The excellent threads started by Amazing and JT sum up different aspects of a way of looking at my family I only recently realised that I had developed.
To give background, I walked away in '93 but have retained fairly good relations with my family although I have never had a 'show-down' regarding beliefs, just a few half-hearted fire-fights.
My girlfriend (never a JW) had met them a few times. A few months ago we went for a meal at their house. I think that my parents had decided beforehand to 'get her alone', so my dad asked for help with his PC in his office at home.
My mum and my girlfriend were in the living room; I could hear what was going on from where I was.
My mum was basically doing the "It is the truth you know" bit (a JW mind trick; sincere repetiton, eye contact, gesture, head nod... what do they think they are, some kind of Jedi??), and my girlfriend was trying not to have hysterics at the idea of a ventriloquist demon using a snake and Eve just standing there chatting with it happily instead of going "Wow, a talking snake! Adam honey, look it's a fucking talking snake, get a gourd I wanna keep it!!"
Up to that point, she'd seen them as they are. Two very wonderful, wise, loving people, with an active social life in their '70's.
But now she saw the other side.
Back in our hotel room (they don't like us sleeping in the same room if they are at home, but don't mind us using their bed when they are away or paying for a hotel room if we're in town; simultaneously cool and twisted) we went over it.
For my gf it was a severe headfuck (sorry, no other word) that such lovely people should start whittering on about utter balls out of nowhere.
In a flash of inspiration I said;
"Ah-ha! But I have two sets of parents. The wonderful ones and the mad cultists."
I think this is true for all of us with family or friends in the Borg. In fact it's true for every Witness. They are just normal people, no worse or better than you or me. But they have been infected with a vile mind-virus that makes them act at times in a horrible way.
Behind every mind-conditioned cultist there is a real human being trying to get out. How can we have been victims of a cult if they are not also victims of a cult?
Obviously active Witnesses sometimes behave in henious ways due to their cult beliefs. But they are acting according to their nature. How many of us got up in the Kingdom Hall and screamed "But that's INHUMAN!!" when they disfellowshipped people??
Just like we did things we are not proud of, if the poor poor people still in the Borg could look at their actions and beliefs OBJECTIVELY, they'd wonder what the hell they were doing.
But they can't. Is it worthwhile getting mad at a cat for killing birds? No. Is there any point being pissed of with a snake 'cause it bites you? Not really.
Likewise NO MATTER HOW JUSTIFIED WE MIGHT BE GIVEN THEIR BEHAVIOUR, there's very little point in taking anything a Jehovah's Witless does personally. I know and understand it is sometimes hard - being disowned or treated like a sinner by your own flesh and blood is vile. Staying quiet whilst they spout utter garbage is painful.
But you see, we need to bear their weakness in mind. Anyone of us could push the right buttons and get a Witness to run screaming in fear of an attack by the demons. It's not big or clever, just start drooling, shaking violently and chanting "Satan" continuously under your breath while you roll your eyes back in your head; they'd be back-flipping through windows before you could say 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer'.
That's a silly example, obviously. But given any situation, you can predict how they would react. How? Because all we have to do is cast our mind back a little and think "What would I have done if someone did that?"
So, we have to be very big, and very grown up, and instead of pushing their buttons out of our own frustration, or reacting when the nasty little cultist pushes ours, we can interact with the real person hidden underneath all that shit.
The more we deal with the normal person; our mum, our dad, our siblings, rather than Brother x or Sister y, the more we have a chance of planting little mind bombs that get under the cult armour.
Frontal assaults they are ready for. It vindicates their faith. We become a self-fufilling prophesy "bitter twisted apostates".
But being normal, and being happy, well, that's a big enough jolt of cognitive dissonance for them to be getting on with... time will allow others, like innocent little curious questions, so it builds up to the point where what we REALLY WANT happens.
The day when we get to have a proper conversation with our loved ones in the Borg, rather than a futile arguement with a mad cultist.
Love and peace to you all, and good luck...
Abaddon