. Such a nice name, when I was in jr. high I wished that I had been named Cassandra--I wanted the nick name Cassy.

    There are several people here with circumstances similar to yours, some may even post after their morning cup of coffee. I am a nonJW married to a now inactive JW. My husband's family are JWs and his sister is married to a 3rd generation JW, so I can sort of imagine what it is like when one marriage partner makes changes regarding his/her faith.

    I don't know if you have checked out the Personal Experiences forum or not, but you can find the backgrounds of several people there.

    Once again, welcome,
    Michelle

    editted for clarification

  • Patriot
    Patriot

    Hello Cassandra and welcome,

    I think that all of us here has gone through that same situation, thats why we all come here to chat with each other and find a certain amount of comfort in knowing the similiar circumstances that brought us here.

    My wife was the same way as your husband; she did not want to reason over the set rules.

    But what did it for her was the way that I was interrogated 5 times by the C.O. and then by the elders over a blood quetion that was asked to me by a "spiritually weak" brother. Since I was an M.S. pioneer and already recommended for elder this brother thought that I might have an answer.

    I did not so I turned to the elders. Instead of just saying that they did not know anything, 2 months past and waited for the C.O. and then "told" on me. Said that I was trying to undermind the brother's spirituality! Can you believe that?!

    At this time I still had no knowledge of any "apostate" thinking of info. Yet I was still called to a Judicial Commitee and stripped of my position and told that I waould have to demonstrate maturity so I can get to my posotion again.

    After that noone, I mean NOONE, has called me since. And although I'm not disfellowshipped or anything, they had a talk that warned people about "smooth talkers" who are intelligent and can word their way around things.

    After that the JW's started their usual gossip routine which ruined my rep. and my "mother's, brother, sisters" which I have known since I was BORN, no longer loved me. Till today noone has still contacted me.

    That did it for my wife, she saw that there is really no true love but only harsh rules and regulations that don't come close to what Jesus taught. So now we are both happy to be free and glad to have friends like those on this board who can help us trough tuff times.

    Hope we can do the same for U.

    Patriot/Mav

  • Bridgette
    Bridgette

    Cassandra Welcome! You will find comfort just knowing you're not alone. When I left, I was terrified that there was no one on earth like me, and that I would end up like all those "experiences" that they always relate through the gossip mill about people who leave and wind up crack addicted/selling themselves, etc. What I found via lurking about on the internet was people generally getting on with their lives. Getting their educations, developing their artistic capabilities. Just living.
    Well, once again, welcome, I hope you find things that you can use here. Take what you need, leave the rest. :)
    Love,
    Bridgette

    The world is my country and to do good, my religion.--Thomas Paine

  • FreePeace
    FreePeace

    Hi Cassandra!

    I am happy you posted! Leaving the WTS is usually a difficult proposition at best, due to all the changes we individually go through. Trying to hang on to what relationships we have left adds to the stress. As the others mention above, many here have dealt with different situations and circumstances, and can perhaps be of encouragement to you.

    The important thing is to continue participating here, meeting different ones (perhaps even in the chat room), and getting strength.

    I invite you to visit my websites listed below. On TruthQuest, an article you may find helpful is called, "Who Am I? How to Reinvent Yourself After Leaving the WTS."

    EmpowerTheSpirit.com is not religious in nature and features a free e-zine as well as personal growth articles.

    I wish you the best and hope to "see" you around here!

    Doug

    "The World is my country, and to do good, my religion." --Thomas Paine

    Visit my Websites:
    TruthQuest: http://beam.to/truthquest

    Empower the Spirit: http://www.EmpowerTheSpirit.com

  • FreePeace
    FreePeace

    Hey Bridgette!

    You have great taste in your signature quote!!! Good for you!

    Doug

    "The World is my country, and to do good, my religion." --Thomas Paine

    Visit my Websites:
    TruthQuest: http://beam.to/truthquest

    Empower the Spirit: http://www.EmpowerTheSpirit.com

  • chester
    chester

    Hi Cassandra,

    It is good to see you posting here.
    You are not alone. I am in a situation that is very similiar to yours.
    I quit attending meeting several months ago because I decided to check things out on the net.

    I am not DF or DA but no one has called me either.

    I can not reason with my wife who also refuses to see the truth about "the Troof". It may take something like what happened to Patriot for her to come around.

  • bboyneko
    bboyneko
    warned people about "smooth talkers"

    Me and Naeblis are smooth with the ladies, does that count?

    But seriously, welcome Cassandra. SO many new peeps have been joining. Its pretty encouraging. Good luck with your husband. You've only begun to live when you realize that you don't know the answers.

    -Dan

  • ladonna
    ladonna

    Hello Cassandra,

    A warm welcome to you.

    I have not been in exactly the same postion as you, but like most people here, I have had my fair share of ups and downs.

    You will never be without friends here....drop into chat sometime and say hello.

    Ana

    BBoy.....don't you ever sleep????

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