Examining The Invisible Kingdom Of Jehovah A Reuters Special Report
January 9, 2003
Brooklyn, New York - "Dagnabbitalltoheck!" shouted Ted Jaracz, standing up and waving his arms feebly above his head. This meeting of the Governing Body was not going well, and the New Lightbulb they had been planning to install in the Governing Body's main meeting room was on the blink again, for the fourth time that week. "Underling, bring me a new lightbulb, then screw it in! And hard, this time, not like the last time, you ineffectual twit!", Jaracz whined, bracing himself against the table for support. Ted Jaracz is getting on in his years now, and although this reporter could not determine his exact age, it is certain that he was good friends with Charlez Taze Russel, the founder of this New York Cult.
Initially created to sell Miracle Wheat, nobody, not even the exceedingly imaginative (and often incredibly trashed) CT Russel could have imagined that one day his humble grain-promotion company would be turned into a multinational Corporation offering, amongst other things, the promise of Everlasting Life (TM) to it's salesmen. The company only sort of plodded along, a bit like Mr. Jaracz, actually, until the arrival of Joseph "Booze" Rutherford in the early 20th century. Rutherford promoted the ideals of religion-as-business, and succeeded into turning the Watchtower into a powerful corporation, controlling every detail and thought process of it's 6 million salesmen across the world.
Promotional literature is now distributed world-wide using an astonishingly profitable system, known as the "donation" system, whereby "Publishers", who are Brothers and Sisters who are qualified to distribute literature, "donate" the exact value of the literature to the Watchtower, and then attempt to sell it themselves. Publishers must also donate money at least twice a month for their compulsory Watchtower magazines, although many more will donate for and receive copies of the Awake(TM) magazine, as well as many other publications produced by the Watchtower every year.
Not just anybody is allowed to donate money to the Watchtower itself, however. Publishers have to go through a rigid series of questions, a sort of spiritual obstacle course, which is designed for them by the Elders, and only then do they have permission to give the Watchtower Society money. Another brilliant business plan that has recently been set in motion is the building of Kingdom Halls by Publishers. Publishers build the Hall, getting a loan for the required amount from the Society, and then pay the Society back (with interest). When the loan is fully paid, the Hall becomes the property of the Society in Brooklyn.
It is ingenious business models such as these that have made the Watchtower a force to be reckoned with in the corporate world of America and elsewhere. No other company can claim such exclusive devotion from it's salesmen. In fact, the Watchtower boasts that it's salesmen would die for it, if it so ordains. Once in a while the Watchtower publishes a magazine on the cover of which are mugshots of all of the Publishers (especially younger ones) who gave their lives in order to obey the rules set forth by the Watchtower in their publications. The families of these ones receive no benefits, other than some free publicity, even though they have been bereaved of their kids. These distraught parents are in fact encouraged to donate more money to the Society, by selling more magazines and going out in "Field Service" more often, so as to forget the legacy of their dead children.
Recently, a number of documentaries have been made showing how the Watchtower has hidden paedophiles in it's ranks, but, to quote Mr. Jaracz, "it's all hogwash".
No salesmen for the Watchtower is allowed to question the content of the printed material in the publications - doing so would mean that they would no longer be able to donate money to the Society on a regular basis. During the sales meetings, which are held 5 times a week, publishers are not allowed to ask questions. They must instead take forth the so-called "spiritual food" presented to them by a body of men in the Society known as the "faithful and discreet slave". These men are certainly discreet - this reporter was unable to secure an interview with any of their number at all. The entire Organizaton is a part of the "Invisible Kingdom of God", which was established in 1914 by Jesus H. Christ, according to the Watchtower. Asked to cite evidence for this event, Bethel insiders urged the reporter to get into the "mindset of Jehovah" and not to "run ahead of Jehovah" if at all possible. This reporter admits to being slightly confused by statements such as these, and was unable to find even a small photograph of the Kingdom of Jehovah, which apparently is a world-wide phenomenon, but not visible to the naked eye, a bit like HIV.
Questioned on the source of the material in their literature, this reporter was told that Jehovah was in direct contact with the Governing Body, telling them things like "you may not get blood transfusions" and "Bill Bowen is an Apostate", although it is said by even the Governing Body itself that Jehovah can and does change his mind, and often. This "dynamic" Organization is certainly a masterpiece of corporate business planning, and should be looked at by all business concerns trying to improve their bottom line as an example of excellent cashflow modelling.
Edited by - SYN on 9 January 2003 6:9:12