About a Funeral i went to...

by Dune 6 Replies latest jw friends

  • Dune
    Dune

    So I went to a funeral for a classmate that died recently. She wasnt a witness, so the service was in a church. It was crazy cause, I saw all these people I went to high school with and most of them were crying, even the "Jocks".

    Then i thought, "Will people cry at my funeral?" I mean, I've been to lots of funerals because most of the people in my congregatation are 70+. But i cant remember people ever crying at these funerals. I often pressumed that It was because witnesses had that much more hope because of the ressurection and paradise, etc.

    But then i realized something. If i were to die today, my brother would probably be the only person to be sad. I mean truly heartbroken. As a witness you really dont get many close friends (if any). You really cant divulge information and feelings to people who will turn on you.

    Its sort of like a trap when you think about it. Throughtout your 12 years of schooling (americans). You are taught not to associate with these people, not to join after school clubs or play sports. You are ordered to find friends in the congregation. But most of the time there are none, and if there are the relationships are superficial. So you are basically alone if you dont have a family or are married.

    I know you cant base love by whether or not someone cries for you at your funeral. And It really doesnt matter if people cry or feel sad at your funeral, cause you're dead. But It just amazes me how you can be around people for 10+ years but not really care for each other. It really just blows my mind.

    Any thoughts?

    ~Dune.

  • candidlynuts
    candidlynuts



    my family already considers me dead..



    i have fears that there will be NO ONE that will even claim my body, let alone cry over my death.



    conditional love sucks when you cant live under their conditions.

    edited to add: sorry for your loss dune..death of someone we know always makes us reflect. hugs

  • wednesday
    wednesday

    Candy,

    I understand, really I do. The JWS have sincerely messed up my life. It is so difficult for me to relate to people, even though I stopped attending some time ago. My brother would not spit on me if I was on fire.

    weds

  • blondie
    blondie

    Actually, based on "new light" the judging of the sheep and goats does not start until the beginning of the great tribulation when Jesus arrives with the angels on the clouds.

    So most JWs should be happy you died before the GT and will be resurrected.

    I heard this thought expressed many times by individual JWs after this new light came out in 1995. I'm surprised that JWs don't go door to door killing people to assure them a resurrection and for non-JWs to avoid destruction at Armageddon.

    ***

    w95 10/15 p. 19 How Will You Stand Before the Judgment Seat? ***

    We have long felt that the parable depicted Jesus’ sitting down as King in 1914 and since then making judgments—everlasting life for people proving to be like sheep, permanent death for the goats. But a reconsideration of the parable points to an adjusted understanding of its timing and what it illustrates.

    If we analyze Jesus’ activity in the parable, we observe him finally judging all the nations. The parable does not show that such judging would continue over an extended period of many years, as if every person dying during these past decades were judged worthy of everlasting death or everlasting life. It seems that the majority who have died in recent decades have gone to mankind’s common grave.

    In other words, the parable points to the future when the Son of man will come in his glory. He will sit down to judge people then living. His judgment will be based on what they have manifested themselves to be.

    This means, then, that Jesus’ ‘sitting down on his glorious throne’ for judgment, mentioned at Matthew 25:31, applies to the future point when this powerful King will sit down to pronounce and execute judgment on the nations.

    Understanding the parable of the sheep and the goats in this way indicates that the rendering of judgment on the sheep and the goats is future. It will take place after "the tribulation" mentioned at Matthew 24:29, 30 breaks out and the Son of man ‘arrives in his glory.’ (Compare Mark 13:24-26.) Then, with the entire wicked system at its end, Jesus will hold court and render and execute judgment.—John 5:30; 2 Thessalonians 1:7-10.

  • Honesty
    Honesty

    I am sorry for your loss

    I'm surprised that JWs don't go door to door killing people to assure them a resurrection and for non-JWs to avoid destruction at Armageddon.

    That's a scary thought, Blondie.

  • Frog
    Frog

    Dune you're absolutely right of course about a serious lack of sincere love inside the congregations, and even sadly amongst many jw families. It is bloody hard work to re-build networks when you leave everyone you've ever known and loved behind. I'm pretty sure that most of us here will have had similiar dark thoughts about who would come to our funerals if we died today, and who would be truley sad to loose us. I know this is easier said than done, but I guess it's up to us to put good people back into our lives. We can cry forever for the injustice that has been done to us for having been robbed of family and life-time family friends, and we could almost be forgiven for that, but in the end its no way to live. To me it doesn't so much matter what age you are when you leave the org, you still have the rest of your life ahead of you. There are plenty of good and sincere people out there, who love us and admire us for our strength once they get to know us. x

  • Cygnus
    Cygnus

    When I see people I knew in my years of schooling, some as far back as grammar school, I always apologize for being a stuck-up arrogant holier-than-thou SOB Jehovah's Witness. I usually hear "Oh you weren't that bad" but I know in my heart how I felt, and how I feel now. I even had a dream not long ago which reflected reality too much so, of a kid I befriended in 5th grade. He drew away from me, one day saying "All you do is call people 'loser' and other names." He was right, although I didn't care at the time or right through graduation. It likely explains why so few signed my senior yearbook, or why nobody kept in contact with me after school was over, and why I have dreams of my old schoolmates all the time. I'm very lucky to have 2 very close friends I knew in high school who would do anything for me today, but that's only because a) they're great people and b) I humbled myself and asked for their friendship. Of course when they first heard my JW-exit story they felt sorry for me. But they are the greatest friends a person could have and I count myself extremely fortunate to have them.

    That said, I don't even want to consider their reaction at my funeral, or vice versa. I've only had one close friend die, a JW girl everybody absolutely loved who was murdered 14 1/2 years ago. Off topic, but interestingly, 3 JW guys and myself made a pact that if we ever found her killer we'd torture and kill him Joshua of the Bible style, and let Jehovah sort it all out.

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