Happy To Read About Positive Experiences.

by Golf 5 Replies latest jw friends

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  Golf

  I don't know about you guys & girls but it makes me happy to read uplifting and encouraging experiences.
  
  Yes, there is light at the end of our tunnels. Reading positive experiences gives us hope. Keep em' coming.
  
  Golf
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  Golf
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  Golf

  No takers for this thread? For me, Heb.10:24 is not practiced, "...encouraging one another..."
  
  In the past few threads, interesting and positive experiences have been shared and this gives me an incentive to return to this forum. I'm accustomed to reading negative stories and it really doesn't perk me up. We all have experienced some type of negative experiences within the org. but has it got to the point that there's nothing worthwhile discussing? Do we allow bad experiences control our lives?
  
  Can you name some helpful suggestions to perk others up? How do you go about perking others up?
  
  
  Golf
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  serendipity

  Ok, this may not be what you expect. To get to the positive, I have to set the stage with the negative.

  I was abandoned by my mother at 18 months, but she rejoined my father and me one year later. The reconcilation was engineered by my paternal grandfather, who used the carrot of inheritance to buy my father's agreement. When she came back, fireworks exploded between my parents because they were confused, selfish, young and dumb. My father took his frustrations out on me by beating the crap out of me. My mother decided I was a brat and that she "had" to beat me into shape. And my uncle was molesting me.

  Over the next 6 years, my parents argued a lot and were both unhappy. My father changed jobs frequently and moved us around constantly. My mother was homesick for her family and hometown. They both continued to use me as a scapegoat for their frustrations with life and each other. My father devised all sorts of sadistic ways to punish me. My mother just preferred to punch me in the face and yank on my hair, pulling me from one side of the room to another.

  Then they found religion - JW's knocked on their door. It was 1973 and Armageddon was coming in 1975. The beatings and verbal abuse in the form of shaming intensified because my parents wanted us to survive. The JW religion had mixed results for our family life. Living by Bible principles helped my parents' marriage so that by the time my father died 10 years later, they were fairly happy with each other. We settled down and didn't move so much, on the elders' advice, so there was more stability. We also had a bit of a social life, compared to my parent's hermit life before. However, my father's application of JW parenting principles made me dislike him, so that I shed no tears for him when he died, because he & I had no relationship. My tears were for my mother and siblings, especially my sister since she was Daddy's girl and had no emotional connection with my mother.

  Despite all that, by being brought up as a JW, I did learn self-control, responsibility, discipline and a good work ethic. I learned to stand up for what I believed, even if it was unpopular. (This comfort level came in handy later when I made decisions that were unpopular with JWs.) Despite the actions of my parents and other JWs, I had a spark of faith in God. I even managed to entertain the possibility of forgiveness. I knew my parents didn't have loving parents or pleasant childhoods-living with the aftermaths of the Depression and WW2. Unfortunately, they continued the cycle of abuse with us, and religion was fuel to the fire. I think I've forgiven my father. I'm not so sure about my mother, but it's a goal. I honestly think I'm a better person because of my JW upbringing.

  I was baptized at 18. I decided I needed to live my life as I saw fit, in accord with my interpretation of the Bible. The WTS anti-college/career rhetoric didn't stop me. I knew I had to support myself, and I knew that there was nothing wrong with having material things. I went to college at 18, obtained a bachelor's degree and got a professional level job making good money. I've advanced as far as I want to in my career, after 20 years. I work for a company with good benefits. I make sure I get training to stay abreast of technology so that I can add value in my position. And I'm contemplating an MBA. I have a pension, a 401k, IRAs and savings. I see nothing wrong with planning for the future.

  Initially, I moved away to the 'big city', away from my JW family cocoon, though I'm closer to them now. I've read what I wanted, watched the movies that interested me, listened to music that I like. I've travelled. I've dated worldly men. I had a child, choosing not to marry her father, and I've raised her alone. I've bought a house. I've done a lot of things that most single JW women don't. I've been accused of being independent, like that's a bad thing. But I tried not to let JW-devised constraints hold me back, living by the Bible's standards instead. (well, except for the fornication thing.) And I've held my head up high, proud of my accomplishments, because, let me tell you, I've done them nearly alone, with very little help from my JW relatives or associates, who, of course, disagree with my choices and independence and are probably envious of my contentment with life.

  Most importantly, I broke the cycle of child abuse. I love my daughter more than life itself and I've tried very hard to be a loving parent. I prayed for patience and guidance, I read a lot of self-help and parenting books since I didn't know what responsible, kind, loving parenting was. She's a great kid, responsible and smart. I have every confidence that she'll be a happy, healthy, productive member of society. I'm very proud of her.

  I've done more than I ever dreamed as a child. And I have new dreams. I've looked for lessons, both good and bad, in my experiences to apply in other areas of my life. I used the brain God gave me to assess, plan, make good decisions (most of the time), and I didn't worry much about what JW's thought/think. I've been a success so far, and I've done this as a JW, though you'll not see this story in the pages of a WTS publication.
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  Golf

  Serendipity, wow, what a compelling story. I hope many on this forum get to read it, its'a must read. The lows and highs was something to read about.
  
  Yes, be very proud of your accomplishments especially with your child. Nothing like hugs for a child, giving hugs are powerful. Some years ago my grand-daughter was a sad case, her mom emotionally neglected her. When she would visit us, she was always depresssed, in tears and unhappy. So, I began to hug and everytime we see other. Today, what a change in her attitude. Your on the right track hugging your child.
  
  Let me relate two stories about two locals. One was being sexually abused by his uncle. When his uncle died and was laid out, he stop in just to spit on his face as all the family members looked on.
  
  Another local (a golfer) his dad was on his death bed in a hospital. He responded to his dad's request to see him. The father asked his son to forgive him for the way he treated him as a child, the son would not forgive his dad. These people were not JW's, so it happens to others.
  
  Your a survivor and a strong person, I love it!!!!!!!! Many thanks for sharing your story, yes, it was positive.
  
  Golf
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  RevFrank

  great