This is a forum of people seeking refuge from bullying, taunts, oppression and mind games.
How do you heal such wounds if your own brothers-in-banishment treat you with cold, heartless contempt?
It doesn't cost any poster here one shiny penny to be respectful when disagreeing with their wounded comrades.
There is really just no excuse, in my opinion for getting PERSONAL.
Personal means actually NAMING a person and referring to them in a way that provokes a defense on their part to a perceived insult.
A general statement such as "the Rich" or "the Poor" or "Democrats" or "Republicans" is quite different from a statement about "Joe", "Mary", "Jose" or that places them in a disparaging context.
Example: "Republicans are racist" is quite different from "Joe is racist." Both are provocative. The 2nd is PERSONAL.
1.An "unwelcomed" statement directed toward person A by person B is made.
2.AS PERCEIVED by person A, these statements are intimidating, hostile or offensive.
3.This is harrassment.
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The hostility can be covert.
What might, on the surface, appear to be a simple statement of fact might be harassment.
Example:
A strange man walks up to your wife in the grocery store and says to her:
"Those shorts sure do look good on you, ma'am."
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If those statements are sexual in nature it is sexual harrassment. If the statements are about, family, finances, character or reputation instead--it remains harrassment.
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It is a hostile act to call people out.
It tampers with their privacy and their right to pursuit of happiness in the Constitutional sense. This is why laws are being enacted and enforced.
Today the common term is "CYBER-BULLYING". The use of the Internet or text messages to start rumors, defamation or reveal personal information about specific persons by name is harrassment.
Often bad manners, anti-social and immature behavior are seen as "mere" expressions of personal opinion WITHOUT REGARD to how injurious they are.
The continued use of language, opinions, references and inuendo specifically by naming people and ridiculing them, devaluing them and baiting them for follow up attacks is so much a part of Political in-fighting it has invaded TV, Radio, Newpapers and conversation.
Can any of us say this is creating a Better World?
If you aren't part of the Solution then.....you may be the cause of the Problem.
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We can learn from each other. It just takes patience, fellow feeling and the willingness to be wrong. That is the essence of humility.
However, not all offending posters are merely frustrated and emotionally volatile.
There are certain personalities who seek out certain other posters (enemy's list?) and stir them up with taunts, jibes, insults, provocations and baited-arguments (Troll style). Can this be anything other than Premeditated Intent?
(The same people provoke the same incitements to war over and over and over.)
THE DIVIDING LINE
Look at any "fight" on any Topic.
Look at who is willing to list reasons, causes, effects and cite sources......THEN...
Look at who is filabustering, getting off topic, picking on the other person and name-calling.
When the bait is taken it becomes mere sport-fishing for one and a counterfeit debate just to provoke as public spectacle.
Honest debate ends with the poster who just won't let go after all has been said. They just keep growling and baring their fangs...
It makes coming to JW-net a hostile enviornment and uphill battle rather than an arena for idea-exchange, growth and healing.
OFFENDING MIND GAMES
1. Personal hostility masquerading as jokes at another person's expense
2. Discounting, diverting and undermining every statement on a personal level
3. Passive aggressive baiting/whining
All the above are motivated by feelings of inferiority or superiority--with no middle ground in sight.
One person looks at the other as condescending and belittling. The other person sees a Troll itching for a pretext for commeuppance.
PROVOCATION
1. Topic subject introduced with several issues raised to support the thesis.
2. Individual poster seizes on ONE issue and deconstructs, distorts and creates a Straw Man version
3. Other posters (arriving later) ONLY read only the last comment and do not bother reading the OP.
4. The distorted Straw Man version of the OP becomes the NEW topic and side-tracks the discussion.
5. The person who starts the Topic is always playing catch-up. Always behind the curve responding. Unless that Topic originator has
ALL DAY at their disposal to put out straw man fires---the Topic turns into mutation after mutation.
6.Mean spirited posters bring in like-minded "others" who pile on and conversations break out with EACH OTHER high-fiving the glee of baiting!
7.A breaking point is reached. Flame wars begin.
SOLUTION?
If somebody smacks you upside the head verbally you can:
1: Be Jesus and give them the other side to smack
2: Warn them off and disconnect
3: Join the fight and create a Flame War
4: Cry out for a Moderator
5: Continue slogging away with facts, reasons, persuasive responses for the rest of those participating
6.I propose a special NEW SECTION on JWnet called PANKRATION
Any topic that is argumentative in a personal way is dropped into PANKRATION.
This thread is not locked or shut down it is PRIVATE. Lurkers or newbies looking for solace, advice, counsel or sharing WON'T BE CONTAMINATED. Only those who REGISTER and understand that PANKRATION is a nasty fist fight and not an upbuilding civilized part this Discussion board.
This allows posters with bad manners, nits to pick and hostile intentions to go at each other without censorship.
The JWn member who simply loves grandstanding by provoking controversy can indulge themselves without giving the rest a bad reputation.
They aren't shunned...they are allowed the freedom for Private encounters of the worst kind.
Simple. Efficient and civilized.
I got the idea from visiting the CHRISTADELPHIAN DISCUSSION BOARD.
The Pankration (Greek: "all powers") is a forum for pre-arranged debates. It is named after an ancient Olympic event which combined wrestling with boxing to produce a grueling combat sport.
