I Feel At Peace

confused_101

I haven't been on here in a few days, or if I did get on it was only for a few minutes. The last few days I have felt strangely at peace, with life, with my children, and with me. I’m wondering if this has anything to do with the fact that I just lost my mother in law. She was almost like my mom. She welcomed me into her home and her family with open arms, no questions asked. She loved me unconditionally. I could talk to her about any thing and she would give her honest opinion. I don’t have a close relationship with my mom, never did, even when I was a dub. So my mil was very special to me.

I’ve just been getting this odd feelings that will come over me all of a sudden, and I will see a flash of light. Or I have one of those dreams where I’m not all the way awake but not all the way asleep either and I see the sky all blue and white and I see her outline. Or the other day we went by the cemetery and visited her site, the sky was so cloudy there wasn’t a spec of blue that I could I see. Then as we were leaving I look up to my right and out of no where there was a hole and the sun’s rays where shinning through and I could see the blue sky and I felt calm, and then it was gone.

I was raised to believe that only the 144,000 go to heaven, but I know that she is up there. I feel that she is watching over us all. She loved her family so very much. I just hate the little bit of doubt that will pop up every now and again, but I’m working on it.

~ RIP Nana Pat, We All Love You and Miss You ~