Help me set up my JW wife: What should I look for in a church?

by Check_Your_Premises 44 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Check_Your_Premises
    Check_Your_Premises

    Background:

    I am a never baptized ubm. My jw wife is unhappy that I am looking for other churches.

    After careful thought and several conversations we have agreed not to treat each other from the assumption that improper motives are behind whatever either of us decide to believe.

    I have articulated my reason, in good Christian conscience, for not being a dub is that I cannot abide men claiming to have special authority from God absent a burning bush, making some wine, or parting the Red Sea. I of course did not state unequivically that the witnesses are participating in blasphemy, since that would label me an opposer. Rather I have said that their claim is below the threshold for me to feel comfortable with that claim. Of course I am still "open to the idea".

    My argument for other churches has been "even if they aren't right on all their doctrine, I believe no church is, and at least none of their teachings bother me as much as TFDS doctrine"

    Situation:

    So she asked me what I am looking for in a church. I have seen this as an opportunity. I am going to write a letter to all of the local churches asking them certain questions on biblical interpretation (exegisis, hermeneutics), their opinion of criticizing other denominations,church authority, and in particular their thoughts on men claiming to have sole authority from God. I thought I could ask some other questions also.

    (I understand she won't respect ideas from satans org, but I think some good answers and strong defense of orthodox Christianity could help me show her a good contrast to her pig god, the wt)

    Mission:

    So help me out with some ideas. Help me think of "what I should be looking for in a church". What sort of criteria should I tell her I have? What sort of questions should I send to the local clergy that they can knock out of the jw park?

    I am going for a setup-followed by knock down scenario here with her. Things she will agree to, and then will be put down hard.

  • Check_Your_Premises
  • whyamihere
    whyamihere

    My Dad goes to a Community Church now.

    He loves it. He was a Dub for over 40 years and I never once saw him love life and be at peace until he started living his own life going to this church. He said going there has really helped him wash away the guilt. He is not afraid anymore. I hope she and you find what you are looking for.

    Brooke

  • Preston
    Preston

    Make sure they have windows, stadium style seating...and don't forget the cup holders

    - Preston

  • Check_Your_Premises
    Check_Your_Premises

    Ha! I guess I was looking for some criteria that had more of a spiritual appeal.

  • whyamihere
    whyamihere

    Ha! I guess I was looking for some criteria that had more of a spiritual appeal. I went to his Church and I thought it was very spiritual and moving! Brooke

  • Check_Your_Premises
    Check_Your_Premises
    I went to his Church and I thought it was very spiritual and moving!

    Could you elaborate? What were the distinctions between that church and a kh? What things made it more beneficial, more desireable, more in line with the scriptures?

  • AlmostAtheist
    AlmostAtheist

    "How do you treat former members? In view of 2 John 1:9-11, do you shun them? If not, why not?"

    They might give you an explanation of the verse that shows why even those that reject the teachings of their church do not themselves need to be rejected.

    "What is your view of holiday traditions that have pagan origins (e.g., Christmas holly, Easter eggs)?"

    If they don't reject them, maybe their explanation of why would be compelling.

    "How do you understand the command to 'abstain from blood', as stated in Acts 15:29?

    That's all that leap to mind.

    Let me again take the opportunity to give you a pat on the back for working so hard to help your wife without offending her, shutting her down, chasing her off, etc. I hope she understands what a great hubby she has.

    Dave

  • undercover
    undercover

    How does the church view freedom of thought? Is questioning allowed or encouraged or is freedom of thought stifled in the name of conformity?

  • Check_Your_Premises
    Check_Your_Premises
    I hope she understands what a great hubby she has.

    Naah. I have kids with her. I don't want them to be raised in a broken home. I am a Christian. I don't feel I can rightfully divorce her unless she commits adultery (which one could argue her commitment to the wt is tantamount to). If I can't divorce her, I have to live with her until one of us dies. I don't want to die a lonely old man. Once the kids leave, your spouse is the only one who wants to hang out with your old, crusty butt.

    I do love her dearly, and I am offended by how her mind is being manipulated by these.... ahem.... nice folks. I won't give them the satisfaction of not fighting for her.

    But I don't think I really deserve any compliments. What choice do I have?

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