..tell me what you think. I am thinking of submitting this, and other things i've written to a newspaper or magazine..
The stories are all fiction, but all based on reality (unfortunately). But fortunately, you live and learn.
My friend called me today to tell me her boyfriend dumped her a few days ago. She told me how all of a sudden he was “confused” and “busy” and “needed time”. I told her confusion is for people who are too stupid to make decisions. I don’t think she heard me because she was bawling so loudly on the phone, the neighbors’ dog started howling.
“I told you that fiend was no good for you!” I said “Didn’t you always say he would never talk to you? You always felt lost?”
“Y—Yee_Yesss. (wail) But I…I…know (hicupp) He loved me (sniffle). He told me so! I dunno what happened (waaaaaah)”
“Well sweets something must’ve happened if that no good son of an ass just up and left.”
She continued crying I didn’t know what to do except….
“Girl get in the shower and put on the skankiest outfit you can find. We are going out!”
I thought she would argue, but thankfully she didn’t and told me something about how she just needs to find a guy to fling with and get drunk but I admittedly was thinking about what shoes I was going to wear.
We met up and “The Lounge” and bopped our heads to Jay-Z as we held our cosmos.
“There’s no one here Mad, lets go. I want to go home eat an entire carton of Haggen Dazs call him 50 times maybe he will come back if he sees I care”
“He wont. Trust me!! If he cared he’d come back with or without the calls. His loss, you are fabulous. Now lets go dance!”
We danced and danced the night away. She did in fact get her fair share of numbers, and went home slurring something about “that sum-a-ma bitcchhh doesssssnt knoowww what he’s missing”, and how she hopes the next girl will “kick him in the god-damn balls!”
The next day we met up for what I like to call Hangover Heaven-greasy bacon, egg and cheese on a bagel and a hot large coffee.
We started to analyze the guys that we met last night. They were broken down as such:
Boy #1: Just got out of a 55-year relationship (I’m exaggerating it was like 8 years) and is looking to “have fun” NEXT
Boy #2: Is 21 and all he does is drink and smoke cuz hey why not. errrr:PASS
Boy #3: Drunk, and repeatedly said “youurrrrree butiful” NOPE
Boy #4:Has a kid and not a lot of time. Ugh!
Boy#5: Has a girlfriend but also has “friends”. (I told her to rip his card up)
“You see. There are NO men in this God forsaken city” she said.
“There are. I mean just look at me…OH wait that bastard fucked up on me too. Ok so maybe im not the best example but I know that If you are fabulous eventually the universe will give you whats due-and that’s a good man who isn’t confused, scared, has no time, disrespectful, a liar, a cheater or plays with your emotions.” Eventually you will get someone to love you for real. And its worth waiting for”
She solemnly said “I guess” but I know it’d kick in eventually. I know that when you think you will never love again you do.
We parted ways and I went home thinking: is it us? Does our past anchor us back and holds us from enjoying the present, or the future even? After all the heartaches and breakups and disappointments do we just convince ourselves that all men are the spawn of the devil and life would be a lot easier without them?
A few days later she called me and told me how on her way out of the diner, she dropped her bag and a nice young gentlemen helped her pick up her belongings. She told me how he smiled and asked for her number. And how a couple of nights later he took her out to dinner and he was wonderful. I told her that was great and to enjoy it.
I thought it started again, how it’d always came back. How your heart would flicker at the thought of a new possibility and die down when the possibility was shattered. And how’d it always pick up again. That was reality and that’s where we lived. I suppose it was better than living in a dream.
Of course, it’d also be nice to slash his tires and put gum in his hair! J
THE END