A Christmas Ode to Fred Franz (to the tune of Rudoplh)

by AlmostAtheist 7 Replies latest jw friends

  • AlmostAtheist

    To the tune of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (with apologies to Robert May and Johnny Marks)

    Russell was stupid.
    Rutherford was blitzin'.
    Some GB members,
    Thought young boys were vixens.
    But do you recall...
    The most whacked-out J-dub of all?

    Fred Franz, the Watchtower Prophet,
    Told us everything he knows!
    And if you carefully read it,
    The laughter just grows and grows!

    All of the evil apostates,
    still laugh and call him names!
    They just won't let poor Freddy
    Get away with his Bible games!

    But every once in a blue moon,
    A Witness comes by to say,
    "Apostates, you've known from your youth,"
    "Only the Watchtower has The Truth!"

    We all laugh and cry "Idiot!"
    "Sell crazy elsewhere, we're full!"
    Then LadyLee reminds us,
    we all once bought that bull!

  • Confession

    LOL, Almost. Nicely done!

  • Confession

    I liked it so much, I decided to write my own Christmas song...

    (To the tune of "The Christmas Song," as sung by Nat King Cole)

    Wingnuts knocking on your door this morn

    A guy with a Watchtower magazine

    Yep it’s Christmas, and as sure as your borrrrrn

    The Jay Dubs try to horn in on your scene

    Everybody knows a fir tree and some mistletoe

    Are signs that Satan is your god

    It seems any day Armageddon will blowwww

    And we pagans will be reduced to sod

    You know there’s a putter ‘gainst the walllll

    You’d like to glance it off his skulllll

    And all the carolers who do pass

    Will see you kick this Jay Dub’s assssss

    And so, I’m offering this simple phrase

    To Dubs from one to ninety-four

    We don’t care about your mind cult wayyyys

    Merry Christmas, and stay away from my doorrrr.

  • AlmostAtheist

    >> We don’t care about your mind cult wayyyys
    >> Merry Christmas, and stay away from my doorrrr.

    Excellent! We need to make a CD!


  • Confession

    We could call it "A Jehovah's Witness Christmas."

    Could you imagine producing some TV ads like that? :o)


    You guys are too funny!!! LOL!


  • Scully

    Well done!!

    :::: applause ::::

    my, my.... we *do* have some very talented people here!!

  • AlmostAtheist

    Hey Ian! You up for recording a few Christmas songs for us? :-)


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