RAGE ... trying not to give in ...

by dedalus 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • dedalus
    dedalus

    I recently stopped by my father's house to pick up some mail and to drop off my brother's sunglasses. My father, a zealous dub with 24 years in the collective, asked to talk to me.

    For those who don't know, my fiancee and I are having a baby, which for obvious reasons causes some consternation on my father's part: you don't have to be a Witness to believe that sex before marriage is wrong. (If someone wants to discuss whether this is a valid position or not, do it in another thread.) So, I expected my father to turn me into the elders. I expected some piously condescending moralizing. I expected it'd be awhile before we were comfortable enough to play tennis again.

    But I wasn't quite ready for what came next: my father is stopping his association with me -- dub-speak for writing me off as his son.

    In the hour-long conversation that followed, I remained calm, appealing whatever way I could, which was no way at all. Even if I marry my fiancee, pronto, he will not change his mind. Coming back to dub-land is the only way to do it.

    Now: this weekend, my non-Witness uncle threw a family reunion, which in my extended family occurs only every several years or so. Of all in attendance, only three were Witnesses: my father, one of my brothers, and my sister-in-law, his wife. As usual, my uncle invited us through my father, who very deliberately took steps not to invite me. This wasn't a Witness function! It wasn't even his function! Yet he managed, in effect, to get non-Witnesses to participate in ostracizing me.

    When asked were I was, my father simply replied, "Dedalus couldn't make it." I guess it's okay to lie when you're shunning someone, even if that person isn't disfellowshipped!

    (My elders, by the way, have in fact contacted me, but I dealt diplomatically with them, and won't, I think, hear from them again, nor do I expect to be disfellowshipped.)

    Until now I have always been calm and serene with my father, speaking to him respectfully, handling him delicately. But I'm (nearly) literally seeing red over being excluded from the family reunion. I want to call him out, tell him off, string together a series of expletives the like of which he's never heard spoken ... (any suggestions? )

    But I doubt I will. I doubt I'll even shun him when his grandchild is born ... supposing he even wants to see his grandchild. Weird, I don't know if he does.

    Anyway, this isn't an appeal for emotional support, necessarily, so much as it is another drop in the bucket of stories we tell. The moral is easy and old and familiar: Witnesses suck.

    Dedalus

  • reagan_oconnor
    reagan_oconnor

    Much sympathy for you on this end. Witlesses think that they have some right to treat others as lesser humans. It blows big weenies, as my husband often says.

    Reagan

    I am the master of my fate/I am the captain of my soul.

  • LDH
    LDH

    The only thing I can think of, Ded, is to have your dad call Brooklyn directly and ask their position on whether or not he can associate with you.

    Now this may or may not work. While speaking to my drank-the-Koolaid 70 year old aunt, I informed her the Society's new position was that she could, in fact, speak with my sister. My sister, according to the Jw-media site, has only decided 'not to be a Witness.'

    Her response? "Well I don't care what the WBTS says. The BIBLE says I can't talk to her."

    So some people, you will never get through to.

    Sorry.

  • tergiversator
    tergiversator

    Hey dedalus,

    Yeah, witnesses (especially relatives) can suck a lot. My mom, at least, still talks to me occasionally, but won't let me eat with her - except at "family gatherings", where all of our worldly relatives would be quite upset at not seeing me. (Guess it would just be too bad a witness to take a hardline stance there?) But she still pulls stuff like your dad.

    A few weeks ago, my non-witness grandparents drove out from Colorado and went down to see my mom and stepdad for dinner. My very inactive brother and stepdad's non-witness parents were also there, so it seemed to fall under the category of "family gathering". I, of course, never got an invite. It just so happened that I had to move to a different dorm room that weekend and might not have been able to go anyways, but I don't think she knew that until my grandparents would've got there and told her. (I did get to see them earlier during the week when they visited my school.) They, of course, probably thought that was the only reason I wasn't there, and I doubt my mom was going to disillusion them. It still hurt.

    Sorry your family is playing the same stupid game. I don't want to think about how much fun it won't be dealing with them when kids come along.

    -T.

  • Billygoat
    Billygoat

    Man...I would totally be seeing red myself over this! I think it's great that you're coming to this forum to discuss it before you actually address the situation. Get it out before you turn any anger towards your father.

    My advice comes in several steps...

    Number one...address it directly with your father. Ask him why he did not invite you to the reunion. And then ask him why he lied about it to the rest of the family. You could tell him that it hurt your feelings - but DO NOT tell him that you were enraged over it!!! The only way to make a point with JWs is to very NON-EMOTIONALLY confront the facts. If you go into it emotionally charged it will only convince your dad that he made the right decision by dis-owning his 'worldly' son. But ask him point blank. See what he says. If he lies again, confront him with the fact that you know he lied. You could even tell him that you talked to some of the people at the reunion if that's the case! Make sure that you let your dad know, that more than anything, you're DISAPPOINTED - not hurt, angry, sad - that you'd expect better behavior from your christian father. (Remember as a kid that our dad made so much more of an impact on us when they DIDN'T always discipline us - especially when we KNEW we did something wrong? Use that tactic.)

    Number two...talk to the host of reunion. Make sure they understand you weren't there because you didn't know about it. That way they will call you directly next time a family function comes up. You could even ask them NOT to use your father as a liaison in that type of invitation.

    Number three...do not even address the shunning issue during this same conversation. That's altogether a different issue. My parents said they would shun me completely - they haven't. I live about 2K miles away from them, but we still speak on a regular basis. I can't say that would be the same way for you, but it is a different issue. I couldn't tell you how to address it once you do. I haven't addressed it with my parents myself. Maybe others have suggestions?

    Just remember "witnesses suck" because they don't know any better. More than anything, I feel sorry for them. They don't realize they are under the spell of the WTS.

    My two cents,

    Billygoat

  • AlanF
    AlanF

    Dedalus, I think that you should carefully explain the situation to your relatives and see what they think of your Dad's dishonesty and unloving behavior. If it's their party, they can decide who's there. If you Dad doesn't want to be there if you are, that's his decision for himself. I hate to see people sucked into playing JW games and I think it's a good idea to rub their dirty noses in their shitty behavior.

    AlanF

  • Billygoat
    Billygoat

    Something to keep in mind though...your family may NOT have realized they were getting sucked into it. They may not have known the truth if your Dad lied to them about it. Assume they don't know until they say otherwise. If you go into the conversation being accusatory it will just make you look like a raging lunatic. But staying calm and just addressing the facts may actually show them how deceitful your father is...

    ...a few more cents.

    Billygoat

  • claudia
    claudia

    Ded, phone EVERY relative and tell them the truth and how you are being shunned, jws HATE when they are made to look abnormal. And let your father know that every one knows.

  • GinnyTosken
    GinnyTosken

    Dedalus,

    Evidently your father has not yet attended this summer's convention. At the entrance to the forums, I noticed this headline: "8,000 taught how to love."

    Among other things, the article says:

    Spence told members that God has adequately qualified them to spread his word and they should teach His word through the Holy Spirit and through unconditional love.

    "Love is the great motivator," Spence said. "It is essential for our ministry. Jesus loved people and we should have that same love. It can be the motivating force in our teaching."

    (Bolding mine.) For news items, see: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/default.asp?site=3

    Will this be your parents' first grandchild? If it's any comfort, it was the birth of my son that broke down the shunning wall my parents had placed between us for four years. Who can resist a chubby baby with little fingers and little toes? When they wanted to see and hold the baby, they suddenly remembered all sorts of Watchtower exceptions for contact with family members. We could talk as long as we did not discuss "spiritual" matters.

    My father is still a JW, and sometimes when I am frustrated by his behavior, I write him a letter, even though we live in the same small town. If I try to talk to him in person, he often interrupts to make counterpoints and doesn't listen very well because he is reacting emotionally. He seems to have respect for anything in print, and he also views my taking the time to write and explain as a sign that I care about him, his feelings, and our relationship. In person, I'm doing well to get him to listen to me once; he reads a letter again and again.

    I've found the "love letter" technique helpful in composing these letters.

    http://www.oahouston.org/oa-Love-Letter-Technique.htm

    You begin with anger, but also write about hurt and sadness, fear, guilt, forgiveness, love and understanding. Even if you never send the letter to your father, it is helpful to examine the full range of your own feelings and to name just exactly what it is that you want from your father.

    Meanwhile, enjoy a good night's sleep while you can still get it.

    Ginny

  • rem
    rem

    Dedalus,

    Man, that's really sad. I'm sure you realize that your dad is on autopilot and is just following directions. He really has no choice. Like I said before, the District Convention really came down hard on choosing between your family and the Borg. Also, I wonder if the elders shared your response to them with your father? If they did, then maybe that was a factor in his decision. No matter how diplomatic it was, it made a statement - you will not be following "theocratic order".

    As far as the family reunion, I know how frustrating that must be. If my father did that to me I'd probably confront him about it. You have a good diplomatic character, so I'm sure you can discuss it calmly with him. No matter what - you are still part of the family and you had every right to be there. Hopefully it was just a stupid mistake (don't necessarily attribute to malice what can be explained by stupidity), but if not, then he has some explaining to do.

    I'm not sure what your relationship with your father has been in the past. If you did things together regularly, why not continue to invite him to play tennis and stuff. Let him know that you are leaving the door open and that there is more to your relationship than religion. Maybe you can get your brother to work on him too! :) Maybe you can play the guilt card and say that he is adding extra stress into your new family and it is not conducive to a healthy pregnancy for Foxy and the baby?

    You're in my thoughts, friend. Hang in there!

    rem

    "Most people would rather die than think; in fact, they do so."
    ..........Bertrand Russell

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