Tell us a little about yourself and your family.
Just me basically, kids & dogs left a long time ago.
Worked for many years & more or less retired.
Might get another dog when I don't mind being tied down again!
Were you a born in or a convert?
Convert
Are your parents / family JWs?
Not parents, 1 of my sisters sad to say is STUCK IN.
How many generations have been JWs?
Started with me. :-(
Did you hold any position in the WTS? (MS, Elder etc...)
Do not have the right anatomy for a head honcho position, so the only 2 positions left were... sitting on my butt at the mtgs & walking upright from d2d!
Did you *really* believe in the bible, in spirits (angels, demons)?
I tried hard...very hard to 'feel' that god was real but there was a lot of static in the air waves I guess! Demons ... creeped me out!
Did you get baptised? When and why?
Yes, thought that being dunked would somehow ...work magic!
It didn't!
What was the initial trigger that made you start questioning things?
After such an emotional build-up, and GB's counting the days left befor the end...
1975 was such a great disappointment and betrayal! I left some years later but came back still (omg) thinking THEY were the TRUTH!
2010 generation flip flop ...flipped me right onto the internet, onto the TTATT & right out of this high control/dangerous cult!
I finally realized this was not about me being weak or disloyal, it was all about the lies, cover-ups and betrayal of WTBS!
Where did you find information? Internet sites? Books?
Internet big time & Crisis of a Conscience
How difficult or painful was the process of leaving?
Roller Coaster comes to mind... every discovery gutted me, then when I recovered ......euphoria, jubilation & a lot sobbing!
Was it a big dramatic exit or a careful quiet fade?
Still in the Fade... but very careless about it ...except for my children, I don't care what anyone thinks or does now.
My kids are a whole other thing ...my soft spot & my biggest weakness. Black mail is a terrible weapon that this cult holds over us!
Did you convince anyone else to leave with you?
Not yet! Saved some from ever joining tho.
How were your family relations affected by your decision?
Some pre shunning, not df or totally open about my stance. They are confused but won't talk about it. Kind of subtley avoid me.
Were you or are you still being shunned by those who didn't leave?
Many jw's I see...especially the pioneers, dutifully pre shun me, some nice persons still say hi ...how are you doing.
How long have you now been out?
About 3 - 4 years.
Was there anything you looked forward to doing when you left?
Having a normal life ...maybe finding a loving life partner. It was exciting to think that though JW's are 73% female ...I now had all of the whole wide world to choose a mate from....pretty much 50 / 50! (giggle)
What are you most proud of achieving since you left?
I have completed some college programs, become very aware of everything, trying to become a critical thinker ... don't think that I will reach the heights of Christopher Hitchens by any stretch of the imagination though! :-)
Is there anything you miss about life in the congregation?
Absolutly nothing at all. I do remember my children sitting beside me and miss their presence in my life but the HALL part means nothing!
Red pill or blue pill? Do you regret waking up to reality at all?
Can't ever remember which pill is which but...haha .... even tho I was captive for 50 years ....& some have said "it is better not to enlighten those who are older " ...I say bring it on ...I love knowing the REAL TRUTH & hate being in the dark .......I also KICK ASS pretty damn good!!!!!!!!!!!!
Did you become an atheist or transfer your faith elsewhere?
I thought that I would be "born again" perhaps ...I did try... but it lasted only about 2 or 3 weeks! Now I am just a lovely human.
How do you now feel about religion in general?
"Religion ruins everything"Hitch ....I belive it to be divisive & the cause of most persecution & unhappiness in the world! Do Not Need It!
Do you feel any guilt celebrating xmas or birthdays or doing any other JW "no-no"s?
As a child I had xmas ... this year I choose not to be "in your face" about it, but when I look thru the stores & on the street & in windows TREES all lit up with coloured lights... the music OMG .................. I JUST CAN"T STOP SMILING for the wonder of it all !No guilt.
(wonder... but not religious/jesus BD)
Have you attended any face-to-face meetups of ex-JWs?
Yes, 2 lovely people from jwn .... nicest thing I've ever done.
It has brought special meaning to my life & has brought up deepseated jw problems that now are gone, or going.
Describe your circle of friends - mostly other ex-JWs or regular people?
Small group of ex jw's ...starting to grow bigger as I find jw's from the past.
Lots of regular persons .. but not really friends yet, more like regular associates.
Some family that I had stupidly given up for watchtower!
Do you tell people about your JW past?
Have done,... 1 or 2 that I was sorry I did, but then one couple who have been absolutely marvelous about it. At this point tho ...it is pretty much over & done with!
Do you feel animosity or pity toward current JWs?
I laugh at the snooty ones .....too funny! For the most part I do feel sorry for them, frustrated by their denial but, they just aren't getting it!
How do you respond to witnesses when they call at your door?
Never happens! LOL
Storm the barricades or tend to the wounded? (do you favor activism or support)
Both ... more supportive now, but if it comes to a fight for my kids ...WATCH OUT!
Never underestimate me WT!
What do you think is the most effective approach to reaching people still in?
Patience, asking questions & asking for advice. Don't flaunt your new lifestyle!
Do you think the WTS can or should be destroyed, will continue on as-is or grow / change?
It should be gone yesterday! ....I think they may "slit their own throat" yet!
How has your life been impacted by your JW past?
I never planned to retire, so started saving money a bit late!
My children were impacted by a decision to let them leave school way too soon. When kids are out late at mtgs they do quite poorly, the next day. Wt always downplayed schools importance.
I find it very hard to fit into the real world ...still.
I make friends easily but then I am not really sure what comes next or how to nurture the relationship.
Are there things in your life you blame the WTS for?
I hate LIARS & they LIED to me ....& all of us.
I am poorer because of them, I listened to very bad advice that really harmed me!
I lost many friends & family members that will never come back.
I lived for the future ...instead of knowing this life ...is all we get!
As an 18 year old I was spontaneous, impetuous, passionate, funny, warm, bubbly, out spoken....then I agreed to a bible watchtower study... and bingo that all changed. I felt pressured to conform to WT personhood,
which made me a submissive, boring, overly serious, wt pushing drone! YUK!
So now I AM ME again, my real self....working on a few hang ups, but loving it!
JW upbringing - a protection or a curse?
This refers to my children ...only morals (maybe) the rest, an awful curse!
How do you fill your time now it's not filled with meetings and field service?
Mtgs & FS ....doesn't even register on the scale of things ...just like I never did it!
I do not like my life to be so full ...actually. I need time to just think or read or plan.
Do you still have an interest in JW beliefs and doctrines?
OMG NO ..... only the bit I want to use for exposure of it!
How much of your time is still spent on JW related matters?
Only here really .....once my life is shaped how I would like it, I may only pop in to say hi .....and be pleased with how great everyone is doing & maybe words of 'wisdom' (haha) to the newbies. Luv newbies.
What do you think of the ex-JW community?
Marvelous, careing, brilliant, growing, forward thinking, hurting, healing great bunch of people!
Do you see yourself still being associated with the ex-JW community in 5 or 10 years time?
Very possibly .... but limited.
Do you fear the future?
No, at first I was shocked about the LIVING FOREVER LIE but now, no.
What advice would you give to anyone starting the journey of leaving the WTS?
Slow down, take care of your health, start being nice to "wordly" people, join some group or class .....and start digging for information. Join JWN, JWFacts, etc.
What would you change in your life if you could go back and talk to yourself?
Say no to the bible watchtower study. Do not worry about what others think or say about you!
Be yourself .... there is no one like you! Really appreciate LIFE, it is amazing!
Do you have any regrets about life since you left?
Wish I had left sooner.
Can we read your life-story anywhere? (links to online or books)
HHmmmm ...feel like I just wrote one ... :-)
Want to share your own story? Please use the Interview with an Apostate: Template and post it in the Personal Experiences & Reunions section with the title "Interview with an Apostate: [your name or alias]"