My husband and son and I stopped going to meetings about 18 months ago. I still have a daughter, her husband, his mum and dad, my elderly mum, my 2 sisters and nieces still in. I would love to tell them what ive found out but I think it would backfire so hold my piece. They have a view of everlasting life, a safe life with friends and security, a life with a hope for the future!!! If I told them the "truth" that I know, what do I give them in exchange? at the time it was I who went looking and found. Is it my duty to tell them ?? What the hell do I tell them. what do I GIVE them.???????
What have we to offer ???
by vitty 7 Replies latest jw friends
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Ingenuous
Depending on the type of people they are, you are giving them the chance for personal integrity and intellectual honesty - and a life lived by choice as opposed to coercion. You are giving the truth of yourself, not just information, and being there for them because of being true to yourself is quite a gift.
It's up to them what they hold on to and what they rid themselves of. I wonder sometimes if we think we have more power than we actually do - very few people can make or break someone else's life. We only have as much power as we are given.
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thinker
My husband and son and I stopped going to meetings about 18 months ago.
Good for you!
I still have a daughter, her husband, his mum and dad, my elderly mum, my 2 sisters and nieces still in.
Sorry to hear that.
I would love to tell them what ive found out but I think it would backfire so hold my piece.
If they don't ask you directly, that sounds like a good plan.
They have a view of everlasting life, a safe life with friends and security, a life with a hope for the future!!!
Yes, but I think you realize that is all an illusion.
If I told them the "truth" that I know, what do I give them in exchange? at the time it was I who went looking and found. Is it my duty to tell them ??
That's a hard question to answer. I think you're saying that if you destroy their faith without any alternatives then they'd be lost. Without knowing them personally, I can't say if this would be true or not. Perhaps you can just wait for them to ask you why you've changed your mind about the WT. They must be curious.
What the hell do I tell them. what do I GIVE them.???????
If the time comes and they want the truth, then they will find their own way to cope and then determine for themselves what to believe, just like you did. If they ask about the WT you owe them the truth, but you don't have to give them any other beliefs to fill the void. Most ex-JWs enjoy the freedom of choosing what they will believe next. Take care, thinker
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vitty
Thamks thinker, Ive noticed that youve only done 500 or so posts since 00. And I appreciate your reply
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Narkissos
I agree with the above posts. There's no need (and little opportunity actually) to snatch people out of Wonderland as long as they are satisfied there. Just because it is a fake we have nothing similar to offer.
Only when they get tired of it may they get interested in the modest gifts of reality.
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jgnat
If I told them the "truth" that I know, what do I give them in exchange? at the time it was I who went looking and found. Is it my duty to tell them ?? What the hell do I tell them. what do I GIVE them.???????
Here's the missing question, "When do I tell them?" You tell them when they are ready. They'll tell you when that is. Unlike JW's who feel obliged to give the saving news to total strangers regardless of their receptivity, you can show greater respect to those you love by waiting until they are ready to hear. Also, this has the advantage of engaging their own power to make decisions for their life. In the meantime, what do you give them? Lots of loves and hugs. Especially your daughter, find excuses to go do fun things together. The more time on the outside being "normal", the better. They will know by your example that there is life after the society.
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That Nate Guy
My husband and son and I stopped going to meetings about 18 months ago. I still have a daughter, her husband, his mum and dad, my elderly mum, my 2 sisters and nieces still in. I would love to tell them what ive found out but I think it would backfire so hold my piece. They have a view of everlasting life, a safe life with friends and security, a life with a hope for the future!!! If I told them the "truth" that I know, what do I give them in exchange? at the time it was I who went looking and found. Is it my duty to tell them ?? What the hell do I tell them. what do I GIVE them.???????
Hi. If there's a God, then God is God regardless of whether or not the WTBTS ever existed. I would offer them a variety of spiritual practices and principles rather than a new set of dogmas to enslave their minds. "God" isn't a dogma, or an autocratic religious org, or a book. You know that, but take a step into some spiritual practices. I've been meditating for thirty-two years now, having started about a year after I was disfellowshipped. It's a wonderful spiritual practice. It doesn't come with any dogmas attached or any religious despots to drag you down.
Chanting can be very beneficial, as can be prayer and contemplation.
Simply because the WTBTS and the JayDubs (a term I coined 33 years ago) are a crock, doesn't mean there isn't anything out there for you and your relatives. You certainly aren't doing them any favors by not helping them out of the Organization. Come on, you know as well as I do they aren't really happy.
I still teach meditation (Zazen, a breathing meditation) for free online, so if you're interested let me know.
THAT NATE GUY -
littlerockguy
Vitty:
I know in my case, as well as may be your case, nobody could tell me anything. I had to see and discover things for myself; but that is just me. You may just have to find a way to show them and let them see for themselves. As far as what would take the organizations place in their lives, the freedom from that organization is different for everybody so I dont know what it would be for them.