"Raised in the Truth" or What the Hell Was That Anyway?

by Perry 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • Perry
    Perry

    About the only model that I've found that helps define the experience of being born in the truth (BITT), is one used in studies on addiction. Basically, that model says that people who are addicts form maladaptive relationships with things, experiences, and I'd argue ideologies as well, in a vain attempt to achieve "closeness". Of course real "closeness" or "psychic validation" as I prefer to think about it, is only truly achieved during and after the interactions between two mutually accepting and non-judging people who possess intimate knowledge of one another; starting with one's primary caregivers... or parents.

    Many people who are seriously lacking in these types of genuine relationships are compelled to try and search for a method of achieving the consequences of experiencing those types of loving, non-judging relationships, aka.... acceptance and its cousin happiness.

    Because maladaptive relationships with drugs, alcohol abuse, work-a-holism, etc. only produce a fleeting illusion of these positive and foundational feelings, the addict repeats the behavior as a relief valve, so as to at least experience some form of positive feelings. Of course, it is maladaptive because it functions to the exclusion of intimate relationships, which are far more unpredictable and require more emotional balance to maintain; but, nonetheless are the only healthy method for achieving genuine pshchic validation... or "closeness".

    In the BITT experience to which I apply this model to, the illusionary 'primary caregiver' is the organization. It is the entity to which all members (addicts), are directed to for acheiving psychic validation... Or, in other words, to test their own thinking or feelings. Because it is simply a non-human entity, really little more than a collection of rules, edicts, and heirachy; it cannot deliver genuine lasting feelings of acceptance, validation, and well-being..... only the face of another non-judging, accepting personality can do that. I call that the experience of intimacy (non-sexual).

    Parents who are embroiled in their own frantic, albeit impossible search for well-being through the emotoinal, cognitive, and haptic prescriptions doled out by the Society, simply pass this dis-ease along to their children. Interestingly, Adult Children of Alcoholics are notorious for having all the symptoms of an alcoholic, even without the alcohol. Their addiction many times centers around trying to control their human relationships to the extent that they become in the mind of an ACOA, a non-entity.... or little more than pawns in the chess game of life..... thus the similarity.

    The bottom line is that many people simply get scared at the very spectre of life and are simply under-educated and ill-prepared to try and figure things out for themselves. Unfortunately, there are ALWAYS people who are prepared to do it for you so they can further their own agenda.

    What makes all this so insidious is that the WTBS adds a different twist to the fairly well understood dynamics of addiction. Unlike the alcoholic, who has cognition of the source of his insanity, the cultist is convinced that the object of his neurotic affections are in fact God himself, and not an inanimate heirachy of rules, regulations, shame and guilt that are simply masquerading as God.

  • NeonMadman
    NeonMadman

    Good points. I've read a few books over the years on the topic of religious addiction. The ones I remember as being particularly interesting were Toxic Faith and When God Becomes a Drug. I also just finished reading The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse, which, while not directly about religious addiction, certainly brought me back to my JW days as it illustrated the control mechanisms used by abusive religious systems.

  • frenchbabyface
    frenchbabyface

    The name of the Topic was quiet funny, and I was curious
    Finally it is very serious and yes of course I agree
    and the bible (and others religious book) are often the bases of those weird psychic behaviours

    (I don’t know if I’ve expressed myself to be clear enough)Corinne

  • Euphemism
    Euphemism

    Excellent post, Perry. The first time I read about adictive relationships, I was still in the Borg, and I wondered why so much of what I read seemed to fit me...

  • Phantom Stranger
    Phantom Stranger

    I see parallels to low-level Borderline Personality Disorder more than to addiction. (whoops hit Post too soon).

    Although the dependency relationship has parallels, I think the dependency is often short of addiction. I went and posted the BPD topic on a new thread so as not to hijack this one.

  • run dont walk
    run dont walk
    The bottom line is that many people simply get scared at the very spectre of life and are simply under-educated and ill-prepared to try and figure things out for themselves

    Exactly !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, how I feel, My parents never understood how life worked and the enjoyments of life, under-educated and ill prepared, AND no understanding. And instead of figuring it out for themselves, let the Watchtower do it for them.

    You hit the nail HARD on the head, well said !!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Perry
    Perry

    What causes Borderline Personality Disorder?

    It would be remiss to discuss BPD without including a comment about Linehan's work. In contrast to the symptom list approaches detailed below, Linehan has developed a comprehensive sociobiological theory which appears to be borne out by the successes found in controlled studies of her Dialectical Behavioral Therapy.

    Linehan theorizes that borderlines are born with an innate biological tendency to react more intensely to lower levels of stress than others and to take longer to recover. They peak "higher" emotionally on less provocation and take longer coming down. In addition, they were raised in environments in which their beliefs about themselves and their environment were continually devalued and invalidated. These factors combine to create adults who are uncertain of the truth of their own feelings and who are confronted by three basic dialectics they have failed to master (and thus rush frantically from pole to pole of):

    • vulnerability vs invalidation
    • active passivity (tendency to be passive when confronted with a problem and actively seek a rescuer) vs apparent competence (appearing to be capable when in reality internally things are falling apart)
    • unremitting crises vs inhibited grief.

    DBT tries to teach clients to balance these by giving them training in skills of mindfulness, interpersonal effectiveness, distress tolerance, and emotional regulation.

    While many people who display BPD are not JW's, I'd argue that the fear tactics together with the addictive characteristics that accompany the delusion that you are master of the world in JW lore, exacerbates the susceptability of those with a predisposition. While many argue about the nature and indeed the very definition of the term BPD, faulty fixations with objects as a means to acheive intimacy are fairly well understood and I'd argue a causitive feature underlying many other disorders.

    People with healthy, adult human relationships that are characterized by acceptance, honesty, and intimacy have far fewer problems, are more balanced, and are better equipped to deal with life's challenges.

  • Phantom Stranger
    Phantom Stranger

    Well, since you brought it up :)

    I came across BPD and Linehan's dialectical therapy recently while dealing with a family issue. While researching it, I was amazed at the parallels that I saw with how Witnesses in general, and especially female witnesses, are treated, and how some of them react to it emotionally.

    I expecially like how Linehan has incorporated "eastern" mindfulness skills. This detachment from reality and from the moment seems to be very common in the west, and Witnesses I would suspect are even worse than average.

  • Perry
    Perry
    This detachment from reality and from the moment seems to be very common in the west

    Which of course are hallmark characteristics of addiction. Western culture has become addiction ridden.... no question about that. The real question is why.

    Child rearing practices of some eastern societies seem to foster deeper emotional hooks into children than their western counterparts, thereby preparing them for more closer relationships when they grow up; even if for no other reason than familiarity. It's hard to know what you don't know.... or that which is unfamiliar.

  • sens
    sens

    Neonmadman, the book The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse sounds really good where do you get it?

    3 Sens 4

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