Is it really time to adopt new grandparents?!

by Gill 4 Replies latest jw friends

  • Gill

    My daughter will be 21 in a couple of weeks.

    So, last year we asked my JW parents if they would like to come round for her 20th birthday, promised not to sing Happy Birthday etc and they came round. I expected a happy acceptance when I rang and asked them to come round for dinner on her 21st.

    But NO!

    'Why are you doing these things? You know we don't celebrate birthdays! You didn't used to celebrate the children's birthdays when they were little...why are you doing it now? You know how we feel about it!' was my mother's reply. 'No we will not come.'

    I told her I was 'doing it' because I could do whatever I wanted.

    I was caught on the hop and did not answer too well and that was the end of the conversation.

    However...I was totally astounded by the rage I felt with her. Not so much that she said 'NO' but that she dared to question something perfectly normal that I was doing and imply I was doing something really wrong.

    All the kids and myself were fact if we had a swear box, (which the kids keep threatening to get for me) they think I might have made a substantial donation to the box last night and that we would all be on our way to a holiday in Barbados, that's how cross I was.

    We had dinner. I turned round to see where the twins had gone and they were on the internet.....they were on a 'Adopt a Grandparent' site!

    Well this is how it is for my kids. My husbands' JW parents who live 100 yards up the road turn their backs on me and the children when ever they see us, even their little 6 year old grand daughter.

    My parents, who can be reasonable sometimes, never invite us to family gatherings and never invite us all around anymore. They rubbed our noses into the fact that they had bought an enormous extending table for when they have the JW relatiaves around and even had my husband help my father collect it in his work van.

    What a bunch of shit heads!!!!!!

    I am so sick of these stupid JWs!!!! I could spit!

    OK! I feel better now!

  • diamondblue1974

    ((hugs Gill))

    I dont know what I can say to your post except that its typical isnt it; well given they have annoyed you so much you should invite them round a few days later than her birthday...when they think they are safe and then when they are not expecting it...turn all the lights off and bring in the cake with the candles singing 'happy birthday'

    The cost of the cake £20.

    The look on their face when the lights go out and the candles walk through the door....priceless!


  • lisavegas420

    do you have a link to the adopt a grandparents site? Sounds like an excellent idea.

    Hope your daughter has a wonderful birthday. My youngest, my son....will be 21 next week. My emotions are a mixture of and and .

    I know I'm a wonderful grandmother...but I always felt my kids missed out ...big time.


  • Gill

    DB1974 - Wouldn't that be cool! I can see my mother's face! She'd be so afraid that Satan ( who she says is my friend!) would get her...she might run for it!

    lisa - I know what you mean about the kids missing out. They did miss out. They missed out of having special fun and things to look forward to that didn't involve adding to the coffers of the WTBTS! Now, we're making it all up to them and ourselves.

    When it comes to husband reverts to his childhood dreams. He's got an assortment of rope lights, lanterns, twinkly lights etc that would make a shop envious. God! It's so good to be allowed to feel happy and celebrate eachother's being alive and around. That's all it is.

    It wasn't as if we were asking them to come to a pagan ritual in which we were going to dance naked and sacrifice them on the it! Or is that what they imagined?

  • under74

    I'm sorry for you and especially your kids gill. I think what might need to happen is you planning celebrations without them. I know it's hard not to invite them but for your kid's sake it might be good for them to have no expectaions of their grandparents showing up and letting them get on with the celebration with no hang ups.

    Just my opinion.

    All the best wishes for you and your family Gill.

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