To serving elders

wannabefree

This is not meant to be judgmental, so don't take it harshly.

Does it not disturb your conscience to serve the congregation as a shepherd when you don't believe?

Its one thing to remain somewhat active to keep family ties, but the congregation looks to you as a shepherd in a faith that they hold dearly.

I just ask out of curiosity because I have thought about this myself. I stepped away as an elder to focus my efforts on my family well before I discovered the error of my faith. But I can't help but think that I would feel as if I was betraying the congregation.

If I was a sincere believer, I would trust that I could go to you as my spiritual shepherd who held my same beliefs. I would be quite upset to find out the elder I trusted was an apostate.

Right or wrong I hold no opinion on the matter and am not judging, it just causes a confused feeling in me and I wonder what your thoughts might be about this?

Thanks.

inbetween

I think, it depends very much on the circumstances.

there are also good reasons for either action, IMHO.

As an elder, you have a certain influence on a local level, that may allow you to bring i some more liberal ideas, of course limited by the borders of the WTS world. However, often the WTS (maybe for legal reasons) is very unclear in their directions, and leaves room for the local BOE (example: what is loose conduct, what is exemplary, what is stumbling etc...)

Also you might well be known as approachable and not closeminded, when it comes to certain doubts or questions.

I experience this frequently, that people are more open about their concerns towards myself, so if there is anybody doubting, I may be able to help. However it all depends, if a person is ready, I would not take it on myself to destroy somebodies faith, even if it is false. To awake and learn the truth about the troof, one needs to be ready, and its not easy in the beginning, when all you hoped for and believed in crashes down.

Additionally there are those, who suffer from guilt, because of not doing as much. Also there, as an elder, you are able to do damage control, by helping them understand, what undeserved kindness ( or rather grace) really means.

Stepping down, even though it would be a big release for oneself, would just raise red flags with others, they would view you as spiritual weak or somehting is wrong with you, gossip starts etc. Then your ability to help is very limited.

However, it is hard to officially stand for something, you dont agree anymore, it also bothers the conscience. Its hard to sit through meetings and listen to some nonsense, even harder if you are on stage yourself and have to talk about it.

As mentioned it depends on circumstances, and whom you plan to help to get out (family, friends etc) Stepping down as first step of a fade also needs to be times and planned carefully.

Just my 2 cents,

inbetween

wannabefree

inbetween: thanks for your input ... do you consider yourself a Christian or have you lost all faith?

elderelite

I really try to look at it positivly, as inbetween stated. All the positives are there and even some that were not mentioned...

but it bothers me every f***ing day....

miseryloveselders

but it bothers me every f***ing day....

Same here. Not a day goes by I don't have an internal debate going on in my head and heart. I guess it all depends on how much one is willing to compromise to avoid disturbing the peace of family, friends, and a tarnished reputation. As far as doctrine is concerned, that plays a minor role when it comes to what Elders are dealing with. If your serving, chances are that if the phone rings at 3am and some distraught sister is on the opposite end of the phone, 99.5% of the time she's not calling because she's concerned that 607 BCE might not be the correct date Jerusalem fell to the Babylonians. Not saying that Elders don't deal with doctrinal questions, but those questions pale in comparison to the moral dilemmas, health problems, financial problems, and family disputes an Elder will deal with. When considering that, an Elder has the potential to be a shoulder one can lean upon, or an ear for someone who needs to get something off their chest. When an Elder, or anybody for that matter, can help out with these situations, it makes it easier to continue serving while at the same time keeping one's reservations about this religion to themself.

stuckinamovement

Yes it bothers me greatly. I know that I am a hypocrite in some ways and hate myself for that, but I also know that as an Elder I can be a force for good especially when it comes to judicial matters. There have been none DFed on the committees I have recently served on. I sincerely love people and want to assist them in any way possible.

In terms of teaching, if I can't buy it, I won't sell it. A doubt if planted carefully, carries more weight when it comes from an elder. One other thing to consider is how hard it is to actually step down without creating suspicion. I am still planning my resignation, I just need to "consider my steps". Sure makes it tough to sleep at night though.

SIAM

elderelite

misery, I like your take. I have thought about that, and a kind sister who knows my dilemma has mentioned some similar things that help me through the day. but what SIAM said is where I seem to default to . I feel a bit like Judas at times. I know its not true. My mind knows. but my heart says otherwise. I value loyalty above all else, and I feel disloyal. I know its the org that has truly been disloyal, but that dosent excuse my actions. I think one thing that is troubling me more than all else is what SIAM says about not selling what I dont buy. I am the WT study conductor. I have come to HATE the weekend meeting for the position it puts me in. But we are a small body and there is no one else to take it without answering a whole lot of questions I'm not quite ready to answer..

Wrong Way

I haven't problem with that.

The authority is not my truth, but the truth is my authority.

brotherdan

I can see both sides. I for one think it may be an IMPORTANT thing for there to be elders that know the truth about the WTS. They can be very valuable on the inside on helping ones that are suffering from guilt because of having doubts. It DOES put them into a very sticky situation, but I think that if they are discerning they can help such ones to see the truth about the organization too without getting themselves in trouble.

I sort of view it as internal spies? They are still on the inside, but they know the truth now. They are in a very unique and special position to help others. They can incorporate small seeds of truth into their talks that can get others to think, but are not straightforward enough to get them into trouble.

I don't know how I would handle it though. I'm having a tough time being asked to pray at a gathering of JWs. It's tricky to know what to say and what not to say. I think we ALL have to stay true to our conscience and not violate it. So it can be a tough situation.

DaCheech

i stay in to keep my family. i even try to let my kids play it out (no flag salute, no holidays, etc).

But I stepped down as soon as the chance had risen.

could not sacrifice my family health to them.

To serving elders

Share this