Over the last 20 years I have seen Christians make the same mistakes over and over again. They think that all they have to do is preach and xjws will respond .... doesn't work! I have seen very few xjws who have become Christians immediately and stayed that way. The reason is simple, in their minds they are just exchanging one organizaiton for another and have not confronted the issues that need to be dealt with first. They usually drop out after 1-2 years and struggle with more guilt and confusion from then on. Better to let them grow as people until they can make their own spiritual journey without interference from any of us .... they will ask the questions when and if they are ever ready. Christians, if you believe in an Almighty God, then that God is Almighty enough to keep these ones in the palm of His hand until they are ready. It all depends on how big your God is ..... I say this as a believer.
The following was written by former JW's to explain how they felt to Christians who felt compelled to proseltyse
If You Want to Be My Friend....
Some general advice for Christians who want to get along with people who don't share their beliefs, especially ex-Witnesses. Every single word is sincere, and I hope this is helpful.
If you want to be my friend, please don't try to start the "friendship" by extolling the virtues of your religion. This is a surefire way to make me doubt your sincerity. I'm sure that everybody here is familiar with "conversion friendships" -- being friendly to a person with the ulterior motive of converting them to your religion. JWs do it all the time. But trust me when I say that this kind of artificial "friendship" is very insulting, especially to people who don't wish to convert, and anything that
smells like it is suspect at best.
If you want to be my friend, treat me as your equal. I am a grown, intelligent woman. Do not talk down to me or treat me like some lost little lamb who needs to be guided to your system of belief.
If you want to be my friend, treat me as A PERSON, not a potential convert. Talk to me about the weather. Ask me how I'm feeling and what I like to do in my spare time. Ask me about my life in the Watchtower. Get to know me; try to understand me. And give me the chance to know more about you than just your identity as a Christian Crusader. We might even like each other.
If you want to be my friend, learn to take a hint. If you start talking about your religion and you notice that I'm not responding well to your message, you might want to change or drop the subject. If you continue to preach to me, you'll only turn me off even more. Getting on your potential friend's nerves is NOT the best way to start a friendship, and while I tend to forgive easily, not everybody does. Please try to be considerate of other people's feelings.
If you want to be my friend, have respect for my beliefs. I know this may be hard for you if you've been taught that everyone who doesn't believe like you is damned (hmmmmm, this doctrine sounds familiar... where have I heard it before?), but other people have their own reasons for seeing things the way they do, just as you have yours. Ask about those reasons and try to understand them. Ask non-believers what they think about things. Accept the fact that you CAN learn valuable lessons from people whose persepectives are different from yours, and that "different" doesn't mean "worthless" or "evil." Accept the fact that there is beauty in diversity of thought. Realize that not everyone wants to join your religion, and that not everyone will find it beneficial. If you won't respect my beliefs, why should I have respect for yours?
I guess that covers it. I hope you'll consider what I've said.
*Rochelle, friendship class.
JanG
CAIC Website: http://caic.org.au/zjws.htm
Personal Webpage: http://uq.net.au/~zzjgroen/