Another marriage lost at the hands of the JWs

marriedtojw

It's been a while since I've posted anything.. but just wanted to throw out a quick thanks to everyone who helped me when I was in need... My wife has now shunned me completely.. yes we're still married, however she and her family refuse to talk to me at all since she stopped coming home about a month or so ago, even to discuss reconciliation, separation, or divorce.

On the surface it sounds like she's leaving an option open or on the table.. but then I was looking through craigslist when I found her engagement ring and wedding ring for sell....

I have to say I'm lost and confused... and deeply hurt... especially since she didn't tell me anything before-hand and we are still married... I'm more lost trying to figure out how someone who professes to be a deep jehovah's witness could do this to another person..I haven't seen my kids in more than a month (haven't pushed it because she's about to have another baby) but now she's going to force me to have to fight in court just to see my kids... something I DON'T want to do but am going to have to....

I guess nothing else matters to JW's when they want to get what they want rather than what Jehovah wants...Anyways just wanted to update you all and thank you for listening to my rants over the last year or so that I've been posting here...

notverylikely

Dude, that blows. PM me, me and my wife just split up over the religion.

Hadit

I'm so sorry! How awful. All I can say is the hatred spewing from this organization is toxic and poisonous. I'm so sorry you have to suffer like this. I hope you are able to figure out how to see your children. Please document everything that is happening to the children. It will be helpful to have documented evidence in court of what this religion is subjecting your children to. The craigslist ad is so disgusting and spiteful.

My thoughts are with you. Please hang in there.

Take good care of yourself.

Hadit

Aussie Oz

That sucks

make sure you do go to court for your kids or she/they will screw you and the kids over.

get you hands on the WT publication 'jehovahs witnesses and child custody', it lets you know how they will try to make you look like the bad guy.

oz

all the best, it is a really tough time, i know...

ex-witness

Read all the information you can on how to combat JWs in custody battles. Get their information and use it against them.

Also, read the Art of War by Sun Tzu. (It's teachings and suggestions work in ANY conflict.)

Godspeed, and good luck.

ex-witness

garyneal

Hey, got both your text messages and I just got a moment to post. Glad to see others have posted already.

Remember what you told me about her reaction to the marriage counselor? Document that. The courts will certainly frown upon her for this. As Ozzie suggested, get a copy of that publication concerning child custody. I may have a copy of it from where Yknot posted a link sometime ago. Best to get prepared and get a lawyer if you can afford one.

It's sad to see people hide behind their 'cloak' of religious self righteousness, feeling that they can justify bad behavior to others simply because they feel like that they are in God's exclusive club. However, God will not be mocked and what they sow, they will eventually reap. Just concentrate on making things better for yourself and your kids now.

In time, you'll learn to forgive her and begin living well again and living well is the best revenge. For what it's worth, I've asked my prayer circle at work to include your name on the prayer list and I will ask the people at the church to pray for you too.

God speed my friend and feel free to contact me anytime in the future.

Lozhasleft

Married - I'm so sorry to hear about whats happening with you, and so sad for your children stuck in the middle too. This organisation has so much to be ashamed of. Take care buddy and remember that nothing ever stays the same so things will improve ....

Loz x

yknot

I am so sorry yall are going through this......

I agree with what has said above but only as a divided strategy.....

Pregnancy hormones can make some of us really unstable and cause us to give into our greatest fears even to the point of creating the catalyst.

So while seeking legal representation is smart and logical, keep in mind you might be the only one who is working with logic versus beserk emotions. Gently confront her about the Craigslist, point out the previous option and that you are confused as to what she wants and how Jehovah would approve.... (cite Mal 2:15-16, Matt 5: 31-32, 19:9, 1 Cor 7:13-- pointing out that you are 'agreeable' so how could she disobey Jehovah)

Ask her what she wants, tell her how much you love her, the kids and yall being a family........ try and discern if her hormones are causing her to test you into proving loyalty because her greatest fear is you being disloyal and abandoning her for a nasty legal battle (ya that ain't sane but she is pregnant)

If she tries to emotionally blackmail you into the KH, remind her gently she is violating her own church's stance

** ed pp. 24-25 Moral Values That Merit Respect ***
Religiously Divided Households
In some families, only one parent is a Witness of Jehovah. In such a situation, the Witness parent is encouraged to recognize the right of the non-Witness parent also to instruct the children according to his or her religious convictions. Children exposed to different religious views experience few, if any, ill effects. In practice, all children have to decide what religion they will follow. Naturally, not all youths choose to follow the religious principles of their parents, whether Jehovah’s Witnesses or not.

That said above about emotional blackmail.......I would suggest you be open to equal compromise........You could attend occassionally with her if she with you, you-Memorial, her- Xmas.

Little Imp

Hadit

The craigslist ad is so disgusting and spiteful.

I was interested to see you using the word "spiteful" as I always thought one of the Elders in our Congregation was spiteful. It is not a word that should ever had to be used about someone who purports to be a Christian.

However, they do seem to be a very spiteful breed.

LI

Aussie Oz

Yes, document everything.

As Yknot said... you may be the only one working with logic.

as hard as it can be, remain the most calm and sensible, keep your cool.

as weird as it sounds, i had to 'out christian' the christian...

oz

Another marriage lost at the hands of the JWs

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