Oh Venus and Serena,
Please forgive my sinful contemplation of your little, little tennis skirts, and my even more sinful contemplation of what lies beneath 'em.
Please forgive me for wondering what it would be like to meet a 6 foot JW wannabe with truly powerful thigh muscles.
Please forgive me for wanting to do those dirty, filthy things my God-given genes unfailingly want me to.
Please forgive me for using you instead of the Governing Body as God's One True Channel.
Please forgive me for my doubts about how you are maintaining your status as Active Witnesses of Jehovah.
Please forgive me for wondering how much Field Service y'all do every month. Do you Witness to the umpires, perhaps?
Please forgive me for pondering exactly how large your donations to "Mamma" in Brooklyn are every year. And whether they arrive in the form of signed checks with your names printed VERY legibally on them.
Please forgive me for thinking that you guys would make for kick-ass Governing Body replacements.
Please forgive me for occasionally criticizing an incorrect backhand you make. One should not question the envoy of Jehover, right?
Please forgive me for thinking about how humouress it would be if said backhand were applied to selective Governing Body members, repeatedly.
Please forgive me for feeling sorry for the Governing Body members if said backhand were applied to each Governing Body member once for each molestation case in the files at Bethel (20,000 backhand shots would probably be quite fatal, in my opinion. Poor GB guys.)
In the name of Venus and Serena,
Amen.