Part 17: The Watchtower Strikes Back
Spy vs Spy In the following Part 18 I will tie up the loose ends ... but to give you an advance tip, I had three inside informants keeping tabs on what was going on. We were becoming more open about our new life, and we knew the Elders were likewise watching our every step. They too had a couple of informants reporting back to them. Sometimes, it was almost a combination between the Keystone Cops and the Dukes of Hazard ... one could easily make this a serious spy novel or a classic comedic saga of Spy vs Spy.
The Elders were scared of me, and this accounted for their lack of action ... waiting on the Watchtower Society to guide their next step. They were like warship captains waiting offshore for the final order to send out the strike forces ... and now poised behind the Society, patiently waiting for the word to go ... the Watchtower finally strikes back ...
I find a phone – but not my home phone: I call the Watchtower Society in New York. I ask if they have any lawyers on their staff by the name of Perri Massoni (Ficitious name). Someone comes back to the phone and confirms that he is a lawyer for the Society, and works at Bethel in the Watchtower Legal Dept. I asked if the lawyer could also be an attorney working for an outside law firm hired by the Society. They said no. He works there solely for the Society. Ahhhh ... so I end the call.
The Tribal Gods are about to Speak: The next day – Saturday, I go back into town with my wife. As I approach the post office, Elder G is there and stops to talk to me in the sweetest tone. “Hi, Brother Amazing, so good to see you! How have you and your family been! We have missed you at the meetings. Are you planning to come back soon?” I wanted to heave chunks at him, but managed to respond politely.
My paranoia reaches RED alert! What are the chances that I get a letter from a Watchtower lawyer just as I do a radio interview! What are the odds that the day after I call the Society about the lawyer that Elder G conveniently appears at the Post Office as I am about to pick up the letter?
I answer Elder G by saying that I appreciate his concern, but I avoid directly answering his questions – yes, I go back into evasion mode – I don’t know why – habit I guess. He asks my wife about her health. We talk a little bit more and then he says he hopes that we will come back to the Hall. We watch him leave – to make sure he does not see me get the letter. Waiting in line inside, I finally talk myself into believing that the timing of the Letter and my radio interview are too close for the Society to have gotten a letter to me that fast ... and that the timing of Elder G’s appearance must have been an interesting coincidence.
”Next!” – says the clerk behind the counter: The Postmaster brings out the letter – it is an 8 x 10 mailer, about ¼ inch thick. I ask him if I refuse the Letter because the party it is addressed to lives in another state, if that is okay. He says fine – he just needs me to make a decision. I stare at the Letter, and realize that if I reject it, Elder G will be able to say that I was at the Post Office, and the Society will understand it to mean I rejected their efforts to contact me ... and if I accept it ... then I will be forced to deal with its contents.
IT IS OVER: I instinctively knew that either way, it was over with the JWs – that I was going to have some kind of action taken against me – and there was nothing I could do about it. So, I accept the Letter because I figure it is better to have whatever documentation they send in case it comes in handy some day. I wondered if this letter would be like those that Ray Franz spoke about in his books. I was about to find out.
The Letter: We get back to our car and stay in the parking lot. I stall opening the letter, wondering if I should read it or take it back. Then, on impulse, I open the Letter. I look up from my car, and see Elder G drive by in front of us ... looking and waiving at us. He turns the corner and goes out of sight. I wondered what he was doing by circling back after he left earlier.
The Letter starts out: “Dear Mr. Amazing ... “ I looked at the “”Mr.”” part for a long pause ... it is really over ... I am no longer “Brother” but now, I am “Mister.” My deepest instincts knew what the tone of the rest of the Letter would be. My wife pulled the rest of the attachments out of the large envelope ... some case law material on how religions win in legal battles ... I just glanced at it ... I could not read it. I have yet to really read the enclosures ... I just read the Letter. It continued with referencing my letter to them from nearly two years earlier in July 1993. Perri Massoni expressed some regret over my wife’s health. Then the punch line ...
“A Judicial Committee has determined that you have Disassociated yourself” ... No statement of how the JC had reached this conclusion. No charges. No request for my side of the story. ... No concern regarding the serious issues I alluded to in my letter to them ... there was no need, because the Society is not a neutral arbitrator ... as I finally saw in the letter ...
After being advise to follow “Theocratic Procedure” to meet with the Elders, I was also advised that if I work through an attorney, to have my lawyer contact the Society directly ... why? The local Elders are the clients of the attorney for the Society! This is the documented link, the evidence that the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society of New York, Inc. is absolutely behind Disfellowshippings and Disassociations. The Society sets the standards for Elders. The Society trains and qualifies Elders. The Society directly appoints Elders and the Society removes Elders. Elders are in fact agents of and for the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society, and the Scoiety’s legal; team will act as the Elders attorney’s. There is no way for the Society to disconnect themselves from what the local Elders do as agents in fact for the Society.
The Society attorney stated that I could call or write to the local Elders and request to meet with them. Once I do, I am then in effect removing my earlier 1993 prohibition against them contacting me or my family. It is either do or die. Their letter was rather cold, dry, and definitely uncaring. These people at the world headquarters of Jehovah’s Witnesses “””DO NOT CARE””” about you, me, or any JW. This hard lesson in reality was their shrewd message, and was coming through loud and clear.
It was too late: What to do? I could not take the letter back to the Post Office ... the return receipt is signed and on its way back to New York. We went home and debated several ideas. But nothing seemed worthwhile. My wife advised me to forget it ... and let it go. Okay ... maybe I need to do just that ... but wait ... no ... I want time to think about this ... how can I buy time?
I call Elder G and let him know I have the Letter. I tell him I am living out of town, but can meet in two weeks. He asks for, no he insists on a request letter from me. So, I fire off a short letter agreeing to meet with them in two weeks. I do not intend on really meeting, but this way, I can find a lawyer and see what, if anything, I can do to get back to where I was before ... in a Stand-off.
Back in Washington State: I wait a couple of days, and do not look for a lawyer. So, I call Elder G to ask for an extension of another week. He and I get into a big argument. He insists that my letter was not good enough, and says that I didn’t follow “Theocratic” procedure. What? He said that I must state that I “Still want to be known as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses and that I will follow Theocratic procedure in meeting with the Elders. Failure to stipulate this exactly as the Society’s attorney stated means that they cannot accept my letter.
To buy some time, I state over the phone that “I still want to be known as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses and that I will follow Theocratic Procedure. Now when can we meet?” Elder G says, “Nope, not good enough!” What? I just did what you asked? “No, you must put it in writing.” But the Society’s letter says I can do this by phone!. Elder G says, “NO, page 1, paragraph “x” states that you must send a letter.” I say, “No, it gives the option of sending a letter or as per the Society on page 2, paragraph “y,” that I can call.” Elder G says not good enough – they, the Elders insist on a Letter, and they are calling the shots.”
I agree to send a Letter – to buy time – and ask him for more time. Elder G says I had better hurry. I ask him what is the rush? He says that the Society gave me ten days, and has they see it, I have run out of time. I said that if he is so truly concerned about me, wants me back at the meetings, why not extend time since they are calling the shots. ... He says that he will need to talk to the other Elders and get back to me. I hear nothing for several days.
Driving back to Oregon: I have some days off coming, so I get to drive back on a Thursday. On the way, along Interstate 84, I stop about 120 miles east of Portland, at The Dalles and call Elder G from a pay phone. I ask if he has gotten an answer yet. He says that since I did not send the letter as required, they were announcing that night that I was Disassociated!
WHAT?!!? “You were supposed to get back to me about an extension of time. I was waiting on your directions. Now you are just going to make an announcement just like that? You don’t give a “damn” about me – you just want me out because you are afraid of me – aren’t you? You are just eager-beavers to announce that I am gone!”
We argued back and forth, and finally Elder G says that they have the District Convention coming up, so he will ask the other Elders and see if they can hold off on any announcement. I tell him that I am on the road, and will call him at my next road stop. He agrees.
I drive about 60 miles for the next hour, and then I stop about 60 miles from Portland at Hood River to call Elder G. He says that he could not get hold of the other Elders, but that he sees no harm in waiting. He says that I should get my letter into them before their next Service Meeting so they can determine what to do. We argued more about the rush to get me out – and how this is a total slap in the face considering my years with the organization. He was unaffected. This was now his moment to “stand tall” against me with the full force and might of the Organization behind him. His voice emitted no concern or caring – and any feeling for a fellow JW was gone.
My own religion: I ask Elder G what is the evidence that they have that allowed them to determine I Disassociated myself. He says that word got back to them that I had started my own religion. I laugh and ask who the witnesses are. He tells me it is confidential. I told him that I had not started my own church. He said that he has it on good authority that I am going up and down the coast from as far north as Bellingham, Washington down to the San Francisco Bay Area, in California preaching and setting up congregations and that I now had a church building!
I tell him that it a lie! I have never started a church and have no intentions of doing so. I demand to meet these so-called “witnesses” and let them stare into my big green eye-balls as I tell them they are mean vicious liars! He commented that I was holding my own meetings with the family, and made no other comment. (Later I learned that the conversation I had with Elder G just before the last CO visit two years earlier – my comment about meeting as a family in place of any organizational meetings had been spread by he himself ... and the rumor grew until it came back to the Elders all blown out of proportion – a rumor that now had me starting a new religion.) The evidence against me was really nothing but a rumor started by Elder G that had run amuck! That was how they determined I had Disassociated myself. Yes, I was doing things that in effect would have disassociated me – but was not the basis of their determination. Their determination was built upon their own embellishments.
I arrive home: I discuss this with my family. My wife asks me when I am going to let all this go. When am I going to give it up, and let the JW religion die in my heart? When am I going to get the clue that they are not an organization that cares about anyone? She says, “It is OVER ... let it GO!”
Here, I was the guy that got the family rolling out of the organization, and yet I am the one who ends up still hanging on to the fiction that I can somehow walk away on my terms, keep the friends I want, and discard the rest. It does not work that way – there is NO honorable way to leave Jehovah’s Witnesses! She was right, but my male hormones will not admit defeat without at least one last swing at the Watchtower and its Elder minions, the Elder G, A, C types.
Back in Washington State: I work all week on my letter. I start out with one idea, save it as Version A. Then before long there is version B, C, D, E, and then E-1, E-2, F-1, F-2, and then F-3a, F-3b, and so on. Long letters, short letters, and everything in between. What in the hell was I trying to do! Then, the light went on! Yes, IT IS REALLY OVER --- These Elders have their mind made up. They don’t want me. I don’t want them. THE MARRIAGE IS OVER – DAMN-IT! So, do I just turn off the PC and delete the letters – and walk away for the last time! – NO!
The Last Letter: I decide that I will state all my concerns and give these Elders a birds-eye view of what is wrong with the organization, with them, and why I am at where I am. I give them the option of meeting, just to be nice to them, and see if they have any inkling of concern ... but, realistically, I have no illusions that they will not meet. But, the light flashes on! I will mail ca copy of my letter to all the Elders at their homes ... and possibly one of them will save my letter, and then maybe someday, just maybe, one of them will want out of the religion and remember my letter, and give me a call. This will be my last final statement – my Hallmark.
I write, and write adding in a thought here and a paragraph there, reword it here, and change that there. Ahhhh ... it is done! A beautiful 30 page letter!
30 Pieces of Silver! I can’t send this – these guys will see page 1 of 30 and they will recall 30 pieces of silver as I did when giving my part at the Circuit Assembly ... no, it needs one last Revision. I find errors here and there ... remove some adjectives, change font pitch and borders and delete some things not needed. Ahhh ... 29 pages! AT LAST – THE LAST LETTER!
Driving back to Portland: I left early Friday from work. I stopped by the Post Office in Washington State and mailed my Letter by Express registration to each Elder. By now there were a couple of new Elders, so I sent out 8 copies. I shared my long letter with the family, and they felt that it was all I could do. IT WAS FINALLY DONE! NO MORE CALLS. NO MORE LETTERS – on July 17th, 1995 exactly 25 years after my baptism as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, it was announced that I was Disassociated.
Visiting Brother L: The Elders never answered my letter. They never called to ask to meet. They never wrote to say what their determination was finally. So, I just ignored it. I was not going to call them and ask about my last letter – no, I was going to do what I should have done years earlier – and let it die.
My engineering career in Washington State came to an end in August 1995. The plant cut back contract engineers, and so I was let go. The plant needed a 50% reduction in staff – so contract people are the first to get the ax. I moved back to the Portland area to rejoin my family. I decided on a career change into real estate markets, mainly buying and selling private mortgage notes.
In the meantime, I still had some JW friends who stayed in contact. Besides my informants, there was Brother L. He and I were working on a business deal together, so I drove to California to visit with him to prepare for the deal and the meeting with a mutual customer. While there sitting at Brother L’s PC, he comes in and closes the door to his home office. “Amazing, I have some news to discuss with you.” Okay.
Elder G from your Hall in Oregon called: He contacted our Congregation Secretary and notified him that you are Disassociated. I sat back in my seat in disbelief ... not that I was really surprised, but that the Elders never responded to me first – and then they take the steps to call around to other congregations to make sure that they too know I am Disassociated. The Society has instructed against doing this, but Elder G was bound and determined to make sure that I was cut off at the knees.
Brother L agreed to keep the matter to himself, and to stay in touch – circumspectly as we had been. Well, at least I had one small victory. We discussed the matter at length over the next couple of days as we did business and had fun – enjoying beer or simply driving and talking. Upon my departure back to Oregon, Sister L confronted me – after some good friendly discussion and batting around some issues – she too issued forth the “Litmus Test, “Do you or do you not believe that “IT” is the Truth?”
What do you say to your friends about the Almighty “IT”? “IT did not die for us! IT is not the Truth – but only Jesus is the Truth as he himself stated! I told her that I resented the questioning, and had been through enough of it with the Elders. “Are you or are you not our friends?” –I asked. She said they were always our friends. So, I said that I cannot accept all of the teachings of the Society. Some are good, and some are in error, and some are patently false. The same questions came back at me about “Where else do I have to go now? And what about the Kingdom? My Anointing? Going door to door to preach the Good News?”
I said that the Good News is in God’s Word and I still bear that word to people – and the issue is not about where to go, but to whom – and discussed with her Hebrews 13:13 that Ray Franz so beautifully applied to our individual walk with Christ. She seemed to accept this – but before I knew it – I was shuffled off to the front door. She hugged me good-bye.
I looked back and could see Brother L in bed and asked to say good-bye to him. She said he was asleep. Earlier in the evening, he had managed to duck out of the confrontation, and I could not even say farewell. So, I walked away. The front door closed. It was not just a literal closing of a door – no, it was the end of our relationship – as I finally learned. I sent letters later only to have them unanswered. Letters came to my wife and children, but no mention of me – not even an inquiry or to send their love – no it too was over. Elder G even took out my close friend who had stuck with me this far.
Months pass: I almost seem to forget about religion and God. I didn’t feel like reading the Bible anymore. I did not want to pray. I did not mention my JW background. I quit going to any kind of Church. This God business all seemed like a cruel joke from my youth as a Roman Catholic to my quarter of a century with Jehovah’s Witnesses. The Baptist Pastor that was so nice to us ended up in jail for molesting children – a subject of another post sometime – and I was just in no mood for any contact with anything that even smelled like religion.
The Story should have ended here – but does not: Brewing in the background is another round going on with Brother K and the Special Representative(SR) sent in by the Society to live in the territory. Yes, there is more to come ... for the Watchtower Society is at total war with ex-JWs (aka: Apostates). They are dead serious to cripple us – and that war rages on as I write this. The outcome is not yet determined.
Phone at work rings: “Hello, Amazing? This is Brother K. I have a serious problem and need your help – remember the SR from the Society who moved here?” Why yes, I could not forget. “He has my money, and I am scared that I have lost my life savings!” Yikes!
This situation is every bit as important as the first – for it shows the depths that the Elders and the Society will stoop to harm, deliberately harm – those who have left their ranks. Stay tuned, for you will not want to miss: Part 18: The Last Stand – My Brother’s Gift Opened ... to be continued ...
PS: After this is the last of this Series ... Part 19: Completing my Coming Out.