From Victim to Survivor:
Take Back the Power
The following transcript is taken from the Exit & Support Network tape EX-2 by
ESN Founder. This message was given at a conference on abusive/exploitive
groups. It is very helpful for recovery for those that have been involved in a
mind-manipulating organization.
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In October of 1993, after being held captive for seven years in a jail cell in
Iran, Terry Anderson told America, and I quote, "For seven years they took my
life, but they never got my mind." It was that day that I decided that I was no
longer a victim of one of the cruelest crimes toward the human race, but NOW I
was a survivor.
My husband, two boys, and I spent seven years in a bible-based fundamentalist
apocalyptic cult known during the 1970's as one of the most destructive cults
in America. My introduction to the fear-based Worldwide Church of God was
similar to most cult experiences as I was at a point in my life that led me to
searching for truth about God. For a year, we, as a family started visiting
churches and listening to religious radio programs. One day, I picked up a FREE
magazine at a Dr.'s office called the Plain Truth, which led me into the most
sophisticated psychological entanglement of pseudo-religious cultism, one could
never imagine.
Within months, I was hooked into the brainwashing techniques that encapsulated
the mounds of FREE written materials that the Worldwide Church of God piled at
my doorstep. I was awed by how professional the writers appeared and how I was
never coaxed to send money for all the high quality booklets I collected and
studied. No minister was pounding my door; everything truly seemed so FREE.
What I didn't understand through innocent ignorance on my part was what all
that FREE material was doing to my heart, my brain and my life. On the surface,
the messages seined to answer questions I often pondered, such as life, God and
death. The more I read, the more my concerns and questions were answered, so I
thought. Everything had to be true, because no one would lie so boldly in the
name of God and Jesus Christ and put it in print. The twisted ideas of
prophecy, the tribulation, God's one true church and obedience to "God's
government" forced conformity or threatened punishment with annihilation in the
Lake of Fire dare I turn my back on the truth. This rhetoric hoisted me and
thousands of others throughout the past sixty years into a funnel of
destruction.
I use the term brainwashing along with mind control as I feel these abusive
cults, like the Worldwide Church of God, replaces the physical torture with
emotional and psychological torture, but the effects and results are the same.
Within one year, my family and I lost control on our lives, goals, future,
identities, will, self-esteem, extended family and friends. Did we have a
choice? Yes, our choice consisted of responding to the "calling" of the
Worldwide Church of God, or obliterate in the Lake of Fire for disobedience.
The intense "programming techniques" guided our every move. We were lured into
the church, which consisted of a totalitarian, dictatorial government forcing
strong legalism with mandates and laws. As in other cults, once your in the
black and white thinking system, it is near to impossible to free yourself from
the fear programming and phobias that act as a psychological whip, dare you
deviate from the cult leaders regime.
For seven years we wore a smile as we paid up to 35% of our gross income to
God's Apostle out of fear of annihilation dare we steal from God. Our entire
life was wrapped around the "one true church" and fulfilling our
responsibilities to it. What the members ate, drank, their sex lives, thinking,
and every move was tailored to the specifications for being part of the elect.
To be God centered and spiritual minded meant obeying God as he spoke through
his leaders. Sound familiar? The commune was in our brain. Big Brother was in
our home.
We didn't dare question, we sacrificed--we trusted--the cult leaders' words; we
responded to negativity from the UNcalled with pity as we were the only ones
in the know about God's great plan. So we thought!
The real message under the propaganda was addictive, deceptive, lying, coercive
and psychologically paralyzing. The following paragraph from a publication
called, The Unpardonable Sin, is representative of the intense training and
daily diet I had, and I know many of you have had in your respective cults:
"Repentance is a change of mind and attitude. It is a change from this
carnal attitude of hostility toward God - of rebellion against God's Law, to
the opposite attitude of love, submission, obedience and worship of God,
and reliance on Him. It is an 'about-face' in attitude arid intent, to the way
of God's righteousness."
"Repentance means that you come to really SEE yourself as you ARE - as
God sees you - as a self-centered, hostile, shriveled-up, rotten, vile, filthy,
sinning hulk of rotting human flesh, unworthy to breathe the free air God
gives you!
"It means to be so sorry, not only for what you have done, but, also for
what you ARE - that you abhor yourself that you come, emotionally broken
up, throwing yourself on God's mercy, asking His forgiveness, and His
redemption! It means wanting to be made righteous, for God's spirit will
dwell only in such a mind ...."
How's that for a self-esteem booster, or a self worth reminder?
This type of repetitive programming, leaves us powerless and paralyzed within
the cult, and when we exit the fundamentalist programming our thinking attempts
to dictate our lives through repression and depression.
HOW DO WE HEAL FROM THE EMOTIONAL-PSYCHOLOGICAL-SPIRITUAL ABUSE?
HOW DO WE MOVE FROM VICTIM -----TO SURVIVOR?
Approximately four years into the cult, I started to think. I picked up on lies,
duplicities and contradictions. I was seeing some things my family or cult-deep
friends didn't see. I was unsettled to observe so much unhappiness,-alcoholism,
--hypocrisy and --depression. I could see no spontaneity or individuality with
members. We were taught to overlook "the weak of the world" but the things I
saw, were too stressing to bypass. I started taking a closer look at my own
life; I too was part of that system. My first rebellion consisted of pursuing
self-education (one of the bigger sins!). I passed the time in bookstores which
led me to buying my first book on recovery, The Emotionally Abused Women, by
Beverly Engle. As I began to understand "abuse," I was able to discern that the
Worldwide Church of God was nothing more than an abusive fear threatening
system with the goal of controlling my life and pocketbook. From that point on,
the intensity of my research and education continued to escalate. With the
knowledge and information I received, I also was confronted with the
exploitation and violation of my human rights. And make no mistake about it, it
hurt!! As my self-respect and esteem was in the gutter, I struggled to repair
the damages. As I started to feel again, my emotions were split into two sides,
one of power and hope, and the other, of despair and weakness. I studied,
investigated and researched the history of the Worldwide Church of God and
abusive cultic organizations in general. I was soon able to identify the
corruptive psychological techniques the vindictive controllers, commonly known
as cult leaders, used to recruit me and thousands of others in effort to
maintain their tax-exempt financial empires.
The suicide rate within the WCG was high, and now I knew why. Exiting an
abusive system such as the Worldwide Church of God's may seem impossible to
those whom are confronted with the challenge. And if the psychological damage
were not enough to contend with, the spiritual derailment complicates matters
more so.
We who are survivors of abusive, exploitive groups, commonly known as cults,
must take back the power the criminals cowardly and deceptively steal from us
as they collect their millions under deceit intimidation while in violation of
the U.S. Constitution. The only way, we, as a people, can fight this atrocity
in our society, is to take back the FREEDOM we rightfully deserve. Our freedom
of religion; freedom of information; freedom of education; and freedom to
think; is being eroded away by the sleazy, slick, manipulative tactics
perpetrated by those heading up organizations of organized crime, while calling
it religion.
As we move from the "victim" thinking, to the "survivor" thinking we gain
strength and control. We, the ones who are survivors, can and must take back
the power. Collectively and individually we must turn our experiences into
education and awareness to warn those whom may be the next victims. The purpose
of the psychological cult programs is to control the member and erode the
victim's ability, which in turn paralysis him from reclaiming his own power, or
from fighting back. The destitute ex-member finds he is unable to counter those
still under the mind control and the financially powerful legal teams. They
plan, that we as ex-members will stumble around as if in a drunken stupor while
we plow through the years of hopeful recovery. There IS a better way!
WE MUST TAKE BACK THE POWER
"When human rights are violated, that's when war begins."
Knowledge is power! A survivor owes it to himself to educate and research not
only his own cult but the entire cult phenomenon. If for no other reason, do it
for yourself, we can recover from the damage, if we know what they did and how
they did it. The cult leader continues to control the ex-member as long as that
ex-member succumbs to the tactics once delivered. I cannot stress that enough!
What we see occurring today with cults in our society is a spiritual and
psychological holocaust. Our individual horrific experiences will mean
something and have a purpose, when we turn the negative victimization into a
positive result. We must learn from the past and turn that knowledge into the
tools we need to fight against the tactics of abuse, deception, manipulation
and coercion emanating from the groups in our midst. As I observed the Simpson
vs. the People trial, at times I too was overwhelmed at the manipulations and
mind-control tactics that prevailed in our US court rooms, but all along, I
felt that whatever the outcome would be, the Brown and Goldman family would
survive because they were turning their rightful rage into a positive movement
against domestic abusive violence. No matter how one views the verdict, the
fact remains that Nicole Brown was a victim of abuse from the hands of a
controller. Her tragedy carries a message of warning and will save lives in the
future. We too, must allow our rightful rage to be channeled into strength, not
weakness, as we take back the power from the "Godfathers of today's society."
Recovery means we are survivors, we are no longer victims. We have the
freedom to say and do the things our former cult contacts have lost. We were
once in the spiritual compound with walls too steep to climb, but
now--we--are--here. We are wiser and stronger then we were before our cult
experience. That, to me is a hard earned gift.
Within the span of seven years, the Worldwide Church of God deceptively
coerced $60,000 out of our pocket. They did it though horrific tactics of fear
and guilt. We were not stupid people, we had education behind us, we were not
sheltered or unaware of crooks out there. The point is, the techniques of
coercive persuasion and propaganda have been sharpened and modified throughout
the past five decades, that anyone can be caught unaware, especially when they
are on a spiritual journey. My first call to CAN1 I spoke with Marty, I recall
saying to him, "But you don't understand; they--got--me. " (A little elitism
left over, I guess) My previous education and work experience would lead one to
think that I would not have succumbed to such gross deception. I'm here to tell
all, that no one is immune form this corruptive psychological virus that
increasingly permeates our society and infiltrates our schools.
STEPS TO RECOVERY
Recovery from cult abuse is a humbling and life long process. We build on each
step we take. My personal recovery consisted of reaching out to other victims
and putting my rightful anger to constructive use. I started The Exit & Support
Network, two years ago. In its sixty years of destruction, the Worldwide Church
of God did not have a support network for exiters--now it does. The Exit &
Support Network has affiliates throughout the U.S., Canada and Australia. When
a questioning or exiting member finds their way to one of us, they have access
to references, referrals, exit counseling, research work, history,
investigative assistance and most importantly, connection to hundreds who have
been there. Our collective research has taken us to over twelve conferences
dealing with cults; abuse; and mind-control issues. We've traveled to the
Library of Congress; the Archives to other avenues of education I never would
have dreamed possible. The more I reach out to other victims, the stronger I
became. The most therapeutic measure for me was becoming an Activist of
Awareness against this heinous crime.
The recovery process must include the understanding of the vastness of the cult
problem in our society. If I had to attribute one key factor that was most
significant toward my continued recovery, it would be having learned that the
exploitation and victimization by the Worldwide Church of God was not a
personal attack on me. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. It also
helped to know that I was one of millions caught in the tangled webs spun by
these groups. I was almost immediately self-deprogrammed just by learning that
hundreds of other groups were deceiving their recruits by using the same words
and tactics as the Worldwide Church of God used on me. The Worldwide Church of
God may have been one of the most destructive groups in society for awhile, but
rest assured, they are just one little pea in the pod now!
There are three ABC's to recovery that have proven to be helpful to
hundreds of Worldwide Church of God exiters that have tapped into the
Exit & Support Network:
A.Investigate your group. Research the ins and outs, the history, the leaders,
the financial holdings, the origins of the spiritual dogma, etc.
B.Educate yourself on the emotional, psychological and spiritual affects.
Read the many books available, use tapes, attend conferences, invest in
your wellness. Recognize what ails you to overcome it. A survivor can get
the "programs" out of the mental system by identifying them and uprooting
them.
C.Research the cult phenomenon. Get your attention off of what they did to
you and on to what the cults are doing to all of the human race in society
today.
I also include my "10 steps for success" program:
1.Never touch anything that says, FREE. FREE cost me $60,000. I humbly
share that with you, so you will remember it.
2.Never join any religious organization without a thorough investigation of
the group, its history and its financial accountability. Persuasion by false
representation in the name of Jesus Christ or God, is a sure fire way for a
cult criminal to control his recruit an empty the pockets at the same time.
3.Ask the leader to open his financial books to you.
4.Beware of the nicest people you've ever met.
5.Don't be fooled by "spiritual words" or "do good" community services. Get
your antennas up and make the group stand UP to your scrutiny.
6.Use your gut instinct; its probably right.
7.Pursue on-going education in the areas of, propaganda, mind-control,
hypnosis, abuse, religious addiction, and fundamentalism. The spiritually
minded should research the origins of religions and denominations.
8.Write your testimony, even if it goes no further than your top drawer. Log
your memories, share your experiences. Don't hide, there are people who
will listen as you take back the power from the cult leader. Pick the side of
strength. Seek counseling or therapy when needed and make sure
therapists are cult smart.
9.Replace the past cult life, with new challenges, piano lessons, courses,
exercise class--anything, that will begin to restore your self worth, and self
respect. Keep the brain going with positive replacements.
10.For those who are survivors of bible-groups, I say, Let go and let God.
Please give yourself space before feeling compelled to jump into the next
church. Your whole thinking process has been controlled by a destructive
system and you need time to clear that system out before taking on new
commitments especially when done out of guilt.
In conclusion, I say to everyone here, BEWARE! The cults are transforming right
under your eyes. The deceptive groups are getting smarter as they get
politically correct. They are enhancing their storefronts, sprucing up their
identities and changing their tunes as they cunningly attempt to mainstream and
infiltrate society with the most dangerous methods ever applied. As the public,
for the most part is asleep at the wheel, cults like the Worldwide Church of
God, are attempting to shed their "cult reputation" and will stoop to any level
to manipulate the wisest of minds. Over these past couple of years, the
Worldwide Church of God has demonstrated how seductive these groups can be as
they continue to deceive and slave the people, exploit the constitution,
enhance the mind-control tactics, and use persuasive coercion as they continue
to build their financial empires and self-serving power governments. Do not be
fooled or manipulated by reports of "doctrinal changes," new names, or new
leaders. The cosmetic enhancements are targeted to fool you!
The bible-based cults of today may pose as a religion, but that religious
deception translates into:
Slavery
Highway robbery
Racism
Political agendas
Financial empires
Lastly, I leave my ex-cult member peers with a word of encouragement. Your
voice counts. Collectively, we must stand together and report the atrocity. We
are the ones who must speak out. We can no longer sit back and wait for the
other guy to do it. We--are--that--guy. We must not hang on to the skirt tails
of the few awareness organizations available such as CAN1 and AFF, and expect
them to do all the work. There is a war in our society and it's aimed at our
brains.
Knowledge and awareness are the powerful weapons we have as a defense from
allowing this crime to continue unnoticed. We cannot sit back and allow the
continued death and destruction of this cultic holocaust when we ourselves have
so much annunciation to educate and warn the public with. In my humble opinion
the most therapeutic measure we can do toward healing is to reach out to others
by being pro-active in awareness of cults.
Terry Anderson was a lucky guy; they never got his mind because he knew how to
protect it. You and I both know that there are thousands of others who are not
that fortunate.
Thank you for listening.
By ESN Founder
Transcription from ESN tape EX-2
Exit & Support Network
3-17-01
1Note: Since this tape, CAN is no longer a recommended resource. It was
bankrupted by Scientology and is staffed by its operatives.
^^THE MOST DANGEROUS LIE IS THAT WHICH MOST CLOSELY RESEMBLES THE TRUTH^^
The price of freedom is eternal vigilance- for fear we imprison the mind
Cult Awareness & Information Centre
Ph. 61-(0)7-3216 8016
JanG