This deals with two aspects, that of life as a JW Anointed, and then as an ex-JW:
First: I began associating in the late 1960s and was baptized in 1970. I believed I had the heavenly calling almost from the beginning of my JW life ... but like most newbies, I refrained from partaking due to the JW culture created by the Society.
When I chose to first take the emblems, I was serving as an MS in Richland, Washington. We also had another young Elder who professed his Anointing. My family and I moved just after a major blow-out where 29 JWs were disfellowshipped across 7 or so congregations from southeast Washington to Northeast Oregon and into Idaho, and I think maybe one congregation in Montana. This scenario was mentioned in Jim Penton's book, Apocalypse Delayed. Nearly all those DF'd in that situation professed to be Anointed, including a long time Elder who was the focal point of the issue. I personally met him years later and learned the "rest of the story." I could not have chosen a worse place to partake given these conditions in the JW culture, and the fear of many that another crop of 'fake' anointed were emerging. In time, however, with my continued 'good' performance, this fear subsided. My closer relationships withstood the storm and all went fairly well.
Better days arrive. We moved back to California. I continued to partake in my home congregation. Here I was serving as an Elder and I was well accepted with many friends. I had a positive history. The congregation was used to having several Anointed around, and they were without the baggage that the Richland Congregation had to carry. Although when the CO arrived, especially if this was his first visit, then questions were asked quietly, but my fellow Elders were nice enough to assure the CO or DO that I was okay, a good performer, etc.
A side note: My home congregation had as many as 5 Anointed pioneer sisters, and 2 Anointed males (and possibly more by now). Not all at once, but as high as four at one time. It seemed normal to us, and it was always expected that someone would be partaking at the Memorial. This stood in sharp contrast to the majority of JW congregations that never have anyone partake.
Difficulties arise: I have posted on this before as to some of the difficulties. Compared to the majority of the time, the difficulties were few. There were some very unsettling experiences, but for some reason they passed quickly and life moved on for everyone. See the following post links regarding a major experience where the Society became involved with me at memorial time:
Anointed Experience #1 - Discerning the Body
Anointed Experience #2 - Contacting the FDS
Anointed Experience #3 - He Just Can't Be!
Anoint. Exp #4, Ans to: Discerning the Body
The real consternation is what JW Anointed suffer privately: First, you cannot share the same hope with your average JW, as this makes them uncomfortable. Then the realization that your non-anointed wife and children will one day be separated from you ... they on earth, and you in heaven. This is not a positive prospect when you love your family so very much. If you do anything out of the ordinary or something wrong, it is held against you twice as much. Your performance is monitored, so you cannot afford to let your guard down. And then there are, even in the best of circumstances, the quiet rumors that get circulated which cause hurt, confusion, and at times can affect relationships. These in themselves are not unusual, but they are in addition to the normal scuttlebutt of negative things in life ... and can sour what is otherwise a good experience. Most of all, you get questioned in a way that makes you feel you must always defend your hope and your calling ... but, as you get older, with each passing year, this lessens, as age tends to validate this hope among JWs.
Second: When you began the process of leaving the JWs, your status as one of the Anointed takes on its own momentum. When I finally resigned my position and stopped attending meetings, I lasted about 2 months before the negative rumors got back to me ... “he must be apostate” was the most common ... others concluded I was now “weak” or “immature” as though somehow when you miss meetings your maturity turns off and you revert to adolescence. Then, in time some of your friends cool off, and eventually you are shunned unofficially by many ... then as the months go by, rumors are such that you must be apostate, and then the comment, “he must never really be of the Anointed in the first place” ... “followed by ... “He was not cut out to be an Elder or he may never have really been a JW in the first place.”
Yet, these things are really no different than what non-Anointed JWs experience. The label Apostate, however, demonizes an ex-JW so much so that it overshadows any prior status such as having been an Elder or of the Anointed. Yet, somehow, people remember that feature of anointing about you more so ... and it sort of makes an ex-Anointed a worse Apostate ... a bigger Demon ... in their fantasy way of viewing the world around them.
The Real Change: What is far more interesting and spectacular about being an ex-JW and, therefore for me, an ex-Anointed, is that I quickly arrived at the conclusion that such a ‘special status’ is not really part of the Christian religion. I am not specially called out to rule over anything ... I got my head out of the clouds and the unique JW experience of being Anointed evaporated as rapidly as light rain in the dessert when the sun comes out.
Over the years, as I have unloaded much JW baggage, I have reach new points where I see all this at a great distance. Not only do I now see the JW religion as a serious fiction, and Alice-in-Wonderland type of religious romance with a fictitious god labeled “Jehovah,” ... but I view any such special anointed ruling-class as just a mere feature of a wild and sadly self-deluded religion. In fact, I see ALL religion that way ... as I do with much of politics and government, including many other human affiliations.
Not only do I have many unanswered questions and doubts ... not only do I have few answers of my own ... I am going through the middle phases of learning to accept doubt, insecurity, uncertainty, and “not knowing” as a good way, maybe better way to live. Why? Because it is in the final analysis the most intellectually honest way to be ... because in fact, no human or human agency speaks with any God, nor are any directed by the same ... and that those who claim to speak with any god or God are self-deluded and will upon being pressed finally admit that they really only think they hear the voice of a god in their heads or hearts ... it is ALL a sad lie of a primitive state of mind.
... it is clear that whatever God’s intentions are, he/she/it has no real relationship with humans on an individual basis ... and that he allows for us to suffer greatly without rhyme or reason ... for I see no purpose in letting young children be born deformed, in serious pain, only to die young ... I cannot fathom why God allows some people to be very happy and successful while others of equally good motive and conduct suffer into old age ... I see no point in allowing so much confusion about God’s purposes with a plethora of religious organizations ... such that some viciously kill in God’s name for mere political gain ... recently we see how Islam has shown us what fanatical religion is about, just as Christianity, Judaism, and others have done. Read: Your Little Jehovah will Fail You
Accepting all this means ...: that I am actually in a way happier. The burden of “Truth” is lifted and I can enjoy each day for what it is ... I will have to wait and trust to see what, if anything, God might have in store for me ... but if nothing, then I can at least know I will truly rest in peace when my time comes to die. But, before I can ever again trust God, or serve God, or agree to have a relationship with God ... he/she/it MUST demonstrate to me that there was a good reason behind human suffering ... and God MUST be held accountable ... AND that I too will have terms to be met in any relationship with he/she/it ...
Yes ... that is right ... as a sentient, self-aware adult human being ... I am entitled to terms of my own ... I am not going to render unconditional obeisance as a low-life creature ... a creature who must swallow suffering unquestioningly and then thank some god for the privilege.
Would I ever go back to the JWs? Not on your life. That would be like drinking my own vomit ... for truly the religious practices of their kind are no better than psychological vomit. I can much better appreciate what Jesus Christ meant about not returning to such vomit ... but, can ex-JWs of the Anointed ever return, and are they still Anointed? Yes to both questions. But so what?
Finally, why I do make comments about Jesus that have shades of being Christian? Because, whatever has happened to my faith, my love for any kind of god ... Jesus Christ always seem to shine through as someone who really understood human trappings of religion and misguided thinking. It is almost as if he is not so much a ‘Savior’ according to Jewish and early Christian lore, but more of a philosophical Einstein of his day, who was there to aid us in our evolution in this universe. God bless the soul of Jesus Christ.
That is where I am at today. That is it folks ... the sum of what I am this day, at the ripe age of 52 ... I know less now than when I was age 5 ... except that now I simply have some experience to support and justify my ignorance and doubt ... and while the struggle continues, it is a road that I must travel ... and I hope it results in something even "gooder" than what this life has to offer. Jim W.