Being engaged is the same as being married!

by Bonnie_Clyde 4 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Bonnie_Clyde

    My brother was engaged to a rather nice girl in our congregation back in the early sixties. During the engagement they decided that they wanted to call off the wedding. The same elder who counselled me not to go to college told them that they could not break their engagement as, "Being engaged is the same as being married." I think he used the reasoning that Joseph considering divorcing Mary when he found out she was pregant even though she was only promised in marriage. Matt. 1:19. They went through with the wedding, and what a miserable marriage they had. Not much later a pioneer sister and her fiance broke their engagement, and no one seemed to think it was a problem.

    I still seethe when I think of how drastically he affected our lives.

  • VM44

    That elder imposed ancient jewish wedding customs upon a modern engaged couple!

    This is what is called an anachronism, which is something out of place historically.

    The nitwit! Jewish customs are not Biblical edicts! He should have known better.


  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    Yup I remember that policy. When I was engaged way back in 1970 we were told that the engagement was like marriage except for the sex and living in the same place.

    The really odd thing to add to the insanity of wedding rules was that we had our legal wedding on Friday night and the JW wedding wasn't until Saturday (In Quebec at the time JWs could not perform marriages so we had a United Church minister perform the legal wedding)

    So legally we were wed. But the elders told us we could not be together on the Friday night because we did not have our scriptural wedding. If we had gone off together and had sex on the Friday night when we were legally married, we would have been DFed for having sex outside of marriage.

  • Sassy

    I don't think they punish the same as a marriage ending not according to the rules.. but I do remember they did have that line of thinking..

    but just as stupid is their not allowing divorces... but in the end, it was the reason I left.. so I guess I am glad

  • Cordelia

    i remember being told that in 1996!!

    tho if i remember rightly didnt joesph just walk mary over his doorstep and hey presto they were married!

    sorry if i feel alittle bitter that engagement can be considered the same as bible times when it suits but not marriage!

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