Much ado about wiskers
I was a young man leaving to go to Bethel about 30 years ago, back in the early 80's. My congregation elders gave me "counsel" to shave my mustache because they had heard that Bethelites do not have them. I had a mustache since I could grow one, and being young and vain it was fairly traumatic to shave it, but shave it I did. It seemed weird to me right away that I could be a part-time pioneer in my own congregation with a mustache, yet not be able to keep it if I became a Bethelite. Oh well. I did as I was told.
Well, when I got to Bethel I noticed lots of guys had mustaches. One brother even looked to me like he kept a very low shaved beard. I was perplexed. So, I eventually got the nerve up to ask one of the Bethel Elders I knew about it. What he told me puzzled me and still does to this day.
He told me that latino and black brothers were allowed to have mustaches at Bethel because it was "their culture". Since it was "cultural" to have mustaches for these dark skinned brothers back home, then it was OK for them to keep their facial hair in Bethel too. Of course, the white guys had to shave theirs as there was no such "culture" of facial hair. Also, the one black brother who I pointed out had a beard, this elder told me, wasn't really a beard at all, it was just that he got really bad bumps (acne) for shaving close to his kinky-haired face. He was allowed to grow his beard out "temporarily" so that his bumps and acne would go away. After that, he would shave it. So, no I was told, it's not really a beard he was wearing, it was a "temporary grow-out" for medical reasons.
Hmmm.
At the time of being told these things, my mind just reeled and I didn't have anything to say. I was mute and caught off guard by this. I became friends with the bearded black brother later on and for the record, he rarely shaved it. He only did it from time to time to placate the elders. When he did shave, the poor guy would get bumps and acne all over again because his facial hair would grow into his skin if cut too close to the skin (what shaving is) because his hair was so curly.
Sheesh.
To make this poor guy go through this all the time seemed silly to me. I asked myself that didn't nature just show everyone that this poor brother shouldn't shave at all, ever? Now, thinking about it just angers me.
I was incredulous at this latino-or-black-mustache-is-OK explanation. I don't recall exactly how the ensuing conversation went with this elder later, but I do remember a plethora of questions I had for him about it later after I got a chance to think it over. I'll summarize my questions here, but they were not necessarily in this order and keep in mind this was a discussion, not a series of questions I had. I just want to keep this note as short as possible, so I'll put the questions I had in bullet form:
- Isn't it racist to treat brothers differently, simply based on the color of their skin?
- What if you just "looked" latin or hispanic or black, but really were not. Was is OK to have a mustache then?
- What if you were mixed race, half white and black say, could you grow half a mustache?
- Who determines what is "cultural" for which ethnic groups and where does this cultural difference acceptability end?
- For example, isn't it "cultural" for Hawaiian brothers to wear big floral shirts with no ties out in Service in Hawaii, so can they do that if they come to Bethel?
- For that matter, isn't it "cultural" for some societies to allow their women to go topless, so, then would it then be OK for them to go topless at Bethel?
- Why is this rule only at Bethel and not my home congregation? Shouldn't we know what the culture is there and shouldn't Christian standards be the same everywhere?
He didn't like these questions and pretty much told me that was the way it was and that I shouldn't be such a wise acre. A bit annoyed, he left me.
So, after more musing on my part about this, I just couldn't help myself. I just had to have a follow-up conversation with him about the facial hair issue in general, because he got me to thinking more about it. Here are some highlights of my follow-up questions:
- Why is it wrong at all for Christians to wear mustaches or even beards for that matter? Didn't God make it grow on our faces? Doesn't God want men to have beards and mustaches? What's next, no eyebrows?
- How does shaving or not shaving the God-given hair on my face have any reflection on my faith?
- If the argument that we don't have beards is because they are not accepted in a "business setting", then why could I point out many CEOs, CFOs, CIOs and so forth from the Fortune 500 company's that have beards? Wouldn't the business world know if beards were acceptable better than a JW in Bethel? How do these business guys with beards flourish if it is so objectionable?
- If the argument that we don't have beards is because they are not accepted in a "business setting", then why does that even matter at all to us? Isn't the business world in general "worldly", so why care what the world thinks?
- The Jews set themselves apart by their appearance, couldn't we as JWs all do that by all of us simply growing our beards out and showing ourselves "not part of the word"?
- Did the Society really think we would be less objectionable and less of pariahs in the world's eyes by having clean shaven faces?
The Bethel Elder simply stopped trying to answer my questions and walked away shaking his head. He muttered under his breath that I was being ridiculous. But I suppose a not-formally-written, but otherwise enforced Bethel "rule" that allowed black brothers to do one thing while disallowing the same thing to white brothers is not ridiculous?
I have brought this up in many ways, many times, both in and out of Bethel over the years, but this particular discussion seems to always end the same way with any JW Elder - deaf ears. After all, it seems much easier for them to take the JW "much ado about wiskers" stance than to just let people be about this very personal issue.
By the way, guess what I'm wearing on my face right now?
LivingTheDream